I wrote at length about the Terrell Owens situation here, and just to kinda summarize for you… fuckin’, I dunno. I can’t tell you what’s going on in Terrell Owens’ head. No one can tell you what’s going on in Terrell Owens’ head. Michael Irvin can’t tell you, his family couldn’t tell you, Drew Rosenhaus couldn’t tell you, his publicist (who he’s almost certainly nailing can’t tell you. If I had to guess, I’d be pretty confident in saying that it wasn’t a suicide attempt. A cry for help, maybe… an honest case of a drug reaction, I’d also say it’s a maybe.
Sticking with Terrell Owens for a second… early yesterday, before Owens had given his statement, the big question was, “Is it OK to poke fun at this?” I couldn’t do it myself, but… if you’re familiar at all with the Kissing Suzy Kolber blog, you can probably guess where they came down on the issue. Big. Fucking. Green light. They were hard at work yesterday, and as I said… if you’re of the opinion that it’s OK, then you’ll certainly enjoy their work.
Also, while on the KSK tip, Big Daddy Drew (previously a big Bill Simmons fan) goes off on Bill Simmons for some comments he made in a chat yesterday. I certainly see where Drew’s coming from, but at the same time… I feel more inclined to treat Bill Simmons like I’m a Packer fan and he’s Brett Favre. He’s been too great for too long to get hung up on anything now. As far as columnists as major media outlets go… he’s still worlds better than almost anything else out there. I’m not saying I’m giving him a “pass” on anything, I’m saying he doesn’t need one… I think he’s changed sportswriting, and can do whatever the hell he wants at this point. He’s earned it.
Also, yesterday was the day where listening to bad rap finally paid off for me. I read that Chargers safety Terrence Kiel was arrested for shipping some prescription cough syrup to Houston, and I knew why… it’s that Purple Drank, baby. I mean, that’s the purpose of the cough syrup, why Terrence Kiel is involved with mixing up the lean, I have no fucking idea.
And if it seems like I’m compensating for my inability to use the word “fuck” over at The Fanhouse by using it more here… you’re absolutely fucking right.
Japers Says:
September 28th, 2006 at 1:02 am
MJD- I always add a fuck/whore/other fitting curse every 3rd sentence to your AOL posts. The work you do there is great, by far the best posts of the bunch (and its a good bunch). While being young and idealistic it pains me to see you having to conform to the man, getting that audience (and hopefully some sort of payday) is definetly too good to pass up. If i should change the ratio, give me a heads up.
insomniac Says:
September 28th, 2006 at 5:11 am
(AOL friendly comment):
Great job over at AOL Sports with the Owens story. I really appreciated you approaching the topic with patience and humanity while all of the details were still being sorted out.
(MJD flavored comment):
Great fuckin’ job over at AOL with that fucking Owens story. I apprecate the shit out of you for approaching the topic with some goddamn patience and a little fuckin’ humanity when we had no fuckin’ clue what the hell was going on over there.
JP Says:
September 28th, 2006 at 9:18 am
what still bothers me about the media stating TO tried to commit suicide as a 100% true absolute fact is…the hospital appears to disagree.
i thought either by law or just plain not wanting to get sued for malpractice, a hospital keeps people who attempt suicide for 24 to 72 hours for observation. in this case, the hospital let the guy go almost right away. i know people will say the Doctors and hospital got paid off or some other conspiracy crap. but you can’t tell me that every doctor involved is willing to risk his medical license just so TO can avoid embarrasment.
PostmanE Says:
September 28th, 2006 at 10:59 am
Yeah, I wrote something similar yesterday over at our place, but I didn’t really get the freewheeling attitude toward TO-suicide jokes on Deadspin and KSK yesterday. Now, I mean, he seems OK, I suppose, so fire away, but right after it happened? Far too harsh for my taste.
Anyway, can Joey Porter’s motherfucking dogs just kill a motherfucking miniature horse or some shit? Fuck.
chopper dave Says:
September 28th, 2006 at 12:45 pm
Scoop Jackson can tell you what’s going on in TO’s head.
GentleWhoadie9000 Says:
September 28th, 2006 at 12:53 pm
PostmanE,
I’m with you on that shit, I wrote a bit about that too. TO is a screwed up human being who needs some therapy anyway, but he happens to be in a business where millions of meat-head simpletons scrutinize his every move.
Bouj Says:
September 28th, 2006 at 1:34 pm
The police said he admitted to trying to hurt himself:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0927061owens1.html
TO, the hospital, and the police are all saying something different, but who has the least incentive to lie? Not the Dallas PD.
Regardless, I think we should ignore TO until:
1. He does something of relevence on the football field;
2. He starts acting like an adult; or
3. He gets his whole head in front of the shotgun.
JP Says:
September 28th, 2006 at 2:02 pm
Bouj,
good point, but let me ask you… have you ever been so wasted/drunk/groggy that you answered a question wrong?
if TO’s version is for real, it’s entirely possible he didn’t know if htey asked him about pills or whether he likes ham sandwiches.
jp
Bouj Says:
September 28th, 2006 at 3:03 pm
True, but that doesn’t explain why his publicist called 911 saying he tried to whack himself. The truth probably lies somewhere in between, but I don’t buy “allergic reaction” any more than I buy “I didn’t know she was a tranny” from Eddie Murphy.
JP Says:
September 28th, 2006 at 3:28 pm
eddie murphy tranny reference…nice
until the 911 tapes leak (and they will definitely leak) we won’t know if/how she said that. plus put yourself in her shoes…she walks in and finds the guy groggy with a bottle of pills lying around. an easy guess is suicide when you’re panicked and calling 911 without any real idea of what’s going on.
here’s my guess about what happened…he was in pain, took a couple extra pills beyond the Dr recommended dosage, got groggier than i’ve ever been on Nyquil Gel Caps. Publicist walks in and panics. Better safe than sorry…but the shit gets out of hand with everybody jumping to conclusions.
Rhondda Nunes Says:
September 28th, 2006 at 8:27 pm
The police report said his perscription pill bottle was empty, that’s not a couple of pills.
Check it out & references allready to the 911 tapes at the Dallas News Sports link:
http://www.dallasnews.com/sports/
& if T.O. is she-bangin’ his publicist as MJD alludes to; the panic scenario when she walks in seems to fit even more.But I don’t buy Bill Parcel’s “I don’t know what’s going on”routine. Kinda in the interset of the franchise to help T.O. out with his head case.
Babs Says:
September 29th, 2006 at 12:41 am
Crazy. How is it possible to procure 2 cases of prescription cough syrup? Other than theft? No MD is going to provide a precription for that much, nor would a pharmacist fill the Rx.
And mjd, your knowledge base on disparate topics is fucking astonishing.
Sandy Mac Says:
September 29th, 2006 at 1:07 am
“We police officers don’t go out to these calls and make stuff up.” The head of the Dallas Police Association Senior Cpl. Glenn White said Thursday and called for an apology from Owens and Etheredge, continuing,
“Give me a break. Those officers are 10 times better than this man.”
Does that last sentence not tell you something right there about the Dallas Police Assosiation? “Those - officers - are - 10 - times - better - than - this - man.”
And it’s the police that are demanding an apology. Fuck Glen - Don’t mind if I call him ‘Captain’- White!