Archive for October 11th, 2006

October11

Paul Hornung Packed Her

By: the mighty mjd

Where Paul Hornung dipped his wick is now a relevant factor in Wisconsin’s race for secretary of state. A 65-year-old republican with no prior political experience, Sandy Sullivan, published a memior in 2004 that included tales of her doing the hibbity-dibbity with former Packers Paul Hornung and Dan Currie. Because nothing curries favor with voters like a 65-year-old woman telling sex stories.

The book was titled “Green Bay Love Affairs and Other Affairs,” and you’d have to assume that if it wasn’t about livestock, it would have to be about the Packers. This isn’t quite the sex boat scandal–unless Fred Smoot was somehow get this secretary of state candidate on one end of a dildo, and the state treasurer on the other–but it will do. Check out this passage from the book:

“The football players of the 1950s and ’60s were every bit as ‘HOT’ as the men of the present day, if not more so,” Sullivan writes of the days when she was a trim, miniskirted brunette who did some modeling. “Remember, the ’60s was the ‘dawning of the Age of Aquarius’ and some women … were thrilled to experience this brave, new freedom, and celebrate our sexuality … and the football players loved it!”

Hey, imagine that. The football players in the 50s and 60s liked mowing through hot young trim. What a crazy time that must’ve been! We just can’t relate to those radical modes of behavior. Oh, we’ve learned so much since those barbaric days. Yeah… the only difference between then and now was the amount of pubic hair on the ladies. Also, I think “celebrate our sexuality” is a tremendous euphemism for giving up the poontang.

Another interesting little tidbit is found in this quote from Sullivan, describing her book:

“It tells a little bit about my youth, which was 50 years ago. If anybody has any problems with it, they ought to look in their own closet.”

I just did, and other than the six decomposing prostitutes, I’m straight. But back to her quote… alright, she’s 65. So 50 years ago, she was, let’s do a little quick subtraction… she was… wait, how is Mark Chmura involved in this again? Some things are just Green Bay tradition, I guess.

She recounted an encounter with Hornung during training camp in which Hornung picked her up at 5:30 a.m. and drove to a Green Bay hotel for sex. Some Packer coaches were in the lobby, so Hornung made her climb the fire escape to the fifth floor while he went in through the lobby.

Never let it be said that Paul Hornung isn’t a classy guy. “Hey, sweetheart, would you mind climbing five stories on the fire escape, so I can bang that out real quick? Yeah. Thanks, baby. Get me a pack of cigarettes, too. See you up there.”

And just let me make it clear, that as amusing as all of this might be… from any sort of a political standpoint, I don’t really care. I mean, I don’t care about Wisconsin’s secretary of state, and even if I did, this wouldn’t affect my hypothetical vote. I don’t care that a political candidate was a whore fifty years ago. If I found out that Hillary Clinton once had sex with the entire roster of the Miami Dolphins in one evening, it wouldn’t change how I thought about her politically. It was 50 years ago.

Actually, I can’t say that that’s true. If she spread the whole roster out over two weeks, that’s one thing. But all in one night… yeah, I couldn’t support that. That would be dangerous and unsanitary. But you see what I’m saying.

Now, if this lady had gotten a Cleveland Steamer from Najeh Davenport, on the other hand… then we have a story.

Posted in: NFL10 comments

October11

Hugging Tighter And Tighter On Peter Berg’s Jock…

By: the mighty mjd

Just wanted to mention that Friday Night Lights was excellent again last night… even better than the first episode. You might be able to watch it here… but as of the time of this post, it was still showing the first episode. I dunno when or if that’ll change.

I hate to tell you too much about the episode, because you may still want to see it for yourself at some point, but… the scene with the coach and Saracen on the football field… that’s as good as scenes get on network television shows.

Anyway… I never do this. I’ve been asked from time to time to pimp different TV shows or whatever, and I’m usually hesitant to do so, because I’m probably not going to watch them myself. But NBC should put me on the payroll for this, because I’m a big believer. Unfortunately… the ratings aren’t so great (which should probably convince you even further that it’s a quality show), and way more people are watching Dancing with the fucking Stars.

So I’m just going to gently nudge you in that direction one more time. I’m not going to do a weekly review of it or anything, because… that’s just not what I do. But if you’re into TV, and you’re looking for something on Tuesday nights… it’s there, and it’s good.

Posted in: Things That Aren't Sports15 comments

October11

Rasheed Wallace Could Have A Record Year

By: the mighty mjd

The number 41 should be as revered in basketball as 715 is in baseball. 714 was Babe Ruth’s record for home runs in the majors, and as SportsCenter made us all aware when Barry Bonds passed it, that number is a big deal, even though it isn’t the actual record. The NBA should follow suit, and try to copycat some of the tradition that Major League Baseball has, and make a similarly big deal about the number 41, representing Rasheed Wallace’s league record for number of technical fouls in one season.

And it might happen this year, because the chase to eclipse that mark will be on. The NBA has adopted a new “zero-tolerance” policy for bitching at officials, and that’s the best damn news I’ve heard all day. Now, I love Rasheed Wallace… love him. But for every one technical he got last year, if I was in Dick Bavetta’s velcro’d-up shoes, I’d have given him five more. Any time he does the wild swinging of his arms, or the flinging of the headband, he deserves one. Rarely does an NBA game pass where Rasheed Wallace doesn’t at least deserve a technical foul.

If the NBA sticks to this, and enforces it with some backbone, we could see the first ever 50 technical foul season in the NBA. I hope SportsCenter has constant updates on the run towards 50… perhaps even assigning Pedro Gomez to the beat.

“It’s just another ‘Sheed Wallace rule,” Wallace said, shaking his head. “It just means I must be doing something right. Any time they change the rules of the game for one specific player, you must be doing something right.”

Sigh.

It’s a fact that the Detroit Pistons didn’t bitch and whine nearly as much in the 2004 championship season as they did in the following two years, and it’s not a total coincidence that the 2004 team was better than the next two incarnations. The 2004 team had more discipline, and they played harder. As their bitching and whining went up in the following seasons, their discipline and work ethic on the court went down. That happened. I’m not implying that it’s a cause and effect, but there is a correlation.

“I don’t understand it, man, especially for a team like ours,” Chauncey Billups said.

“They know we are a very emotional team. I feel like this is a Pistons rule. It just gives them easier access to have us open up and get emotional and then, boom, they bust our bubble. It’s like they are trying to take the emotion out of the game.”

I love Chauncey, too, but… that is absolute bullshit, my beloved point guard. The league is doing you a favor here. Eliminating the whining and crying would make the Detroit Pistons a better team. They won the title in 2004, and they all thought they were superstars, and had this sense of entitlement, like they should get every call, and they had a right to bitch about things when they were wronged, and that they were bigger than the officials… I’m sure they’d deny that, and they can say what they want, but there was a visible change. In 2004, Tayshaun Prince was a quiet, hardworking guy on the court. And I’m sure he’s still the same guy off the court, but on it, he turned into one of the league’s bitchiest players. It drove me nuts.

Understand it, fellas: the league is doing you a favor here. What’s important is the next play you make. Getting mad about a call that you can’t possibly change is not important. It’s self-indulgent, and it’s a waste. Squash it, and focus on what you’re doing to do next.

What the league is actually doing with this policy is stepping in to coach the Pistons where Flip Saunders refuses to do so.

And to step back and take a look at it from a leaguewide standpoint… this is an outstanding policy, and I hope they follow through with enforcing it. Whining and bitching is at an all-time high throughout the league, and I singled out the Pistons, but every team does it. Every single team has at least one or two guys who bitch incessantly–and it actually lessens the fun I have when watching the NBA. It pisses me off, just a little bit, every single time I see it, and I’m glad the league’s doing something about it.

Whew. Hadn’t had an NBA post in a while. That felt good.

Posted in: NBA14 comments

October11

Randy Edsall Isn’t Playing

By: the mighty mjd

Five players have been kicked off of UConn’s football team for disciplinary reasons. Junior defensive end Harold Stanback, junior safety/linebacker Ricky McCollum, sophomore wide receiver Nollis Dewar and two freshmen, receiver Todd Dorcelus and linebacker Carl Teague have all been removed from the team by head coach Randy Edsall… because they bought beer.

Bought beer. Not “drank beer.” Not “hard a big drunken party.” Not “got hammered and passed out in the middle of Rentschler Field.” They just bought two six packs of beer. Really, that’s it.

The team was staying at a hotel before Saturday’s game against Navy, and five guys went across the street to a convenience store. They purchased one six-pack of Heineken (it is UConn, after all), and one six-pack of Corona.

“We were walking back to the hotel and [assistant coach Carl Kotz] saw us. We just said we were going back to the room. He asked if we had anything in our bags and we all said no. Then we were in meetings later and he went through our rooms and searched through all our things and he said he found the beer.

“No one drank it. No one did anything with it. Nothing happened with the alcohol. And I am 21. There was no crime committed at all.”

And they’re gone. I find that bizarre. Did UConn convert to a Mormon school and not tell anyone about it? I understand that you don’t want players drinking the night before a game (and certainly, that’s never happened in UConn or college football history), but you’re going to kick them off the team for beer they didn’t even drink? That seems excessively harsh.

Posted in: College Football9 comments

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