Once in little league, my uncle came out of the dugout, held up his hands, stopped the entire game, and yelled at me from across the field to tuck my shirt in. I was embarrassed, everyone in the stands found it pretty amusing, and somewhere nearby, David Stern witnessed the scene, gritted his teeth and said, “YEAH. Tuck in that shirt. Bitch.”
I somehow missed this, and it’s evidently not something new, but they were talking about it on PTI yesterday… two of the NBA’s new rules this year include potential delay of game technical fouls for players who don’t have their jerseys tucked in, and also potential technical fouls for players who strip off their warmups on the way to the scorer’s table.
Stern will also be personally conducting inspections of all players pubic hair, and a technical foul will be awarded to the other team for every hair that is untrimmed, improperly conditioned, and pointing in the wrong direction. This fucker’s out of control.
And I know what he’s doing… he’s copying the NFL. And sadly, it works. The NFL has sought, over the years, to completely homogenize everything about their game. Socks must all look the same, only a certain length of towel may be hanging out of the pants, helmets must stay on at all times, endzone celebrations have been pretty much banned… and people like say they like individualism, they might call it the No Fun League, but… as the NFL has become more standardized, cookie-cutter, and personality-less, NFL TV ratings and popularity has steadily gone up.
It works. And despite the long list of criminals in the NFL, it’s the NBA that has the image problem. Your average Joe Whitey out there probably watches the NFL, probably doesn’t watch the NBA, and if you ask him why, he’ll probably give you a reason about thugs, and attitude, and players who don’t care, etc. True or not, it’s the perception.
And David Stern seeks to change that with an NFL-like homogenizing whitewash of the individualism from the league. I think it’s dumb, and I don’t know what could possibly be affected by an armband worn two inches out of position, or a guy taking off his warm-ups on the way to the scorer’s table, but… these meticulous little rules have worked for the NFL. It’s probably good business sense for the NBA to copy it.
Irish-T Says:
October 19th, 2006 at 8:26 am
Stern checking pubic hair-I don’t think ’sheeds gonna like that though Adam Morrison might dig it.
It’s all business. If you want to keep the sponsors you’ve got to clean up the league. And those sponsors run the show.
unc_samurai Says:
October 19th, 2006 at 8:26 am
Uh, Mr. Stern, the fact that jersey’s are untucked is exactly what’s keeping me from enjoying your product. It has nothing to do with a game that includes too many stoppages so that your pampered babies can rest before they try and make the highlight reel. Or with the innefectual rules and equipment changes. Or with the fact that all the teams in my area are punished by expansion (crap, I can’t use that one again this season) or poor ownership. No, it’s definately clothing regulations.
Mark Says:
October 19th, 2006 at 9:51 am
unc has a good point.
“It works. And despite the long list of criminals in the NFL, it’s the NBA that has the image problem”
-SI recently examined this issue, coming to a particular conclusion which I find may explain the problem. In the NFL, when those players get on the field, we see their names on the backs of their jerseys, but for most of the game, they hide behind uniforms, helmets, and facemasks. This provides a “cloak of anonymity” for players, making their off-field transgressions somewhat more forgettable, if not forgiveable. We don’t see the criminal on the field: we see that guy in uniform catching touchdown passes.
The NBA players have nowhere to hide. They’re there, faces in full view, wearing a simple jersey without protective gear. When an NBA player has a transgression, you see his face on the TV, you see his face on the court, and you’re reminded constantly that “this man is a criminal.” No cloak of anonymity, nothing.
Does Stern’s uniform regulations help this? Absolutely not. It might even makes things worse, in fact. I mean, you see someone like Latrell Spreewell (or hopefully you don’t) on the floor with his uniform looking all nice and “pretty” and now you think, “Yeah that clean pretty-boy image is a bunch of bullshit. I fuckin’ hate that guy.”
This probably doesn’t happen often. More likely, it makes no difference to the fans. Stern is re-arranging deck chairs on the Titanic. Want to get at the core of the problem? First, recognize that it’s not about the uniforms.
Jeff Says:
October 19th, 2006 at 10:23 am
The popularity of the league was low before Magic, Bird, and Jordan hit the scene in the 80’s. Now that we have a fresh slate of superstars, I expect to see the polularity rise again. And when their careers are over, it will probably be unpopular again, leading “experts” to blame player behavior. You can’t expect something as elusive as popularity to remain constant forever.
Frankly, I just don’t understand people who choose not to watch basketball because some of the players have been in trouble with the law. It’s one thing if you simply don’t enjoy the game itself, but to adopt a superior tone in reference to player transgressions is, in most cases, hypocritical. Just watch the game or don’t watch the game. The players’ personal lives couldn’t matter less.
Unsilent Majority Says:
October 19th, 2006 at 10:43 am
I was at the Wizards preseason game a couple weeks back. Caron Butler was complaining to Dick Bavetta about the new Adidas uniforms and how they would not stay tucked.
Casey Says:
October 19th, 2006 at 12:02 pm
How long until we see tie-downs on the backs of the Jersey’s. I mean, the NHL has been using them since the mid 90’s, even going as far as giving misconduct penalties to players who didn’t use them (Ahem, Bob Probert). That might be a way to solve the issue. Use the tie down, or risk getting T’d up.
With that said however, I think this move is a pathetic attempt at solving a perceived problem. Also, I think it is sending a mixed message to the public, in that the league actively promotes superstars like Lebron and Wade, but at the same time, tries to limit their individuality on the court.
syzygy Says:
October 19th, 2006 at 12:28 pm
I don’t understand the tech for stripping off warmups, but hasn’t it always been on the books that it’s an untucked jersey warrants a tech?
I don’t see how forcing players to tuck in their jerseys limits individuality. Untucked jerseys look sloppy. That’s all, really. It’s a small step towards reforming the NBA’s image. It’s not the biggest rule change, but it’ll have at least a small effect.
I honestly don’t see a problem with this at all. In high school, refs would get on our cases if our jerseys weren’t tucked in. The NBA obviously should expect more from their players than my shitty high school league (which actually featured Joakim Noah for a few years…yes, THE Joakim Noah) so I don’t see why it’s unreasonable to T someone up for an untucked jersey.
Also, Mark is dead on about the NFL-NBA image issue.
bizzle Says:
October 19th, 2006 at 3:07 pm
Perhaps the NBA should begin outlawing that smug, shiteating grin that David Stern wears around while riding on his high horse. The NBA has for years been focusing on the “superstars”, and rightly so because they’re amazing athletes. But to try to homogenize them by regulating stupid shit like having your jersey tucked in is ridiculous.
Big Daddy Says:
October 19th, 2006 at 3:27 pm
“Your average Joe Whitey out there probably watches the NFL, probably doesn’t watch the NBA, and if you ask him why, he’ll probably give you a reason about thugs, and attitude, and players who don’t care, etc.”
For me it is none of these reasons. Rather simply that I don’t care for professional level basketball. I enjoy high school and college level basketball, but just can’t get into the pros. And yet, I prefer the NFL to college and high school when it comes to football. Go figure. . . .
John Says:
October 19th, 2006 at 3:43 pm
Want to get the NBA’s popularity back? Two words.
Slam. Ball.
Mike Says:
October 19th, 2006 at 4:06 pm
I agree with Big Daddy. The NBA is BORING. It’s just dribble down the court, pass it to the same guy over and over again, then that guy tries to score. Give me a good NFL game any day.
Babs Says:
October 19th, 2006 at 11:51 pm
In order for Stern to establish a respectable image for the NBA, he needs to establish a “short shorts” rule. Bring back the Bird-McHale era of leg!
Really white, hairy dudes…..that’s what he wants. LOVE those classic games. I can’t even focus on the plays…dazzled by the blazing white skin exposed everywhere.
steve Says:
October 20th, 2006 at 2:41 pm
stern’s an idiot. let them play. check this out- for anyone looking to work in sports and stuff there is an internship contest at www.sony.com/pursue-it - there are jobs with the NFL and all these other places. just passing it along good luck
Dave Says:
October 21st, 2006 at 2:27 pm
I’m glad that someone has finally addressed the unevenness of how the NFL and the NBA are perceived when it’s the NFL that has the real image problem. Outside of the Stephen Jackson’s strip club melee and the recent accusations leveled against Sebastian Telfair the NBA has had a relatively quiet off-season whereas in the NFL we hardly went a week without hearing about another player getting arrested for either beating the crap out of his wife or driving while under the influence, don’t even get me started on the Bengals. I’m willing to admit that I’m not as into the NBA like I was back in the Jordan days but I’m not going to blame my lack of interest on the players, cause if any thing they seem to be a lot more palatable than the bums running around with helmets every Sunday.
The Critic Says:
October 22nd, 2006 at 11:37 am
The NFL has problems and few would deny that but the NBA is a small league in comparison. The players are the face of the league and any good business plan has to take into account the prevailing mood of the customers. Thus, when ’sheed acts like a coked up rapper it has an effect. Sponsors begin to question their investment.
Maximus Stern is trying to change the image. I’m just not sure he’s the right guy to do it. They need to bring in Darryl Dawkins. He could change things.
the Doctor Says:
October 23rd, 2006 at 1:32 pm
Johns right, slamball - fun. NBA - not so much.
If the Stern really wants the NFLs success. He should copy what really makes it great: short season, one and done playoffs.
tom franklin Says:
October 23rd, 2006 at 10:50 pm
Stern encouraged the TV networks, sneaker companies, major sports magazines, and NBA franchises to promote the thug “loser” image for the last 15 years …and now they want to reverse course…good luck
lakersorbust Says:
November 3rd, 2006 at 3:41 pm
All of these comments about how much you hate the NBA or how the game sucks or how the sponsors are running from the game are plain stupid. What is true is that the NBA broke the NBA attendance record again last year, team values are increasing and the sponsors (adidas, Nike, beer, etc. love the advertisement)
shut up already! If you don’t like the sport, don’t watch it!
Hush D Says:
November 3rd, 2006 at 8:23 pm
Stern is out of control.
“Lakersorbust”, I love the game too but while it may be correct that the NBA broke attendance records again and that values are increasing. That is what is disturbing.
Ticket prices go up and most people get priced out of the games…that certainly happened in Portland although due to their awful management, play and behavior they have been forced to lower prices.
My point is look how white and upper class fans are that are attending games. And I don’t measure the success of the game by the corporate love of the good business. You need to distinguish between the love of the game and the love of the corporate controlled greed and arrogant management that surrounds the game. Love the game not the bling! Stern should shorten the season so the players are not falling apart halfway through the season. I wish I could fire Stern myself.
MC Says:
November 9th, 2006 at 6:21 pm
It seems like the Technical foul calling by refs right now is a bit overboard. It’s not universal. Stern needs to call a meeting to train them on how to make these calls. The players are getting called for things like shrugging shoulders or just tossing the ball at the ground too hard..I understand what Stern’s trying to do, but he needs to make sure its applied in a uniform manner. Could take some time.
http://loveandbasketball2.blogspot.com
aland411 Says:
December 5th, 2006 at 11:22 am
I LOVE THE NBA, the action is faster and frankly the quality of play is better. No league has become more watered down the nfl. It’s amazing to me, .500 teams coming down the stretch in the nba is boring bad basketball, but 6-6 and 7-7 teams in the nfl is some how great football. The NFL is not parity it’s mediocrity. What tickles me is it’s common for anyone who wants to bash the nba to run down a list of players who have been in trouble with law, and label the entire league, yet they never bring up ray lewis, ray carruth,randy mcmichael, lenard little, larry johnson, rod smith, pacman jones or the hundreds of other nfl players who have been in trouble with the law. It’s the nfl with a former player in jail on death row for murder, not the nba. Players in the nba get into trouble and its the entire league, but in the nfl it’s just that particular person. The double standard is funny!!!