Or some damn disease that you can get from swimming in mud. There’s a creek in Dripping Springs, Texas that runs through Lance Armstrong’s property. At the end of this creek is a large pool that the locals use for swimming, and late night teenage sexual encounters (probably), and Lance uses to ride his bike in, completely nude, apparently.

About a year ago, the 7-time Tour de France champion decided to build a dam on the creek, which caused the swimming hole to become as polluted as Elvira Hancock’s womb. So Lance had to remove the dam, and he spent a half-a-million dollars repairing creek banks and cleaning the thing up.

But the locals say that there are still several inches of gunk in the water, and they’d like Lance to fix it. They’re pissed off enough about it that they’re going public.

“It’s just so aggravating because it’s so obvious what’s the right thing for a decent person to do,” said Jerry Hill, a 51-year-old woodworker who has lived near the pool for nearly 25 years.

Hill and several other Armstrong neighbors said they’re making their complaints public in hopes the dispute can be settled out of court.

Armstrong says he isn’t sure that it’s his fault, and that he’s done all he can, and he’ll ultimately fix it, but … well, something has these people pissed off. And I’m guessing that if Lance already put $500,000 into fixing it, he has some idea that it’s his fault.

Just fix the damn thing, Armstrong. They say it’ll only $50 or $60,000 more to take care of it… if there’s even a chance that he’s at fault, I don’t know why he wouldn’t just take care of it. Even if he won’t do it because it’s the right thing to do, do it because if you don’t, you look like Dan Snyder.

Sheryl Crow would’ve never let him get away with this. She’d have grabbed him by the ear, written a sappy, three-chord song about the joys of skinny-dipping in Texas creeks, and taken care of this herself.