Tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day, that one special day of the year where you’re required to spend hundreds of dollars on your lady in the hopes that you’ll buy the right things and she’ll let you bone her.
And for those of you who can’t think about what to do for your lady, I’d like to revisit this advice from Delonte West, as told to Page 2’s Louise K. Cornetta:
So Jim Jones pumping and then from there, wind blowing through the hair, boom, we get straight to the point — we eat afterwards because I don’t want to kiss no onions. I don’t want to kiss you tasting like onions and steak and mushrooms and everything …
Yeah, we’re going to my yacht. We’ll pull up at the docks and got a guy waiting for us, open our door up and we walk down a lit-up dock and onto the yacht, where we have dinner set up on the boat and we just cruise out on the water. Sit down and have some dinner, some shrimps and steaks, keep it nice and breezy. Pop some bottles, some Moet Rose. The red Moet, we ain’t popping no Kristal, it tastes like urination. We ain’t popping no Kris, that’s $500 a bottle. It ain’t that serious …
OK, so from there, we’re doing a midnight skinny-dipping jump. Alright? From there, hopefully she’s got money because I hope Jaws gets her, boom, make sure she got me in the will, bank, I’m good. Oh well, shark got her! Jaws got her …
One more thing: When we’re on the yacht eating, we’re going to have some Popeyes chicken. That’s for dinner. It’s to let her know, put a mental image on her mind, first and foremost, if you ain’t from the hood, you don’t like Popeyes chicken. Everyone there loves Popeyes chicken and the biscuits — phew. But that’s just getting it on her mind, saying, you know, ‘Yeah, I can wine and dine you, but I’m a little rough around the edges and I’m keeping it real with you. I can be romantic, but this is real, we’re going to eat some chicken tonight. Chicken and biscuits.
I will never ever get tired of reading that, and I will never stop believing that it is solid dating advice. Oh, and just to justify the use of the trim tag…
The Big Picture Says:
February 13th, 2007 at 11:17 pm
he doesn’t want to taste onions on his boo-boo, but fried chicken is OK? eh, still solid advice. gonna get a lot of people laid tomorrow.
field negro Says:
February 14th, 2007 at 1:33 am
And just what the f**k is wrong with some good Popeyes chicken before a date? Hell a an has to show that he has some class. It’s the perfect aphrodisiac. Crispy,greasy,spicey….hell, I am getting turned on just thinking about that damn bird!
Bouj Says:
February 14th, 2007 at 12:10 pm
And to think Red didn’t want any dance team sullying up the great Celtics court.
JP Says:
February 14th, 2007 at 2:32 pm
i didn’t know Smoove B played for the Celtics.
Team Ramrod Says:
February 15th, 2007 at 2:47 am
It doesn’t work. Trust me.
Hercules Rockefeller Says:
February 16th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
Delonte West is black?
Sexy Beast Says:
February 20th, 2007 at 1:45 pm
I don’t care what anyone says. Delonte is the finest thing i have ever seen and he can buy me all the popeye’s chicken he wants. With a body like that, i don’t care what he does on the date as long as it ends up that he and i are in the bedroom with a do not disturb sign.
~Peace out my bitches!
Monponsett Says:
March 2nd, 2007 at 11:20 pm
Fortunately… Popeye’s keeps the Sail Thru open late on Valentine’s Day for romance-minded ghetto yachtsmen. Popeye was a sailor man, after all…