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These Will Be Difficult To Explain To The Grandkids

I’m not the kind of guy who wants to tell anyone what to do with their body, but… well, I think it’s weird to get a picture of someone permanently inked to your skin when that person doesn’t know or like you. That’s just me.

Anyway, SI.com has a gallery up right now if the most insane tattoos that their readers have. All of them were sort of jaw-dropping since they’re, you know, sports tattoos, but a few stood out. I didn’t believe this one was real:

As punishment, he should actually have to.

But it is. I don’t know if the statement on the man’s head is actually true, but it is a real tattoo. A radio station gave him Laker playoff tickets to do it. The same guy, on the same radio station, has also been tasered by Game, had mace squirted into his eye, and eaten worms. Shaq should probably sue this guy. I mean, I wouldn’t care if someone started a rumor that I did a guy, but I’d be highly offended if it was that guy.

Among the other highlights: the Bears with with Buddy Ryan’s signature inked into his back, the guy with a portrait of Mike Tyson with the words “TEAM TYSON FOR LIFE” under it, and two older soccer fans with tattoos on their hairy chests. Those two, I actually sort of respect, because I have no doubt that those gentlemen would kill (and have killed) to defend the honor of their teams.

Matthew J. Darnell

11 Comments

  1. If I was going to tattoo “I Slept With Shaq” on my forehead I would have had it written backwards so when I look in the mirror I could read it.

  2. I know the lower back tattoo on women is a turn-on for some men, but having it be of the Raider’s logo has to completely negate the whole appeal, I am right?

  3. I have to agree with Emily…Scarlett Johanssen could be naked and begging for some lovin’, but a Raiders tat on the lower back would pretty much ruin it.

  4. O’Neal actually claims to have “I slept with Shaq” written in raised, reversed letters on his bedroom headboard. Shaq- who is not opposed to a little woof-woof now and then- finds it to be a useful tool when weeding through his numerous paternity suits.

    You can identify ex-Shaq-lovers simply by lifting a girl’s bangs… not much unlike how one determines if Damien from “The Omen” is actually the Antichrist.

    “Hell.. that guy’s kids might have the same forehead. I was bringing it Prison Style that day, lemmetellya.”

    On the seventh day, God made successive sodomy comments in the MGD sports blog… and it was good.

  5. Wow… that is really shocking. Some people do the craziest stuff for attention. Mommy didn’t love him enough.

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