3.31.2005
The NBA's All-Bargain Team
The NBA's starting five, in terms of performance per dollars...
PG - Tony "Oui Oui" Parker
SG - Dwyane Wade
SF - Bobby Simmons
PF - Udonis Haslem
C - Amare Stoudamire
Also, high on the list were Tayshaun Prince, Josh Howard, Kirk Hinrich, and Luke Ridnour. The key, basically, is to still be playing on your rookie contract.
This is a nice topic of conversation, but it doesn't really mean much. Zach Randolph made the list for best bargains, but I wouldn't want him around my team unless he was serving them nachos.
Appearing on the worst bargains listed are are Jason Kidd and Reggie Miller... also revealing some flaws in the system. Reggie makes a lot of money, but his veteran presence is worth a lot. Kidd's numbers are down because he's been hurt, but without him, there's nothing at all left in the state of New Jersey that's worth saving.
There were, however, some guys who have very much earned their spots on the worst bargains list, such as Latrell Sprewell and Sam Cassell, who are apparently being paid to make a team worse.
McDonalds High School game dominated by future loathable douchebags
The game's MVP, Josh McRoberts... going to Duke. Guy who had 13 points, 9 assists, and 2 clutch free throws... going to Duke. Fuck.
I've really never had any substantial amount of hate for Duke, but it seems to build a little bit each year at this time. In a few months, maybe it'll wane, but right now... I've spent the last month hearing Billy Packer and Dick Vitale do everything short of propose to Mike Krzyzewski on the air.
Anyway, McRoberts and Paulus... enjoy your days now. Soon, everyone will hate you.
The Jump
An excerpt from "The Jump," Ian O'Connor's book about Sebastian Telfair's move from high school directly to the NBA.
Quality reading, if you've got a few minutes. Interesting how David Stern, so opposed to high schoolers jumping directly to the NBA, wanted to make sure that Sebastian in the house on draft night. Perhaps a bit hypocritical, but David Stern certainly knows where his bread is buttered. That sounded sexual. Sorry.
3.30.2005
Penn State tosses archers off football team
Not a good start for a Penn State football team that's likely to be under a microscope all year. Joe Paterno went 4-7 last year, this could be his last year on the sidelines, and... we're not off to a good start. Unless you're William fucking Tell.
Four highly-evolved intellectual linemen have been dismissed from the team for allegedly shooting arrows through an apartment wall. And these four geniuses are fifth-year seniors. Fifth-year seniors are emptying the quiver, pulling back the compound bow, and launching arrows through a wall. Excellent work, Penn State. Student athletes at their finest.
Can you imagine sitting in the next apartment, relaxing, enjoying a cup of tea or something, watching Sanford and Son... and an arrow rips through your wall? And you go next door, and you have to confront four Penn State offensive linemen? That can't be a pleasant feeling. Unless you've got a gun, you should probably be pretty scared of people dumb enough to do something like that to begin with.
If Florida State plays Penn State this year, Chief Osceola should probably stay away... you wouldn't want any of those goons to get the idea to set their arrows on fire before launching them into neighboring apartments.
If no one left early for the NBA...
...ESPN theorizes what the NCAA Tournament might look like. For instance...
Starting for UConn: Ben Gordon, Marcus Williams, Charlie Villanueva, Josh Boone, and Emeka Okafor.
Georgia Tech: Will Bynum, BJ Elder, Jarrett Jack, Chris Bosh, Luke Schenscher.
Memphis: Dajuan Wagner, Darius Washington, Rodney Carney, Kendrick Perkins, Amare Stoudamire.
Duke: Shaun Livingston, JJ Redick, Luol Deng, Shelden Williams, Dwight Howard.
You get the idea. They do 16 teams in all, although I'm not sure everything is completely accurate. I don't know what Dwight Howard would've gone to Duke, and they have LeBron James playing for Akron, when I thought he would've gone to Ohio State. I dunno. But we'll play along.
I'd like the UConn team to win the national title. That front line wouldn't even be fair, and you know that Charlie Villanueva wouldn't be such a slack-ass if he had to look at Emeka Okafor every day. Those three towers down low, plus Ben Gordon on the outside? That's not being stopped. And if they need to go smaller, Rashad Anderson would make a pretty nice sixth man.
The Duke team, obviously, is also ridiculous. Assuming Dwight Howard went there, that's just plain nasty. I'd still give a slight edge to UConn, though.
The good news is that this may come a little closer to fruition soon, with the impending NBA's age minimum of 20, which I think is nothing but a positive idea. College basketball will get better, the NBA will get better, and no one loses. Well, some ultra-talented 18 year olds might lose, but I have a feeling that if there's going to be an age limit, there will be some kind of a professional option, such as a minor league, available to kids for whom college isn't an option, for whatever the reason.
Why is a punter using steroids?
Todd Sauerbrun... you have problems. Todd Steussie and Jeff Mitchell... fine. Have it at. You're offensive linemen. I'm not saying it's cool, but I understand. At least you have a reason for using steroids.
But a punter getting a steroid prescription filled? Come on... you punt. You get like 5 or 6 plays a game, and there's only one or two muscles in your body that even matter.
And this makes it even better. When contacted for comment, Todd Stuessie and Jeff Mitchell were smart enough to not to respond. CBS called up Sauerbrun and asked if he knew James Shortt, the guy who wrote the prescriptions, and who is also the subject of a DEA steroid probe, and Sauerbrun blurts out, "I like him very much."
Ten minutes later, the douchebag called CBS back and said he was confused, and that he didn't know Shortt. That Todd Sauerbrun was confused, I believe. That he doesn't know Dr. Shortt, I don't.
And y'know that ongoing feud between Sauerbrun and the Gramaticas? The Gramaticas are winning.
Marvin Harrison sued
A few kids have accused Marvin Harrison of attacking them, unprovoked. Their story goes something like this: Three kids wanted Marvin's autograph. They were standing around waiting for Marvin to end a cell phone call. Two of Marvin's boys told them that there would be no autographs or photos. And without further provocation, Marvin Harrison and his two homies physically attacked the children. One of the kids says Marvin applied a "potentially deadly choke hold."
I just don't see this as likely, even though the mental image of Marvin Harrison physically chasing down and assaulting three kids is kinda funny. I wish it had been Peyton Manning, though.
I'm sorry, I just don't buy that Marvin Harrison flipped out one day and threw down with three kids. If it was Michael Westbrook, I'd believe it. Randy Moss, maybe. Any member of the Oakland Raiders, in fact, or anyone who's ever spent a significant amount of time with Bill Romanowski, and it's believable. Marvin Harrison, though? Sorry. I have my doubts.
3.29.2005
Chucky Atkins: Kobe's the GM
"I ain’t the GM of this team. Kobe’s the GM of this team. Ask Kobe. You’ve been watching this stuff all year. You’ve been watching it and I've been playing in it." - Chucky Atkins, when asked what he'd like the team to do in the offseason.
Kobe managed to sound consescending even while trying to smooth things over. "He'll just work through it. He'll be fine. That's my boy, so I'll look out for him, make sure he stays confident, make sure he stays aggressive."
Chucky Atikins is a veteran. He's been around longer then Kobe, and doesn't need Kobe to look out for him. If he needs to skate on a rape charge, maybe he'd need Kobe to guide him through that. Otherwise, he'd probably prefer that he just shut the fuck up.
I said when Shaq left for Miami that Kobe would never win a title on his own. There are times when I watch him play that I can talk myself out of that, and believe that with the right cast, he can indeed get it done. But I always end up coming back to the belief that in order for a team to win a championship, they've got to be a cohesive unit that cares about each other, and will play hard for each other. I don't know if that's possible with Kobe around. It clearly is not happening, 1 year into the Kobe-on-his-own era.
And yes, just one blog item today... my apologies. I'm sick. I feel like I've been raped by Shaq... or worse, Magic.
3.28.2005
Final Four is locked in
UNC, Illinois, Michigan State, and Louisville.
I picked UNC midseason, and I had them winning my bracket, so... I'm not going to change it up now. Funny thing is, I'm really not overly impressed with how they play basketball, and they needed perhaps the worst call in the history of college basketball to beat a very very good Villanova team, but... I still think they're going to win.
There are things I like about them. Obviously, their talent level is off the charts. If their talent is a 10, the next closest in college basketball is an 8. And I like how they get after it on defense. They turn up the pressure, they do it responsibly, they cover for each other, they sustain it throughout the game, they force the other team to do a lot of things they don't want to do, and their D is the biggest reason they've gotten as far as they have. That sentence was too long. My apologies.
But, that said, it doesn't seem like they're always a cohesive unit offensively. Maybe they don't have to be, since they have nearly perfect weapons at three offensive positions. But of the best offensive teams in the tournament, in terms of moving the ball, taking good shots, and playing intelligently, they aren't close to the top.
By the way... you know who's responsible for UNC's incredible collection of talent? Matt Doherty. Raymond Felton, Sean May, Rashad McCants... all recruited by Doherty. The only guy who plays that wasn't recruited by Doherty, in fact, is Marvin Williams. That, oddly enough, probably has to be considered the crowning achievement of Doherty's career.
Now that we're down to four, Vegas has North Carolina has 7-5 favorites to win at all. Illinois is listed at 2-1, with Louisville at 3-1, and Michigan State at 9-2.
I'm sure we'll squeeze in time to talk about the other three teams as the week goes on... there are six full days before anyone plays again.
And just because I wanted to mention it somewhere... do you know what your chances were of filling out an actual perfect bracket, with every game right? According to computer programmer Brannon Shadrick, your odds are 1 in 9,223,372,036,854,775,808. That's more than 9.2 quintillion. Just as a point of reference... there aren't that many pubic hairs in the world. Not even close. Not even if you count all the ones that have been shaved. That is not a fathomable number. Your odds of filling out a perfect bracket are worse than your odds of winning the lottery, being struck by lightning, and being bitten by a shark, all in the same day.
Venus and Serena write advice book for pre-teens
themightymjd.com press department has been forwarded an incomplee and confidential list of chapter titles for the new book. We'll share them with our readers...
1. Fashion Advice: The Keys to Wearing Clothes and Showing Nipple at the Same Time
2. Nurturing Your Internet Shopping Addictions
3. You and Your Catsuit: Showing Off That Ass
4. Dealing With Your Crazy Motherfucker of a Father
5. Dominate Those White Bitches: A How-To Guide
Lakers Lose 8th Straight
So, remember when I said I thought the Lakers were going to make the playoffs? HA... Just kidding. Fooled you.
Clearly, I am a dumbass. I underrated a few things... 1) The brutality of their remaining schedule, 2) The fatigue factor, especially for Kobe Bryant, 3) That Denver could sustain their quality play, and 4) The Lakers kinda suck.
So now, they've lost 8 straight, and their head coach is calling them a bunch of quitters. Not exactly a recipe for success. I really thought Kobe would be able to will them into the playoffs. But recently, his second half statistics in particular have been brutal. In first halves, he's all world. In 2nd halves, he plays like Bob Cousy. The Bob Cousy of today, that is.
That's fatigue. That's a man getting physically tired of doing it by himself. And with Lamar Odom missing 4 games in a row... Kobe's really out there by himself.
But, y'know... the argument could be made that that's his fault, too. At any rate, the Lakers are a lost cause as far as the playoffs are concerned... and they'll have a lot of questions to answer in the off-season, too.
3.24.2005
It's Wepner Day
On March 24, 1975, a big sloppy unknown meatbag stepped into the ring with Muhammad Ali. For 14 rounds, 2 minutes, and 41 seconds, Chuck Wepner took everything that Muhammad Ali had. He took Ali's best punch... in the face, many, many times. The champ unleashed fury on Chuck Wepner's head, and he stood and took it. He simply refused to be hurt or intimidated. Ali finally knocked him down in the 15th, and even though he got up, the ref stopped the fight with 19 seconds left. Wepner lost the fight, but became a legend.
To this day, Wepner's display against Ali remains perhaps the single most impressive display of nutsac in sports history.
Underdogs in the NCAA tournament tonight? Make Wepner proud.
New Uniforms for the Celtics?
There are just certain things that probably shouldn't be fucked with. I am of the opinion that the Boston Celtics' uniforms are one of them.
They're not going to change the current uniforms, just add a third uniform that will probably have some black in it. I didn't like the "add black to every uniform" phase while it was hot, and I definitely don't like it now that it's completely played out. And it's the Celtics, man... the Celtics shouldn't be taking the court in some NBA Jam-inspired uniforms with black stripes... that's just wrong.
I like the green, I like the white, I like the little gay guy in the leprechaun outfit. That's the way it should stay. These are not the Charlotte Bobcats. You can't just go screwing with the uniforms. There's a small number of uniforms in sports that are sacred, and should not be messed with: Green Bay Packers, Pittsburgh Steelers, New York Rangers, the Yankees and the Red Sox, and maybe even above all... the Boston Fucking Celtics. Ricky Davis probably wouldn't even fuck with the Celtics uniforms. This is a very very bad idea.
Rocket's Hummer stolen
Y'know, I'm pretty sure that even if I'm someday a bazillionaire, my kids won't be driving Hummers to school. Maybe if they have to drive across the Yukon territory to make it in time for homeroom, or maybe if they have to drive through alligator-infested swampland. Maybe then they'll get a Hummer. If that's not the case, though, the little bastard can hop in his Escort.
But... Roger Clemens' kid was driving a burnt orange (because he had committed to Texas, of course) Hummer, and it was stolen. Koby Clemens left it unlocked, and someone made off with it. The poor child nearly had to go back to driving the black Hummer.
Of course, I'm not loaded, and I don't have children (that I'm aware of), so maybe my attitudes will change one day. But for now, Roger Clemens and his kid can suck me.
This spent time on the front pages of both ESPN.com and MSNBC's sports page today. I guess there are those who think that a millionaire athlete losing a car is a big deal. I am not one of these people. I was kinda hoping the car would be up on EBay by now.
How Pat O'Brien gets down
To me, Pat O'Brien will always be associated with the NBA on NBC. It was him, Marv Albert, and Teshy's theme song. That was TV at its finest. But now, Pat O'Brien will always be associated with some other things... like hookers and blow. Among other things, such as...
- Leaving dirty voice mail messages
- Sexually harassing a co-host of a rival show
- Licking the face of his own co-host at the company Christmas party
- Offering anal sex as a gift for a gay co-worker
- Asking the same gay co-worker what he'd do if O'Brien jerked off on his couch
- and yelling, "What's up, my (negroes)!" to some African-American employees.
Not even his lawyer is denying any of this stuff. Pretty impressive list, Pat.
3.23.2005
Jim Nantz, blah blah blah.
I'm curious to know what some others think, but... I hate Jim Nantz. I guess I don't hate him... he's probably a perfectly decent human being, much unlike Matt Bullard, who I really do hate. But anyway... I don't like listening to Jim Nantz. Not at all.
He's got an annoying ability to overdramatize things, even when he isn't saying much about them. He'll slip into that Jim Nantz "I know damn well my voice will be heard on this replay for years to come" voice, and then say something cheezy like, "...and that's why he's wearing Carolina blue."
He's also got the need to make every single one of his sentences sound profound. A lot of drunk people do that. Everyone's got a friend who gets shitfaced, and then thinks everything they say must be heard... and not only heard, but acknowledged to be the most brilliant revelation in the history of the universe. Nantz does it sober.
I just think he seems kinda smug, rarely offers anything insightful, and cruises along because he has a smooth, recognizable voice. Maybe I'm in the minority.
Marcus Williams gets $340,000
Let me see if I have a handle on this. Rich Neuheisel pretended to not know it was wrong for a college coach to bet on college athletics, and he gets almost $5 million. Marcus Williams has his face caved in and career ended by a steroid-abusing, racist, psychopath, and he gets $340,000? Sure, makes sense.
You can get more than that if McDonalds serves you a burnt McNugget. Who was this guy's lawyer, the stutterer in My Cousin Vinny? He's got a broken left eye socket, memory loss, double vision, depression, and it ended his damn career. I just can't believe that $340,000 is the best they could do. Romanowski spends that much a year on pills.
Bonds quitting?
Kinda seems like it. Said Barry, "I'm tired of my kids crying. You wanted me to jump off a bridge, I finally did. You finally brought me and my family down... So now go pick a different person."
I nominate Mark McGwire.
It's hard to blame Barry for wanting to walk away for half a year, or a year, or forever. I mean, whether he juiced or not, and regardless of what you feel he would deserve for that, dealing with reporters constantly sweating him about it... that would suck. Add that to the knee surgery, his advancing age, and maybe it's time to quit all together. He certainly doesn't need the money. He doesn't like the attention. And he doesn't really seem to enjoy playing the game.
It really seems like an easy call. The only reason I see for him to come back at all is if he wants that home run record. Personally, I'd like to see him get it, just to see the reaction... from baseball, from fans, from everyone. People would be outraged for all kinds of different reasons, and that would please me.
Poppin' that jersey
I've noticed a ton of it in the NCAA tourney. A guy hits a big shot, his team wins, what's happening next? He's poppin' that jersey.
You know what I'm talking about. A guy will grab the jersey somewhere above the name of the team, and hold it up, showing it off. It's kind of a cool way to be a show-off. You're calling attention to yourself, you're doing something completely unnecessary, but... it's for the team. You're reppin' your school. There's something to be said for that. So let's just hope that no one decides to slip their arms into their jersey, twist it around backwards, and hold up their own name on the back.
Anyway, the New York Times has seen fit to write an article about it. I'm linking to it because... well, because I can't find much else to link to. But I hope you enjoy it.
3.22.2005
Mean, ornery, son of a bitch will return next year
And I'm glad. The man deserves to go out on his own terms. Someone who's accomplished that much, touched so many lives... as long as he's not hurting the team (and he isn't), he deserves to go out when he wants, and how he wants.
So... some ups to Temple University. I didn't like how they handled the whole thing, but they deserve some credit for bringing him back. I think the Temple AD should call a press conference, announce that Chaney is coming back, and end it with, "...and Phil Martelli can blow me."
In fact, I think this whole thing will probably turn into a positive for Temple. If a recruit is sitting at home deciding between St. Joe's and Temple, he's either going to pick the school that did some roughing up, or a school that cried about it. If he chooses Temple, you know he's ready to bust some heads. If he chooses St. Joe's, he's probably a bitch-made punk anyway.
Paul Silas out
And I think it's the right move. If LeBron's OK with it, so am I... and I don't see him shedding any tears.
The Cavs absolutely could not go into next season with Paul Silas as the head coach, and considering that they're playing a lot like the Washington Generals right now, you might as well can him now and see if you can't light a spark to stop the losing streak.
Here's what you can say positive about the Paul Silas era in Cleveland: LeBron obviously developed quite well under him. That's a fact... but, y'know, LeBron is so special that I think he could have developed pretty well if was led by a coaching staff of Rick Pitino, Rich Kotite, and that crazy bitch who fired Ashley McElhiney.
The negatives are a little more plentiful. The Cavs, often times, seemed like an unhappy, dispassionate, unorganized team. If LeBron didn't create offense for them, a lot of times, there was just no offense. Yeah, they've had personnel problems... point guard and depth have been issues. But if a team in the East has two All-Stars, they should get themselves into the top half of the conference. That's it. Period.
And the Cavs haven't. Add to that the fact that he called someone a cunt last week, and that the Cavs are in the tank, and it's an easy call. See You Next Tuesday, Paul.
Bob Knight back to being Bob Knight
Well, it had been a little while since Bob Knight put himself in a headline. I guess it was time.
Knight popped off on Mike Davis and Indiana yesterday, for some reason. He said of Indiana and their current head coach Mike Davis, "They created that for themselves. The guy that's coaching there is a guy that I told Pat (Knight, his son) we were going to replace at the end of the season. There's no way that I would have kept the guy any longer than that. That's their problem."
Um... why now? Guy was fired in 2000, and five years later, he decides to throw Mike Davis under a bus. The timing of it is just baffling. Texas Tech plays a Sweet 16 game in two days. This happened five years ago. Was he waiting until he proved he could get to the Sweet 16 before he said something? Was he afraid to rip Davis until he re-established his own clout?
Just strange... and I'm really rooting for Mike Davis to either keep his job, or finds a hell of a lot of success somewhere else.
And, just because it never gets old... Vintage Bob. As much as I don't like the guy, I just have to be in awe of his masterful use of the word "fuck." This is a man who understands and appreciates the power that the word should carry when said properly. In that way, I like to think of myself as a young Bob Knight.
Bad idea.
Charlie Villanueva, according to a member of UConn's coaching staff, is headed to the NBA.
I just wonder how much of this decision was made emotionally after being benched by Jim Calhoun in the tournament game against NC State. Take some time and think about it, Charlie. I like you, but you aren't ready.
Physically, sure, he's ready. It's all there for Charlie Villanueva. Size, strength, agility, moves, shooting touch... there are not many guys in the universe that can boast of having a skill set like Charlie Villanueva's. But mentally, I'm sorry... he's not there. He takes nights off. On some nights, passion and energy are as abundant as his body hair.
If he goes to the NBA, he'll probably be a lottery pick. And there will be nights where he has 25 and 10, and wows everyone in the building. But there will be nights where he makes Kwame Brown look like Bill Walton and gets abused, too. I don't think Charlie Villanueva is a confident guy all the time. That might do him in.
Rethink it, man. One more year in college will do a lot for you, and in the long run, probably make you a lot of money.
3.21.2005
Some tournament thoughts...
- Villanova will give UNC their toughest test yet. Villanova's guards, when they're playing well, are unbelievable. I don't think there's any way you can game plan for them. Allan Ray, Mike Nardi, and Randy Foye might be the best backcourt in the country. One-on-one, they can't be stopped, and if you double one, another will bury you. If they can stay patient, slow the game down, and find a way to force some turnovers, they can give UNC all they can handle.
- Mississippi State gave Duke all they wanted. They just weren't able to pick up the extra foul on Sheldon Williams, which would've been an immense help. Mississippi State's an excellent team... a pretty impressive win for Duke. Ultimately, they just had too many weapons.
- I thought UConn got hosed today, with a couple of missed calls. That said, though... they put themselves in that position. Their frontcourt, which should dominate, did not. NC State had a good game plan, but... Charlie Villanueva and Josh Boone needed to make their presence felt a little more. Villanueva in particular was lackluster. He's an all-world talent, but he's not ready yet for the NBA. Give NC State credit... they're playing well at the right time, and there's no one they can't beat. There's something about Julius Hodge, though, that's annoying as hell. He is cocky and ugly.
Extreme Dodgeball
I think I might have a new 3rd-favorite sport. Basketball one, football two, and three... Extreme Dodgeball.
I've seen it a couple times this week on the Game Show Network. In fact, I'm getting ready to watch it again here in a few minutes. Now, it's got some problems... but the basic structure is fun, and it makes for quality mindless TV.
The basic problem is how the Game Show people have done it. Season 1 was like the WWF... they had different teams with different gimmicks. For example, one team was composed entirely of jockeys. No one was taller than 5'1". One team was all sumo wrestlers, etc. Season 2 is kinda the same, but they've replaced tiny jockeys and sumo wrestlers with real athletes... or at least people who look like real athletes. There are still teams like the CPAs (Certified Public Assassins) and Ink Inc. (all tattoed people), but the quality of dodgeball is much better. I didn't think that was a sentence I'd be typing today.
But the upside is that... well, it's fun to watch. It's a pretty good TV sport. Even though headshots don't count, it's nice to see someone take a dodgeball in the grill every now and then. It's exciting when someone makes a tough catch to out someone.
I'm telling you... if someone started a real professional dodgeball league, held open tryouts for real teams, and gave it the NHL's timeslots on ESPN and NBC, it would catch on.
Dream Job...
Matt Bullard somehow survived another week, which is terrible news because it means that Matt Bullard will be on my television one more week. I've grown to hate him, not just as an NBA analyst, but as a human being. I want to tie him to a tree, and I want to hit him in the face with a baseball bat... over and over again.
He has no personality. He offers no insight or information. His ever-present fake-ass smile is the most annoying thing on television. I repeat, it is the most annoying thing on television, and considering that I've seen that fucking "Is anyone going to the post office?" commercial roughly 2,827 times in the past four days, that's quite an accomplishment.
And yet, he keeps on advancing. I don't understand what's wrong with people. Dennis Scott wasn't great, but... Dennis Scott doesn't make me want to throw a brick through the television. Matt Bullard does. In fact, I take that back... when Bullard's on, I don't want to throw a brick through the television, I want to take a bath... and drop the television in with me.
But the good news is that next week brings the finals... and Dee Brown's going to win. Not even Woody Paige could screw that up. Dee Brown, while I'm still not confident that he'll be a very good analyst, is miles ahead of anyone else. He's gotten better every week, and unless he takes the stage next week and spits a big loogie in Al Jaffe's face, he should cruise.
By the way... this goes in the blog, because again, there will be no Throwin' Bows this week. My apologies, but... with the tournament on, I've been watching very little NBA this week. If I can't do it well, I don't wanna fake it.
Naismith Player of the Year candidates
Andrew Bogut, JJ Redick, Wayne Simien, and Chris Paul are the candidates. It's a tough call. The college player of the year is always a tough call... the talent is so spread out, there are so many different styles of play, and most people are playing against different levels of competition.
I think you can eliminate Simien... when you compare big men, I think Bogut gets the nod. He's got slight edges in scoring and rebounding, and in general, has a bigger impact on games. That leaves Paul, Redick, and Bogut... and it really comes down to personal preference. If you like a point guard that can control the game and break down a defense, take Paul. If you like a guy with a complete offensive game from the perimeter, with a knack for hitting clutch shots and free throws, take Redick. If you like a big man with a scoring touch and great vision, take Bogut.
If I had to pick one... I'd go with Redick, but I'd understand if you went the other way. He's such a huge part of Duke's offense, and when he's on, he's pretty much unstoppable. You can say the same for any of the three, I guess, but... Redick's still playing, and Paul is not. And Redick's played against a higher level of competition than has Bogut.
For what it's worth, though, I think all three will make very good NBA players.
3.18.2005
Silas called Boozer a cunt
It's so rare that I get to use the word "cunt" with a clear conscience. But thanks to Paul Silas... here we go, baby. It's cunt time!
You may have seen a little note somewhere yesterday about Paul Silas apologizing for a remark, that never actually bothered to mention the remark. That's because newspapers can't print the word "cunt."
A reporter asked Silas about Boozer returning to Cleveland for the first time since bolting for Utah, and Silas said, "See You Next Tuesday." The reporter had no idea what he meant... and I wouldn't have, either. So he asked for further explanation. Silas spelled it out for him. "C. U. Next. Tuesday."
Apparently, that's a pretty standard way to call someone a cunt underhandedly. This website advocates the method, and gives many examples of how it can be used.
Excellent work, Paul Silas. This kind of thing doesn't happen every day. It's hard to even get Shaq and Kobe to say something substantive about each other. I mean, the media goes crazy when Shaq makes some brick wall/Corvette analogy... and here we've got a head coach calling a player a cunt. It doesn't get much better than that.
These remarks he thought were off-the-record got out, and then his Creighton Blue Jays lost in the NCAA tournament. Probably not a great day for Paul Silas. But hey, at least he can look forward to getting shitcanned in the offseason.
Mark McGwire takes a mighty tumble
Man... not a good day for Mark McGwire. How bad does he look right now? Is there anyone out there who believes that he hasn't had a few syringes in his ass? Anyone? Anyone at all?
Being on the brink of tears while reading an innocuous opening statement was a pretty rough start. If he doesn't have something on his conscience, I don't know why he's crying at that point. The man was just hurting... I almost felt bad for him. And then when the questions started coming, and he wouldn't answer... that just doesn't look good.
And I don't buy his argument that if he says he didn't do steroids, no one believes, and if he says yes, he risks public scorn. Y'know, Rafael Palmiero looks pretty good right now. I think most people are of the opinion that Raffy is clean. I think most people are now of the opinion that Mark McGwire has been shot up like a heifer on a Burger King farm.
On one hand, I didn't kinda want to see McGwire be exposed. A little bit of schadenfreude on my part. Hey, I never said I was a good person. But if Barry Bonds is going to be raked over the coals, McGwire probably deserved it, too. But now that it's happening, I kinda feel for the guy. Even though he did the 'roids, he did work hard, I think his accomplishments meant something to him, I think it meant something to him to help restore baseball's image... and all of that, in one day, is pretty much shot to hell.
When he sees the tape of himself hitting his home run, and picking his kid up, that's probably not going to be a happy memory anymore. That should be beautiful. But if his name gets dragged through the mud, if his records are stricken, if the public turns on him... he'll probably never want to see it again.
Would he deserve that? Maybe. I dunno. That's not for me to say, but... I know I wouldn't wish that feeling on many people.
Nice day of basketball
Perhaps not the most exciting day of tournament history, at least on a national level... but it's the opening day of the tournament, and I watched hoops all day. What am I going to do, complain?
Game of the day: Creighton vs. West Virginia. In the closing seconds, there was a three ball attempted for the tie, a blocked shot, a textbook fastbreak, throwdown dunk with under 3 seconds on the clock, and then a missed three at the buzzer. It was really the only true nailbiter of the day. Both teams are well-coached, and both played very hard. Creighton even toes the line between playing hard and playing dirty... they'll pull jerseys, hold, grab, clutch someone's arm on the way down to the floor. But hey, if I was a coach, my team would do the same.
Upset of the day: UW-Milwaukee. I've gotta give it up for Milwaukiee. They've certainly had their share of visitors. The French missionaries and explores began visiting there in the late 16th century. Is Milwaukee an Indian name, you ask? Why yes, it is. In fact, it's pronounced "mill-e-wah-que" which is Algonquin for "the good land." Y'know, UAB probably deserves the nod here, because I felt like LSU was playing really well and was primed to make a strong run, but... I just wanted to get that Wayne's World quote in there.
Player of the day: Eh, let's go with that gay from Pacific who hit the 5 three-balls. I don't remember his name, and I'm not going to look it up. Sorry. I gotta tell ya, I think Pitt was thoroughly outcoached in this game. They just don't have much of a semblance of an offensive system, and they were 100% innefective in trying to get the ball to into the post. I don't mean to discredit Pacific, but... Pitt has way too much talent to be losing this game. I'm sorry. That's just how things are.
Teams with the biggest N-U-Ts: A few teams deserve some love here, although it's always so difficult to figure out what combination of the following is true: The underdog really is good, the favorite isn't playing well, or it's just an odd matchup for the favorite. But, that said, a few teams still deserve some love. UTC hung with Wake for a half. Winthrop played their balls off. Eastern Kentucky gave it their best shot. And Faireigh Dicksinson was fairly dickin', son. I realize that that makes no sense.
3.17.2005
Reasons to Hate
I enjoyed this. Slate.com says there are reasons to hate every team in the field of 65, and goes into detail about nine. They give reasons why you should hate teams from Duke and Syracuse to Vermont and UT-Chattanooga.
A couple of the more interesting nuggets turned up in here include that a Vegas news team actually had film of a UNLV player buying coke in the Jerry Tarkanian days, and that Gary McLain, point guard on the 1985 Villanova team that beat Goergetown for the national title, was actually high on cocaine during the Final Four, and subsequently on the team's trip the White House.
Awesome. That certainly helps to explain Villanova's nearly-perfect 2nd half. I think they missed one shot in the entire final 20 minutes of play. Probably a pretty good way to get yourself in the zone. I'm sure Gary McLain felt like he could do no wrong.
Anyway... an enjoyable little read if you've got some time this morning, and you need to work up some Duke/Kentucky/Syracuse hatred.
ESPN Town-Hall on paying college athletes
ESPN, somewhat shockingly, hosted an informative, thought-provoking, spirited discussion of a sports-related issue. Not at all shockingly, Stephen A. Smith was not involved.
It was an enjoyable couple hours of television, and it touched on a lot of issues, none of which has a clear solution. Do players deserve some paper in return for the money they make the universities? Should teams, coaches, and administrators be held responsible for graduation rates? Do graduation rates mean a damn thing?
A few points...
- Actually, before we start, let me mention this...
[In a debate over whether coaches bear responsibility for the academic performance of their players, Thompson crossed the line and became personal with Brand, the former Indiana University president.
Although Brand merely had said it was a "shared responsibility" with deans and faculty members, Thompson screamed at him: "Don't tell me what to do. I'm not Bob Knight and you're not my president. Don't you ever forget that!"]
That's awesome. ESPN cut it out of the broadcast, though. Originally, I wondered why, but after watching the program, I agree with the decision to cut it out. While I'd have absolutely loved to have seen it, it would've taken all the attention away from what was an excellent discussion.
Anyway. Other stuff...
- Colleges doesn't make a lot of money off of their athletic teams. Yes, it's true that a football team in a big conference will pull in an assload of money. But the athletic department as a whole is probably not doing that well. The football/basketball money is spread out pretty thoroughly. Very few athletic programs are actually solvent. According to Myles Brand, about 12 out of over 1,000 schools make a profit from athletics. Even if that number isn't accurate, it's still probably way less than you think.
- Athletes, in a lot of cases, have it pretty rough. For every Maurice Clarett who's rollin' around in an Escalade, there's about a hundred athletes who can't afford a twelve-pack of Natty Light. There's a lot of poor athletes out there, who are working very hard. Even if they had time to get a job, they can't. Against the rules.
- Academically... there's a lot of issues. #1, the time constraints. According to NCAA rules, players aren't supposed to spend more than 20 hours a week practicing and playing, but that's horseshit. It usually turns into a full-time job. If you've got a serious major, there just simply isn't enough time. Sheryl Swoopes told about how she had to change her major to something easier, because she didn't have the time.
- A lot of athletes at the D-1 level are just not academically prepared to be college students to begin with. It's how the system goes. If a kid can play, that's what he does. From AAU ball through high school, they're concentrating on ball and not getting the education they need. All the sudden, they turn 18, and they're supposed to do alright in a college algebra class? It doesn't work.
- And yeah, there are academic tutors, they get whatever classes they want, there are some advantages there, but... more often than not, the goal is not to get kids educated, it's to keep them eligible. Which leads to two things... 1) Schools artificially inflating their graduation rates while not producing any actual educated people, and 2) Kids who happen to not make the NBA or NFL, are absolutely fucked. No job, no education, no skills, no prospects, no one else who cares about them.
- It's easy to say it's their own fault for not getting an education while they had the chance, but... that's a little short-sighted. A lot of other things went into it.
Solutions to think about:
- Academic scholarships should outlast athletic eligibility. If Joe Fullback finishes his senior season, and doesn't have a degree, a decent job, or any professional football prospects, he should have the option of another couple of years to get his degree taken care of. Athletes deserve a little bit of protection from a system that doesn't really care how much they actually learn.
- The athletes who come in, and aren't academically prepared... I don't know what you do about that. If you say they can't go to college at all, that's going to leave a lot of kids without options, other than the longshot of making it in the NBA. I don't have a good solution for this one. I don't know that there is one.
- As far as paying the athletes... I'm still saying no. At least not everyone. A lot of guys don't need it. If someone's scoring touchdowns for a big program, let's not kid ourselves, he's going to get taken care of somehow. But the backup left tackle, who works just as hard, or the girl on the rowing team, who works just as hard... there should be something available based on need. The athletes give a lot of time and energy to the university, in many cases, to provide an entertaining product for the public. Yeah, they scholarship gives them the basics, keeps them living day-to-day, in return for working their asses off... but I don't think it's fair to restrict them to that.
Damon Stoudamire innocent
Well, kinda. A court ruled that the search that turned up over a pound of marijuana in his attic was illegal. I dunno if that's the same thing as "innocent." That's more like "getting away with it."
A pound of marijuana? Who is he, Pablo Escobar? Do you know how long a pound of marijuana should last one person? This is a one pound bag. Either Damon smokes a completely absurd amount of weed, or he really needs to rethink how much he keeps around the house. Of course, the original arrest was a while ago, and he says he's clean now.
Having that much is a felony. Which means, basically, that Damon Stoudamire is a technicality away from doing hard time in a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.
Comedy Movie March Madness
I enjoyed filling this out. MSNBC put together a bracket of 64, pitting comedy movies against each other. There's 4 brackets... the Broad, the SNL Alumni, the Smart, and the Classic. There's probably only 10-15 movies in this whole thing that I haven't seen, and most of those are in the Classic bracket. This is a tremendous way to waste some time... I'd be interested in hearing some of your Final Fours.
My Final Four came down to The Big Lebowski, Beverly Hills Cop, Bull Durham, and Blazing Saddles. Blazing Saddles certainly isn't in my Top 4, but the Classic bracket is a weak one for me. The upper half of the Smart bracket is loaded. Dazed and Confused, Bull Durham, Swingers, Best in Show, and Harry Met Sally... all in an 8-team pod. That's brutal. Dazed and Confused and Swingers had to bow out in the 2nd round. That's a damn crime. Old School and Tommy Boy had to square off in Round 1, too, in the SNL bracket. Also brutal.
So I'm stuck at Bull Durham vs. The Big Lebowski in the Finals. I still haven't made my choice. It's like asking me to choose between my parents. I really don't think either movie has a weakness. I guess I'm going with Bull Durham, just because it goes back a little longer with me. It's got some history.
3.16.2005
What the hell is wrong with Stacey Augmon?
Two recent seperate Stacey Augmon incidents:
Incident #1: Augmon was sitting next to Steve Francis, who was being interviewed by a local Florida reporter. The reporter asked Francis if he thought the wheels were coming off the Magic's season. A legitimate question, considering the Magic had lost four in a row, and they currently display about as much cohesiveness as does the Jackson 5.
Anyway, Augmon overheard, and said, "That's a stupid fucking question." The reporter ignored him, and Augmon yelled, "THAT'S A STUPID FUCKING QUESTION." The reporter told Augmon that he wasn't talking to him. Augmon got up and started screaming obscenities. The reporter tried to walk away, and Augmon grabbed a bottle of lotion and threw it at him, squirting him and other reporters.
Incident #2: A local female reporter was interviewing Jameer Nelson in the locker room. So she could get a microphone in front of him and not obstruct the camera view, the reporter was on her knees. Augmon thought it would be cool to make some lewd blowjob comment to her.
And all of this happened, mind you, while Stacey Augmon is currently refusing to speak to the media. Maybe that policy was a good idea... I dunno. He's really got a funny way of not speaking to someone.
I'm just wondering... when Augmon decided to enact his policy of not speaking to the media... how did anyone know? I doubt anyone was really clammoring to talk to him about his massive 2.6 points per game. It's about the equivalent of me deciding tomorrow that I'm no longer going to host orgies attended by only myself and the USC cheerleaders. Not a whole lot of lives are going to be affected by my decision.
If it's true that he made some sexual comments to a female reporter... that's inexcusable. The Magic should cut his ass, and David Stern should impose a 10-game suspension in the case that some other organization decides to claim him and his Andrew Dice Clay-ish views on sex and gender.
Hockey to experiment with blue ice
Awesome. So it'll look a little bit more like NHL '95. The Rochester SomethingOrOthers of the AHL are experimenting with a light blue ice surface, with fluorescent orange "blue lines" and orange face-off circles. The red line is now dark blue.
Hey, it works for Boise State's football team, so why not. The players seemed to like it, and it reduced the glare that usually reflects off the white ice surface. What the hell, it's worth a shot. Anything that gets even one dude out there to even consider watching hockey a little bit more, the NHL is going to need. Maybe they should let the 5,000th fan into the building that night pick the ice color.
"I find after watching a hockey game for hours that my eyes hurt," Larry Quinn, the Sabres' managing partner told The Buffalo News (me too, Larry, but probably for different reasons). "I think the glare from the (painted) white ice causes eye fatigue. I think there's a feeling we want to modernize the game. I think there's definitely some fresh air in the league. I think people are open to innovation. I think there's a sense of a new era."
"We'll try anything," added Quinn. "Except, you know... actually playing the fucking game."
No players. Blue ice. A bold vision for the future of hockey.
Notre Dame fails to make a case for inclusion
Well, that's an interesting way to prove to the committee that you belonged in the NCAA. Losing to Holy Cross on your home floor probably isn't the best way to make that point.
Holy Cross, which rubbed salt in the wound by engaging in gay fondling on the court after they won, moves on to... I dunno. Play some other NIT team next, I guess.
Senior point guard Chris Thomas wasn't thrilled with the turnout for the game. "Jordan and I gave everything we had to Notre Dame. To get 5,000 fans for our last game, we didn't want that and we didn't deserve that,'' he said. "What's there to do in South Bend on a Tuesday night?"
I dunno... watch Rudy again? Take comfort in the fact that even though your basketball team got worked by a team wearing purple from the Patriot league, your football team will still get a bowl bid it didn't earn next year? I'm sure there's gotta be something.
But really, I think Chris Thomas has a point. Notre Dame's a good team, and if their fans are going to support them when things are going their way, they should stick with them even if they don't get into the big tournament. A game is a game, and if the players deserved your support last week, they still deserve it this week. 5,000 is pretty weak, Irish fans.
3.15.2005
Arkansas declines NIT invitation
"We haven't been playing well," Coach Stan Heath said. "I'm not pleased with our cohesiveness or our sense of urgency. We have things we need to get fixed. We've lost five of six. I have the utmost respect for the NIT, but we're not playing well."
"As I look at how we closed the season, I can see in my team's eyes, we are emotionally and physically tired," Heath said. "That does not translate well for a team that should be going into postseason."
What is that? You're too tired? You're not playing well? Of course you're not playing well, that's why you're in the NIT. And 18-to-20 year old guys don't get too tired to play basketball. That is bullshit.
What is it that you need to get fixed? Does the team need to work on their 2-2-1 press, to get ready for the Sit At Home On Your Ass Invitational? You need to get the team rested up for the Jerk Off While Watching Everyone Else Play Basketball Tournament? You need practice and rest, for what exactly?
Odd that players voted on Thursday to accept the bid, but then met with coach Stan Heath on Friday and they agreed to decline the bid. Did the coach talk them out of it?
I don't understand. Basketball teams like to play basketball. If a team wants to quit, it's a coach's job to convince them to keep working at it. It is not the job of a coach to get the team to quit if they want to keep playing. It doesn't make any sense to me. Instead of teaching them to just quit when things get difficult, why not let them try to earn a trip to New York for the NIT Final Four?
Bracket Beefs
Who's got legitimate beefs:
Syracuse. A 4 seed for the Big East champs? That seems a little low, especially when the team they beat for the title got a 2. On the upside, though, I think everyone is completely overrating the Austin bracket. Duke's a weak 1-seed, Kentucky could be the weakest 2-seed, so the 4-spot in that regional isn't that bad of a place to be.
Pitt. Fell all the way to a 9-seed. I didn't see that coming. Now Pacific has to find a way to deal with Chris Taft, Carl Krauser, and the beast that is Chevy Troutman. One of the more interesting first-round games.
Who doesn't:
Maryland. Said Maryland coach Gary Williams, "In the end, 16 victories wasn't enough to get it done. You have to win games. The one thing I get out of this is you have to get a certain number of wins." Really, Gary... and 16 isn't the number they're looking for? The committee is looking for teams that actually bothered to win their games? Those daft bastards. The committee isn't looking for 16-win teams that Clemson used like a humping post? It seems so unfair.
Wake Forest. I think 2 is the right spot for them. NC State trounced them, and they deserve to pay for that. I know they were without Chris Paul, but that doesn't mean the loss didn't happen. Recent performance counts during seeding, and punching someone in the balls falls under that umbrella.
Boston College. Al Skinner is a woman, crying on television that BC didn't get a better seed because no one was giving them any respect in pre-season polls. Please. If you want better than a 4-seed, try not losing 4 of your last 8 games, and then getting dickwhipped in the Big East Tournament. Bitch.
People hating on Washington. I think they played their way into a 1-seed. While everyone else was faltering down the stretch, Washington won the games they had to. If Wake wanted it, they should've beat NC State. If Kentucky wanted it, they shouldn't have gotten pasted by Florida. I don't think Washington is one of the four best teams in the nation, but they played well at the right time, and Nate Robinson is the kind of player that usually has a lot of success in the tournament, so we'll see.
Larry Brown has surgery
A recent conversation between Larry Brown and his doctor...
Larry Brown: Doc, what does it mean, um... when fire shoot out your dick?
Doctor: Let me get this right, you're getting a burning sensation when you urinate?
Larry Brown: No, fire shoot out my dick. A burst of flame fly out my dick when I pee. I can't even pee in the house no more, I'll burn the house down, I got to go outside and pee. A dude tried to mug me on the street, I turned around and burned him on the street. My dick is a blowtorch, is what I'm tryin' to say.
Larry Brown had successful wang surgery to correct a urinary problem commonly associated with the hip procedure he had earlier in the year. All is well.
Strahan told to stay away from his wife
I didn't know Strahan was Iking his wife (Definition: Iking; to Ike: verb. To abuse a spouse or significant other, verbally or physically. Word origin: The immortal Ike Turner.) Did I miss a news item somewhere along the way? I must have... Mrs. Strahan was able to get a restraining order against him.
If Michael Strahan wants to abuse someone, he should start with his dentist. With all the money Strahan's made, he can't get that gap fixed? The man could eat an apple through a chain-link fence.
He could also maybe try physically abusing Brett Favre. Y'know, make some actual physical contact with him... something that never happened on the sack that gave (and I emphasize the word "gave") Strahan the sack record.
Top 100 sports movie quotes
It's not that bad a list that ESPN.com's Page 3 put together. Chances are, I'd have probably had some issues with any list anyone put together. There's way too much Ace Ventura on this list, for example. Seabiscuit quotes appear on the list, as apparently someone has mistaken horse racing for a sport. I love Dodgeball, but I don't think of it as a sports movie. I don't think it belongs. There's a lot of Rocky quotes, but... they're the wrong ones. Clubber Lang saying "Dead meat" is on there, but this isn't:
"Come on, Adrian, it's true. I was nobody. But that don't matter either, y'know? 'Cuz I was thinkin', it really don't matter if I lose this fight. It really don't matter if this guy opens my head, either. 'Cuz all I wanna do is go the distance. Nobody's ever gone the distance with Creed, and if I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood."
Or this...
Rocky: Hey... you know how I said that stuff on TV didn't bother me none?
Adrian: Yeah?
Rocky: It did.
Rocky's just too good of a movie to be using quotes from Mr. T. and nothing poignant from the original. That's how I feel about it.
But like I said, no list was going to be perfect. It's really a huge task, trying to assemble the Top 100 movie quotes. I could go on all day about additions and subtractions I'd like to see. Perhaps you have some of your own...
3.11.2005
Dickie's V field of 65
Apparently, Dick Vitale believes there are three ways a team can get into the tournament:
1) Win your conference tournament.
2) Receive an at-large bid.
3) Be in the ACC.
The fucking guy has 7 teams in the ACC getting in the tournament. SEVEN. I think five is a fucking stretch. Any ACC team that actually showed up for all of their games, and didn't immediately urinate all over themselves after tip-off, apparently qualifies.
These teams just do not have very good resumes. I'm sorry, but Georgia Tech with 17 wins, and a .500 record in the conference, and their best non-conference win being against Air Force... probably shouldn't go. Their win against Wake was about their only good win of the season.
Maryland choked like Greg Norman today. 16 wins total, 7-9 conference record. How is that tournament worthy? How? NC State has 18 wins, and is also sub-.500 in the conference. Virginia Tech has 15 wins, and is .500 in the conference.
I just don't understand. Everyone in the ACC lives off the success and reputation of UNC and Duke. It's all reputation, and Dick Vitale is the lead dick-rider of the ACC.
Mike Tice... Doofus.
Now, I don't think Mike Tice is a bad guy for scalping Super Bowl tickets. It's a victimless crime, and I really don't give a fuck. But it's just kinda dumb.
He's the head coach of an NFL team. He's got to be well aware that running a ticket-scalping ring is something that the NFL would frown on. Is it worth it? A few extra grand... for what? I know he's not one of the higher-paid coaches in the league, but he's not starving. There's food for the family, there's gas in the car, the hot tub is well-heated. Why get involved in something like this?
I don't imagine Paul Tagliabue or Red McCombs are thrilled about these developments. It's maybe not the smartest move for a coach who's head is about this far from the chopping block to begin with. You know McCombs is embarrassed, and Paul Tagliabue is going to hit him with a big-ass fine. And the money he made from the tickets isn't going to be enough to pay for it.
By the way, you know how he's going to pay? Straight cash, homey.
Patrick Ewing, Dikembe Mutombo, and Yao Ming walk into a restaurant...
...and this is what happens.
A couple of snippets.
EWING: What kind of food do they serve here?
MUTOMBO: Chinese.
EWING: I know Chinese. But what kind of Chinese? Snake? 'Cuz I don't eat snake.
EWING: How many languages do you speak, seven?
MUTOMBO: I speak Ebonics now, so eight. Yao, do you speak Ebonics? [Yao shrugs.]
EWING: [To Mutombo] Can you pass me that beef?
MUTOMBO: Sure. [Before passing it, Mutombo takes his own spoon and scoops four pieces onto his plate.]
EWING: Man, I don't want that now. You put your spoon in the plate. [Ewing nonetheless takes the plate from Mutombo.] Jeez, man.
MUTOMBO: Oh, come on. I didn't even touch the beef on your side of the plate. You can eat that. [Ewing reluctantly scoops three pieces onto his plate. He doesn't say a word.]
Well worth checking out.
CBS tweaking their Selection Sunday show
Gone is all the masturbation before actually unveiling the brackets... thankfully. That's something that's always angered me. Also gone are pointless interviews with coaches, which is another good thing. The downside is that it results in more airtime for Jim Nantz, who is apparently hired for his expert college basketball opinion.
"Since Billy and Jim have such strong opinions and great perspectives, their thoughts will be heard after every bracket is revealed," CBS Sports President Sean McManus said. "We want to give as much time as we can for our analysts to break down the seedings."
I didn't know Jim Nantz was an analyst. I dunno. Maybe I'm nitpicking.
Other notes in here: Monday Night Football, it seems, will probably be leaving ABC. ABC loses money on the deal, and likely won't be willing to fork over the kind of kind of cheddar necessary to keep MNF. It's likely new home will be ESPN, so... not a lot will change about the coverage, in all likelyhood.
Also, Dick Vitale had hernia surgery, and I wish him a speedy recovery. Seriously... I hope he's feeling well soon, in case Mike Krzyzewski needs a handjob sometime soon.
Alright, sorry... that was uncalled for. Get well, Dick Vitale.
You gotta represent.
As you may now, themightymjd.com is currently beefing with the Airing of Grievances.
You gotta choose sides. And if you wanna roll with me, if you wanna be down with MJD-Unit... you've got to rock one of these.
3.10.2005
Rodney Harrison wants to ref
Well, that's an interesting career choice. It seems kinda like Terrell Owens doing a lecture series on tactful touchdown celebrations, but hey... who am I to judge. If the NFL's all-time most-fined player wants to be a ref, well... he should know what to look for back there.
My concern is that he would never ever call a penalty. Unless someone gets paralyzed, Mike Utley-style, Rodney Harrison probably won't see anything wrong with it. A wide receiver's complaints would be fruitless.
"Ref, he's bumping me after 5 yards." Play through it. "Ref, the DB just elbowed me in the throat." Play through it. "Ref, the DB actually, right now as you're watching this, has me in the Camel Clutch." Play through it. "Ref, the DB is sitting back there with a chainsaw. He is putting gas in it and oiling the blade. If you don't call a penalty now, he will literally saw me in half." Alright, fine. Five yards.
Congress subpoenas some baseball players
As a sports fan, I find it the topic somewhat interesting, even though I don't care much about baseball. It'll be interesting to see what they ask them, and how they respond under oath. But...
Is it necessary? Why does Congress care so much? I mean, crack's been destroying black communities forever, and Congress is sweating steroids in baseball? I guess baseball is very close to the hearts of wealthy, old, white people. I wish Jose Canseco would write a book about crack.
And chances are, nothing much interesting will come out. Anyone who's previously denied using steroids probably isn't going to recant their story and admit to it before Congress, but ya never know. Hopefully, Mark McGwire somehow ends up crying and pulling up his shirt to show everyone his track marks.
50, The Game, settle their differences
Reunited, and it feels so good...
Reunited, 'cause we understood.
It's not every day that you get Peaches & Herb and The Game in the same blog item. But that's what we're all about here at themightymjd.com. Bringing people together.
On the anniversary of B.I.G.'s death, 50 Cent and The Game got together and hashed things out. They went to a press conference, donated over 200 Gs to charity, and decided that peace was a better option.
Lest you think, however, that 50 has grown as a person and said to himself, "I'm just getting too fucking old for this," he apparently has no intentions of settling things with Nas, Fat Joe, or Jadakiss, though. He's just begging them to respond to him, in fact, he's already got his responses to their anticipated responses recorded. Which is fine, I guess, these feuds will probably be kept to words... with The Game, it kinda seemed like someone could've gotten shot.
I'm thinking about starting a beef with some other blog. On some random day, I'm just going to post a blog item that says, "Yo, those bitches at The Airing of Grievances don't want it with MJD.
Jack on golf's trend towards power
"It's absurd," Nicklaus said. "It doesn't make any difference where you hit it anymore. You just hit it as far as you can. They're hitting it so close to the green, they can't put enough rough out there to make any difference. We'll just have to change every golf course to about 8,500 yards," he said half-jokingly. "Is the game about how far you can hit it? I think the game is about shotmaking and how you're able to get the ball in the hole."
I like a lot of what Jack has to say, but... it's a tough problem to solve. I hate to see courses like Augusta National becoming longer and longer. I guess it provides a better challenge for guys like Tiger and Phil, but the shorter players are just screwed. Not everyone can reach 510-yard par-4s in two strokes. Not everyone would look at a 230-yard par-3, and wonder which iron to pull out.
Nicklaus has long been a proponent of a standardized ball, but acknowledges that it can't happen. Too many companies have too much to lose.
Here's my idea: Just stop some of the fairways at like 260 yards. From the tee to 260, it's a normally-sized fairway. From 260 to the green, on a par-4, it's nasty rough, sand, water, a crocodile pit, or a caged Ron Artest. It doesn't have to be every hole, it can be longer on some holes than others... because power is a part of the game. But it shouldn't be everything.
3.09.2005
Coach Accused of Licking Player's Cuts
This is... well, this is unsanitary. That's what this is.
Unreal. The headline there is not misleading. A high school football coached licked a bloody cut on the knee of one of his players. He actually applied his tongue to the bloody cut.
What... the... fuck.
Here's the story: The coach was giving his team a pep-talk about licking their wounds, and getting back into the game. Some guys on the team told the coach he should lick someone's wound. There was a player who had a bleeding scab on his knee. The coach asked permission... and then he licked it. The guy wasn't offended, and the team laughed.
No harm, no foul... but... you can't just lick people. I'm sorry. I'm not saying he's a bad guy, I'm not saying he should be fired... but one of the basic fundamental rules between players and coaches has to be that licking bodily fluids of any kind is not allowed.
At some point, shouldn't the thought run through his head, "Hey... I'm about to lick a player's open wound. That's a litle creepy." I firmly believe that licking bloody wounds should be frowned upon in the realm of high school coaching. I am not flexible on this issue.
County Sherrif Dave Burright had a great quote on the situation. "Sometimes there are actions that are socially unacceptable or bizarre that aren't necessarily criminal." Indeed, sherrif.
The school district put him on probation and required him to take a "bloodborne pathogens" course.
Real wrestling is coming to TV
Tremendous news for all of our gay readers. Real, olympic-style wrestling is coming to a television near you. That's right... big, muscular men are going to be on Fox Sports, and on Pax TV, oilin' it up, and gettin' it on.
RPW (Real Pro Wrestling) will feature a number of teams from different areas, including the Oklahoma Slam, Pennsylvania Hammer, and Iowa Stalkers.
I'd be a little uncomfortable going up against that Iowa Stalkers. Not only do they paw you up, manhandle you, and attempt to stuff their head into your grundle, but then they follow you around and make harassing phone calls to your home afterwards. It's terrible.
Other teams include the South Carolina Sweaty Thighs, the Minnesota Ass-Beef, and the Tri-Cities Taint Squeezers.
Alright, I'm sorry. I respect wrestlers... it's a legitimate sport. In fact, it may be the manliest of sports. It's technique, it's strength, it's man-to-man, let's just get after it, and see who's better. But I'm sorry, you can't put on a singlet, and spend a few minutes rolling around a mat with another dude, trying to shove your hand up his ass crack and expect me not to imply some homoeroticism. That's just not realistic.
Romanowski cries on the stand
Bill Romanowski was on the witness stand today, amid accusations that be drilled Marcus Williams in the face, broke his eye socket and and ended his career.
Romo talked about him self as a "family man" who plays a "violent, violent game." He nearly broke down to tears.
Boo. Fucking. Hoo.
A lot of guys have families, and a lot of guys play this violent game. But they manage to attend practice every day and not assault people. They also manage to not utter racial slurs, spit on people, kick anyone in the head, and carry around tackle boxes full of steroi - er, sorry... supplements.
Williams is seeking millions in damages, and it doesn't sound like Romanowski has any kind of a defense here... of course, that didn't keep Rick Neuheisel from getting paid.
I hope this punk motherfucker has to pay.
Rod Gardner a hotter property than Plaxico?
Lenny P. is reporting that the Redkins want to trade Rod Gardner, and that there's more interest in him around the league than there is for Plaxico Burress.
Why? What am I missing here? Am I overrating Plax, because I watch him every week, or am I right that he's distinguished himself a little bit more than Rod Gardner?
I'm not hating on Rod Gardner... I'm sure a lot of the reason for his lack of production is the gang of circus freaks and carnies that makes up the Washington Redskins front office, coaching staff, and players. He's got talent. But he's never been able to put it all in motion.
Anyway, Washington is apparently going to dump Gardner to the first team who'll cough up a middle-round draft pick. Which apparently means that they intend to draft Mike Williams, which would just makes me sad. I was hoping he'd slip to the Chargers at 12.
ESPN hires Scoop Jackson
You probably have never heard of Scoop Jackson, but I think you're going to like him. I was a little shocked to see his picture on ESPN.com today.
One, because he's an outstanding writer, and really knows the NBA. I mean, really knows it. ESPN tends to avoid guys like that.
I'm familiar with his work from SLAM Magazine... which is the other reason it was surprising. The SLAM people love to take shots at and ridicule ESPN. Which is fine, in fact, it's outstanding... it's just a little sad to see one of the SLAM posse now writing for an audience that'll certainly be bigger, but probably less appreciative.
Ultimately, I end up being able to read more Scoop Jackson, which I'm happy about. Today, he writes an intro column, telling the people what he believes in, Crash Davis style... Here's some snippets, most, but not all, of which I loved:
I believe most athletes cheat on their wives and girlfriends.
I believe owners cheat more.
I believe that steroids can't make you hit .370 ... twice!
I believe Muhammad Ali is more significant than Jackie Robinson.
I believe white men can jump, they just choose to pay others to do it for them.
I believe if T.O. was white, he'd be a national hero.
I believe you should not have to stand for the national anthem if you do not want to.
I believe every time you hear "first black" in sports, it's an affirmation that racism in sports still exists.
I believe, in the words of Ice Cube, I'll be the n----- you'll love to hate.
...and there's tons more.
3.08.2005
The all-time Final Four
One semifinal pits Antoine Walker's 1996 Kentucky Wildcats against Christian Laettner and Bobby Hurley's 1992 Duke Blue Devils. The other semifinal sees the dominant 1990 UNLV team against the 2001 Blue Devils of Battier, Dunleavy, Williams and Boozer.
Apparently, this little fantasy tournament has been going on for a while. They started with 20 teams, and now it's down to 4. Winners were determined by three votes, one from Bob Ryan, one from Mike Lopresti, and one from the fans.
The 1990 Runnin' Rebs are clearly the team here. Larry Johnson, Stacy Augmon, Anderson Hunt, Greg Anthony... those boys were not to fucked with. They beat Duke by something like 30 in the championship game, and it wasn't as close as the score might indicate. The poor Duke team seemed like children out there. They never had a chance.
I really wish it was possible to for the 1990 Rebs to play the 1992 Dukies. Instead off us all remembering Christian Laettner hitting that turnaround jumper against Kentucky and running around the court like a child pretending he's an airplane, we'd have an image of him sitting on the sidelines, looking up at the scoreboard in tears, with a look on his face like he'd just been raped by a jackhammer.
Dude, you're gettin' a Dell. Then you're getting cuffed.
This is awesome. Larry Lee Ned, a running back who had just been picked up off of waivers by the Cardinals, was on his way to report to the team. He caught a flight to Phoenix, and while at the airport, he managed to take Barry Switzer's "Dumbest Thing Ever Done at an Airport by an NFL Employee" title.
Larry Lee walked through a security checkpoint. He went through the detector, and saw someone else's Dell laptop sitting at the end of the scanner. Larry Lee picked it up and bolted.
Then, of course, he went and hid in the men's bathroom. That's where police found him. That's when he felt the handcuffs go on. And shortly after, the Cardinals released him.
I'd imagine that was tough for the Cards GM to explain to Denny Green the next day. Denny's trying to set up a depth chart and he asks, "Hey, where's that new running back we signed?" And the GM has to tell him that he was found hiding in an airport shitter after lifting someone's laptop. I'd have loved to hear that conversation.
Neuheisel settles lawsuit; gets paid
"I feel fully vindicated," Neuheisel said outside the courtroom. "Obviously they're going to have their stories, too, but I feel like this is the best scenario. Nobody's nose gets bloodied."
Imagine that, Rick Neuheisel is content with getting a $4.7 million settlement.
Neuheisel was fired for gambling on college athletics, and had filed the suit for wrongful termination. The judge was considering declaring a mistrial because the NCAA people didn't give Neuheisel's people an updated copy of their bylaws. Apparently, they didn't wanna hand over the bylaws, because they somehow bolster Neuheisel's argument that investigators were supposed to tell him ahead of time that they planned to question him about his gambling.
So, they didn't give him the bylaws, and they didn't warn him ahead of time that they had a problem with his gambling... so they give him $4.7 million. Sure, that sounds about right. What if the investigator flicked a booger on Neuheisel's desk? What's that worth, a full billion?
Rick Neuheisel must have a hell of a lawyer. That's the only thing I can think of. No lawyer has performed that well since Vincent LaGuardia Gambini got Ralph Macchio off of those murder chargers in Alabama. Unbelievable.
Peter Vecsey, not a Stephen A. Smith fan
Vecsey, on Stephen A.:
"The same 'journalist' infamous for shoplifting reports from other members of the press since breaking and entering into the business and using them, accurate or inaccurate, as his own. Getting caught in the shameless act of stealing the 76ers' release of the Chris Webber trade and promoting it as coming from sources was long overdue and much celebrated within the profession.
People have walked the plank, been suspended or otherwise punished for similar unethical indiscretions. ESPN rewards such conduct, furnishing Stephan Anal with even more hot air to pass out fountains of misinformation. Evidently the Philadelphia Inquirer seconds that policy."
And that's not even the worst of it. By comparison, Vecsey makes me look like the president of the Stephen A. Smith fan club.
Vecsey also has a note about Jim Gray, who received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame last week. I saw the footage of that on ESPN during a basketball game, and I was baffled. How the fuck did Jim Gray get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame? It was right next to Britney Spears' star. Jim Gray? Really? Who else got one, Sal Masekela? Did Mike Breen get one? Is Bill Pidto next on the list?
As it turns out... you can just buy a star. That's right... Jim Gray bought himself a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame for $15,000. That's just sad. That's really, really sad. I feel like sending Jim Gray a sympathy card that says, "Man, I'm really sorry you're such an insecure, attention-starved glory whore. I hope your recovery goes well."
Ford Fiesta. NASCAR goes deeper South.
An interesting little column from Slate.com written by a Nascar TV producer about Nascar's venture south of the border. I guess there was a Busch Series race in Mexico City this past weekend, and none of the driver people were too thrilled about it.
Some interesting notes...
- Stories spread among drivers and crews that semis carrying race cars were being stopped at the border, and that evil Mexicans had infiltrated hotels and knew what rooms drivers and owners were staying in. None of these things were true, of course, and I'm sure it had nothing to do with Nascar drivers being the stereotyping type.
- The course they were to race on was not a big oval track, but a road course. A lot of drivers weren't able to finish the race, because they couldn't handle turning right. Seriously. That's not even a joke.
- Many Nascar people were impressed with the Mexican females at the race, but none of them had much success with them. Says the article: "We sent some beers over, and they looked at us like they'da preferred to drink motor oil," went a typical complaint.
3.07.2005
Throwin' them bows...
Brand new one for ya. More information follows on your immediate right...
Phil and Tiger get it on
Alright. The 2005 golf season has officially begun, and the rest of the year has a lot to live up to.
Tiger and Phil paired together on a Sunday... what more could you ask for? And it was everything it should've been, and the better man won. Tiger caught him from 2 strokes down at the end of the day.
It was just like old times. Tiger making a clutch putt on 17 to take the lead, Phil just barely missing on 18 to tie him. My concern is that this could set a poor tone for Phil for the rest of the year. Beating Ernie Els to win The Masters is one thing, staring Tiger down on a Sunday is quite another. I hope Phil isn't mindfucked.
But man, this could be an incredible golf season. Tiger's playing well. Phil is playing well. Vijay's playing well. Ernie's playing well. Retief Goosen, when he isn't getting shitfaced on the Grey Goose and missing tee-times, is playing well.
Those are the five heavyweights. If two or three of them are in contention at every major, and that's definitely possible, it'll be an amazing year for golf.
Someone's Going to Die
We discussed the 50 Cent/Game beef last week, and it's escalated a bit since then. The Game took the stage the other night, and yelled out to 50, "Come get me, you little bitch!"
I'm not from the streets, so I don't know for sure, but... I think that means someone's got to get shot.
The Game had this to say about the incident that ended up with one of his boys getting shot last week:
"He was on the radio hating me. I was outside with my n----s. Rolled up to the station. They didn't want to let us in," he told the crowd. "[50 Cent's] security hit my boy, Peanut. They'll be cowards forever. They envy me."
Goodness gracious. Sadly, this is real. Neither of these guys is playing. And someone else probably will end up getting hurt or killed over this, though it probably won't be either 50 or Game.
50 tries pretty hard on his new record (review coming later this week) to start some issues with Nas, Fat Joe, and Jadakiss, but he ends up getting into it with someone he was supposed to be helping. It just seems like he wants to alienate everyone. I dunno. He was even unhappy with Dre for spending too much time on The Game's album, and not enough on 50's new one.
Just try to keep it to words, fellas. Call each other bitches all you want, but just try to keep guns out of it.
3.04.2005
$3.5 billion for the entire NHL? Take it and run.
That seems like a bit of an excessive price for a bunch of guys who effectively do nothing. I mean, if someone offered me a few hundred unemployed white people who refuse to skate, along with a bunch of hockey sticks, zambonis and uniforms, I'd give maybe $8. And even then, I'd probably feel like I spent too much. Maybe I could get Martin Brodeur to wash my car or something.
Exactly how would this work? How is one group of people going to own every NHL team? Would they just hire 30 of their friends to run each of the franchises? If that's how it would work, I'd like to fill out an application to run a team. Here's a concise version of my ownership vision: All brothers.
I realize that there's only 3 or 4 black people in the world that have even heard of hockey, so... yeah, we'll have our growing pains. But as long as fighting is legal, we'll at least be an entertaining team.
Anyway, I guess the chances of this happening are remote. But at least someone is trying to do something.
Replacing Randy
Plaxico Burress could be on his way to Minnesota to fill the sizable hair net of Randy Moss. The Vikings really couldn't do much better in the way of finding a replacement. Plax isn't Moss, certainly, but he can have his moments of domination.
Of course, it's probably easier to do that in Pittsburgh with Hines Ward busting heads on the other side of the field. As talented as Plax is, asking him to be the only good receiver on a team might be a little much to ask. I don't know if he's ready to step into the role of #1 receiver, particularly on a team that's been so depending on the passing game. Nate Burleson, Kelly Campbell and Marcus Robinson aren't going to be finding themselves quite as open as they have in the past.
But still, I think the Vikings have to make this move. I don't think they can go into the season with Burleson and Campbell as their starting wideouts. I don't see that working.
Conference tournaments: Do they make sense?
I think this guy makes a good point, and it's something I've wondered about before... College basketball's conference tournaments are somewhat goofy, especially for smaller conferences.
There are some conferences out there that just aren't going to get more than one NCAA tournament birth, and rightfully so. So the best team in that conference, even if they've dominated all year, can lose a fluke game, and get the shaft while some 8-18 team in a terrible conference gets to the dance. It just doesn't benefit the conference.
And in addition to that, if some mid-level team in a big conference that otherwise wouldn't have a shot to get to the tournament happens to catch fire and win their conference tournament, it'll likely give another bid to the big conference, which comes at the expense of the little guy.
But I guess conference tournaments make for good TV, which is why they exist. It's just too bad that they open up so much potential for the shafting of deserving teams.
Coles/Moss swap could be back on
It's happening, it's not happening, now it might be happening again... do you care? If they just traded uniforms, would anyone really notice? They're around the same size, they're close in age... Even big Redskins and Jets fans, if Laveraneus and Santana just pulled the old switcheroo and swapped jerseys, I don't think they'd notice. Joe Gibbs and Herman Edwards might not notice.
3.03.2005
Cheeks Squeezed
I'm reminded of the scene in Casino where Nicky has Tony Dogs' head in a vice. Right before he gives the order to kill him, he says, "Frankie, do him a fuckin' favor."
Well, the Blazers have had Maurice Cheeks' head in a vice for a long time now, and today, they did him a fuckin' favor. He's been fired. I'd imagine that he's celebrating wildly this evening.
With everything he's had to deal with during his tenure as coach... you've gotta feel for him. He's dealt with an extremely immature group of people. But he also managed to come up with one of the coolest moments in NBA history, when he helped that nervous girl get through the national anthem.
How could anyone root against Mo Cheeks after that? From that point on, everytime some idiot Trailblazer cried about playing time, acted up in a team meeting, got arrested with weed, or showed a cop a basketball card for ID... you had to feel for Maurice Cheeks. He's been set free. And I doubt he'll be unemployed for too long.
NFL Free Agency
Anyone else find it odd that Derrick Mason was snatched up in a heartbeat, but that Plaxico Burress hasn't even made a visit anywhere yet?
Mason's the man, don't get me wrong. But he's also 31, and doesn't have the physical attributes, upside, or miles left in the tank that Plax does. And I think Plax has proved that he's a team guy over the past couple of years... strange. But the market out there for him seems to be slow. Someone will eventually snatch him up, and he'll get paid, it just seems a little unusual to me that Mason was a hotter commodity.
The Raiders are also on the verge of giving LaMont Jordan a five-year deal with $27.5 million. NFL contracts get inflated, yes, but $15.7 million of that is guaranteed. For contrast, and I'm not comparing the two players, but Correll Buckhalter got a $200,000 bonus for resigning with the Eagles. Does $15.7 mil seem excessive for a guy who's never really proved that he can carry the load as a full-time starter? The Jets apparently are convinced that he can't... otherwise, why keep the rapidly-aging Curtis Martin instead of the 24-year-old LaMont?
Other little thingies: The Patriots cut Troy Brown, despite the fact that he went to the trouble of learning to play two positions to save the team's ass. The Vikings signed massive defensive tackle Pat Williams away from Buffalo, an underrated signing that should go a long way to shoring up the Vikings run D.
Chaney's future still undecided
Two things from this article worth pointing out:
Chris Paul of Wake Forest has been fouled a lot this season, and many of those fouls have been very hard. Said Paul, "You've just got to play and pray to God you don't get hurt."
He mentioned a specific incident at Virginia, where someone pushed him from behind and knocked him down. And I never mentioned it, but Coach K, the lilly-white poster boy for all that is good and wholesome himself, did something similar to what Chaney did. He started a walk-on against Wake Forest, and he got rough with Chris Paul. Knocked him around, and took two fouls in the first minute.
Did Krzyzewski tell him to foul him? Did he tell him to get rough? We'll never know... and even if he never said it out loud, it had to be implied. The walk-on knew he wasn't put in there for his talent. He was put in there to send a message.
On the same scale as what Chaney did? Probably not, but... it's not far off.
Billy Packer, who's growing on me, had this to say:
"In any contact sport, not only from coaching and playing standpoint, protecting your turf has always been in place," Packer said. "But never before has the tactic been used where a coach talked about it in advance, carried it out and then was brutally honest about it. ... Nobody, to my knowledge, has been brutally honest about employing the tactic."
That's the difference between that Chaney did and what other guys have done/currently do: The honesty.
Bubble Watch
I know I harp on this, and you probably get tired of hearing it, but... that's not going to stop me from doing it again.
ESPN.com's Bubble Watch lists three bubble teams from the ACC, and three from the Big East. Of the three in the ACC, two have won 16 games, and one was won 17. They all have sub .500 conference records. In the Big East, one team's won 17 games, one team's won 18, and one has won 16. And they all have winning records in the conference, which, I think it's vital to point out, is a much deeper conference, with a much more grueling conference schedule.
It just pisses me off. Thanks for being with me through this difficult time.
Euro coach: NBA sucks
"America has taught us so much, especially college basketball. In the NBA, the last few years has experienced a big decline. I don't like the mentality because there, the results don't count. What counts is the show. The players here, and the coaches always work to win, but in the USA they do the show while in Europe we play the sport."
- Zeljko Obradovic, coach of Serbia & Montenegro, and Greek Panathanaikos
I read something like that, and the silly nationalist in me gets fired up. I want to instruct the guy to shove a tray of baklava up his ass and tell him that the NBA is the best basketball in the world, but the fact of the matter is that he can go scoreboard on me. He can point to his gold medal. And it pisses me off.
Because it doesn't have to be that way. We do have the best athletes, by far. But we also have the biggest egos, and the most fucked-up culture surrounding the game.
But hey, he's right. I wouldn't say that the NBA values show over winning, but... it certainly does value show. A SportsCenter anchor might yell for 20 seconds about a crossover into a reverse jam, and then barely mention, "Heat win, 102-90." I saw Carl Krauser at Pitt the other night make some absurd between the legs pass when there was no humanly reason to do so. The guy was right in front of him. There was nothing natural about it. This had to have been something he practiced. A lot.
There's about a million thoughts in my head about what's wrong with our game, and how it could be fixed, so I'm going to stop before my head actually explodes. I'm not into reliving the whole Olympic nightmare right now. No one will listen to me anyway.
Euro coach: NBA sucks
"America has taught us so much, especially college basketball. In the NBA, the last few years has experienced a big decline. I don't like the mentality because there, the results don't count. What counts is the show. The players here, and the coaches always work to win, but in the USA they do the show while in Europe we play the sport."
- Zeljko Obradovic, coach of Serbia & Montenegro, and Greek Panathanaikos
I read something like that, and the silly nationalist in me gets fired up. I want to instruct the guy to shove a tray of baklava up his ass and tell him that the NBA is the best basketball in the world, but the fact of the matter is that he can go scoreboard on me. He can point to his gold medal. And it pisses me off.
Because it doesn't have to be that way. We do have the best athletes, by far. But we also have the biggest egos, and the most fucked-up culture surrounding the game.
But hey, he's right. I wouldn't say that the NBA values show over winning, but... it certainly does value show. A SportsCenter anchor might yell for 20 seconds about a crossover into a reverse jam, and then barely mention, "Heat win, 102-90." I saw Carl Krauser at Pitt the other night make some absurd between the legs pass when there was no humanly reason to do so. The guy was right in front of him. There was nothing natural about it. This had to have been something he practiced. A lot.
There's about a million thoughts in my head about what's wrong with our game, and how it could be fixed, so I'm going to stop before my head actually explodes. I'm not into reliving the whole Olympic nightmare right now. No one will listen to me anyway.
3.02.2005
Padres GM knew Caminiti was on steroids
He knew, or at least, very strongly suspected. He never said anything. So, the question... does he get slammed for not speaking up then, or does he get credit for admitting it now?
I'm going with the latter option. It's easy to say now that he should've spoken up. We'd all like to think that we would've. But when every single one of your peers is doing the same thing, and the steroid user is helping put money in your pocket... I don't know. I think it would've taken a tremendous amount of courage to speak up then, risk the good name of your team and your sport, and call a good friend a cheater. I don't think a lot of people would've had the courage to do that. In fact, no one did.
So credit Kevin Towers for speaking up now, admitting he did the wrong thing, and saying that he feels terrible about it. "I still don't know for sure, but Cammy came out and said that he used steroids, and I suspected. Selfishly, the guy was putting up numbers, and I didn't do anything about it. That's just the truth."
Some people in baseball are still telling themselves that they had no idea anyone could've ever been on steroids. I'm glad someone isn't... Hopefully, it becomes a trend.
Tampa safety Dwight Smith pulls gun at McDonalds drive-thru
Dwight Smith is sitting in his car, waiting for his Big Mac. A woman in the car in front of him recognizes him. A couple of fans get out of the car to go see if they could talk to Smith. Smith pulls out a pellet gun, and one of his friends get out of the car and punched one of the guys.
I guess Dwight Smith really didn't feel like signing any autographs... Hey, maybe he's Smith auditoning to be in 50 Cent's posse. He was arrested in 2003 for something similar, pulling a gun on a motorist. I can kinda understand... I was approached in a McDonalds drive-thru line once at about 4 a.m., but I just gave the guy a dollar, and he wished Jah's mercy upon me. I really didn't feel the need for a gat.
And why a pellet gun? What, did he just get home from skeet shooting at the range? Does he think he's going to get in less trouble if he just pulls a pellet gun on someone? Idiot. Pulling a gun on someone is pulling a gun on someone... doesn't matter if it's a pellet gun or a Glock. I mean, you don't get in less trouble for trying to stab someone with a really dull knife, do you?
50 Cent beefin' with The Game
I always wanted to say "beefin'." This is a great story.
50 Cent and The Game were boys. The Game was a member of G-Unit. Then 50 Cent started having some beef with Nas, Jadakiss, and Fat Joe. The Game was asked about it, and he said, "I ain't gonna turn on my friends and Nas is one of my friends, and Jada's really a homie ... 50's beef is 50's beef and I really don't know where all this stems from."
Naturally, he had to be kicked out of G-Unit. 50 Cent said as much during a radio interview on Monday night.
Investigators believe that some of The Game's boys heard 50's comments, and they showed up at the radio station. Game's boys got into it with 50's boys, and one of The Game's boys took a bullet.
This is going to make it very difficult for me to listen to The Game's "How We Do" without getting emotional. I'll reflect on a beautiful friendship lost. It's like when Tommy Gunn turned against Rocky in Rocky V.
Here's what comes to mind when I read a story like this: High school girls. I'm fighting with this bitch, and if you can't be on my side, you can't be in my clique anymore, bitch. Only, these high school girls have guns and reps to protect. I mean, come on fellas... this has to stop at some point, right?
Of course, the other possibility for all of this is free ink. 50's got an album coming out Thursday, and instead of going on 106 and Park to promote it, it might just be a little easier to shoot someone and get his name in the paper. Just a theory.
Rhythm method not working all that well
Remember the Nashville Rhythm, that ABA basketball team coached by Ashley McElhiney, and owned by that unbalanced Nashville hooker?
Well, they qualified for the playoffs. They finished 21-10. They should be hosting a playoff game at home. But they won't be.
Why? The owner doesn't think they can win. What the hell?
Hey, he might be right. The team lost their top three players, all signing contracts to play overseas. So co-owner Tony Bucher says to hell with it, to hell with the rest of the guys who busted their asses all year, to hell with the female coach, who with no prior experience coaching, got a bunch of NBA wannabe fellas to buy into what she was saying. They can't win, so screw 'em. Don't let them play.
What is that?
I nominate the Nashville Rhythm for the most poorly-owned franchise in the history of the sports. It's as if Isiah Thomas and Donald Sterling had a love child, that love child had a love child with the person who was responsible for Crystal Pepsi, and that child now owns the Nashville Rhythm. Unbelievable.
A couple of quotes...
First, Yao Ming. Apparently, Yao talks some shit on the court, which I never would have guessed. Not because he doesn't speak English, but because nothing about him seems authoritative whatsoever. Anyway, Tyson Chandler said this about Yao:"Last time, he told me he was going to make me swallow my mouthpiece."
It's not world class trash talk, but it's a start. Charles Oakley must've taught him that during his brief time with the Rockets. Personally, I'm waiting for Yao to take it to the next level by dunking on someone and saying, "Eat some kung pao shit, you round-eyed motherfucker."
Moving onto this one, from Edgerrin James... and I believe it's one of the finest quotes you'll ever see anywhere. Speaking of the perceived cameraderie between himself, Marvin Harrison, and Peyton Manning, Edge said this:
"We're like the Jackson 5. To everyone on the outside, it looks like we're tight as hell. Then we go home, and it's Jermaine in this room, Tito in that room, and Randy ain't talkin' to no one. When you get up close, it's all dysfunctional."
