10.31.2005
America... Hock PHOOEY.
...because sometimes, it's necessary to have a headline that quotes the Iron Sheik.
The American basketball program is in trouble (that's an ESPN Insider article). I'm telling you... don't get your hopes up for a gold medal at the World Championships in 2006 or the Olympics in 2008.
You remember how miserably we failed, right? The shame, the humiliation, the embarrassment... Well, you know how we responded?
As Chris Sheridan points out in an excellent Insider article, we left out practice schedule just as ridiculously short as it was the last time, and we hired a coach who doesn't know how much time is on the international shot clock.
That's good. Is Coach K aware of the trapezoid lane? Does he know that he won't be playing Clemson, Miami, and NC State? Can someone explain to him that he will be playing teams from far-away exotic lands like Argentina and Serbia Montenegro?
We're dead. I have no beef with Coach K... I don't even hate Duke that much. But if he isn't aware that the international shot clock has been at 24-seconds since a rule change in 2001, then he hasn't been paying attention. That's not a knock on the guy, just a fact. He has not been paying attention. He is not the man for this job.
The U.S. Basketball Federation is just being shockingly brazen in their negligence here. After 2004, Larry Brown whined to anyone who would listen that the practice schedule wasn't long enough... that other teams had a huge head start, in addition to the fact that they've been playing together all their lives.
That should be an easy one. That's an easy fix. And they screwed it up... or, perhaps more accurately, they just ignored it. There is no chance that they're going to get any of the other countless issues worked out. We're done.
Goofy things Peter King said today
I feel bad doing this... I really do. But Peter King is very popular, very successful, and read by just about everyone. It's not like I'm going to chip away at his popularity here, so to hell with it. I want to first mention, though, that the first two pages of the column, the ones about Wellington Mara, were very good. And this comes from someone who has no connection to, or knowledge of, the Maras, and I read and enjoyed Peter King's words on him. But, that said, goofiness abounds. It was as if Peter King got out of bed this morning and said to himself, "Hey, let's give MJD some material this week." Peter's in italics, I'm in bold.
On his bye week, Peyton Manning went to Knoxville, where Tennessee retired his number on Saturday, then on to New Jersey for little brother Eli's Sunday showdown with Washington. He was chuckling wryly when he said this to me in midweek: "What would a bye week be like for me without two football games?"
It would be a 48-hour sex romp with Kenny Chesney, that's what it would be. By the way, how'd Peyton enjoy seeing Tennessee lose to Steve Spurrier? Would deja vu be an accurate description?
And on the Sabbath, Jerome Bettis rested those valuable pins for the duel with the Ravens.
Because it's never a bad time for the Jerome Bettis/God comparisions. The duel with the Ravens, by the way, will be contested without Ray Lewis or Ed Reed, but with Anthony Wright, and the final score should be something like 82-0. Of all the Monday Night matchups this season, this is the one I'm least likely to see as a "duel."
On his bye week, Michael Vick attached a lot of electrodes to his hamstrings and calves and ankles and said: "Hang in there for three more months! Hang in there!"
What did he do for his ability to read a defense and make accurate throws? Did he crack open his skull and attach an electrode to his cerebral cortex? Can you you put an electrode on the central nervous system somehow? Really, I think his legs are the least of his problems.
"I think this is the hardest job in sports.''
--Yankees GM Brian Cashman, after signing a new three-year contract with the team.
Without wanting to sound too disrespectful, Brian, ARE YOU HIGH?!!!!!!
It just makes me laugh when Peter King screams about something.
There was a basset hound trotting down New York Route 8 in the southbound lane just outside of Deposit on Friday morning. Cars didn't disturb the oblong fellow. He would just jog over to the side when a southbound vehicle approached, continuing to pad along. He would ignore the slowing northbound traffic.
So, to recap, a dog was running along the side of the road, and he would get out of the way when a car approached. That's riveting. Animal behavior is so peculiar sometimes. Normally, when I see dogs on the side of the road, they're bouncing around, running into cars and barking to the tune of "London Bridge." Many of them operate their own independent lemonade stands. But this special creature was avoiding moving vehicles. Remarkable.
I think, regarding replay -- and I have said this a thousand times -- that an official has to have indisputable visual evidence to overturn a call.
You think? Isn't that the actual rule? Isn't that something that every commentator says every time there's a replay situation? Thanks for the clarification, though, a thousand times over.
I would like to announce, drum roll please, that I'm a heterosexual male.
I have my doubts, but okay. I would like to see what Tom Brady and Bill Belichick had to say about the situation, though.
I don't understand the mania around athletes announcing their sexual preference. Do the vast majority of Americans care whom Sheryl Swoopes sleeps with?
Here's the reason for the mania: America, as a whole, doesn't like homosexuals. Now I know we're not all as wordly or metropolitan as Peter King, but believe it or not, there are people out there who aren't 100% comfortable with the idea of homosexuality. Now, in the case of Swoopes, no one cares because she's a WNBA player at the end of her career. But a male athlete in a major sport? Yeah, that's a big deal.
I don't want to compare levels of courageousness, but... y'know, I wonder if Peter understood the mania around Jackie Robinson being black and playing baseball. Being gay and being a big-time athlete is going to be very difficult for the first person who does. Maybe not Jackie Robinson-difficult, but difficult nonetheless. Swoopes was a step towards that. While I don't care about the WNBA and probably never will, I understand the newsworthiness of the item.
If you ask for a coffee with cream with your room-service oatmeal, as I did on Sunday morning at the Houston Airport Hyatt, and coffee with some thinnish kind of milk is sent, what are your options? Call down and wait 15 minutes (or more, who knows?) for the half-and-half to be sent? Or shut up and be a man and drink the one-percentish milk? I chose the latter.
FUCKING MANLY, BRO. ARRRRRRRGH. I guess that was just to hammer home the point about being a heterosexual male. Believe me, if you drank the coffee with the low quality milk... I am convinced.
I am really getting to be an old lady.
Don't contradict yourself, Peter.
The Smorgasbord is once again available...
...and I warn you, if you're feeling emotional or upset about the passing of Wellington Mara, you should probably pass on this one. Here it be. An excerpt...Wow. Brett Favre has five interceptions. He really should consider retiring... and I don't mean after the season, I mean right now, halfway through the third quarter. Go up to a referee, turn on his mic, and say, "I have five interceptions today. I apologize. I'm not good anymore, and I'm going home to listen to Toby Keith albums and mow my grass. Thank you."
Hey, why does Gunther Cunningham wear shooting glasses? He's got the yellow-tinted glasses, the headset on... did he just get off the shooting range? When I look at him, I can't help but think he's about to yell, "PULL!"
Introducing...
CourtsideTimes.Net is a brand spanking new NBA site at which I will be contributing. themightymjd.com old schoolers will remember my weekly NBA "Throwin' Bows" column, and those will now be found at CourtsideTimes.Net. And I'm sure I'll be linking to them constantly. Especially if you're a stats guy, you'll dig it heavy. You can read more about what the site aims to do here. The owner and proprieter, Mike, has put a ton of work into it already.
If you're an NBA wonk, I think you're really going to love the site. It's got a great list of knowledgeable basketball writers who have been published in all kinds of big-time publications and are well-respected throughout the internet basketball community... and me.
Anyway... that's where my Kanye West-themed NBA season previews are located.
mjd's Western Conference preview
and...
mjd's Eastern Conference preview
Here's an excerpt. I love excerpts."The best thing that could happen for the Blazers would be for Nate McMillan to walk onto the court on opening night, and positively beat the hell out of Zach Randolph. Just leave him laying under the basket, bloody and unconscious. And as he's being escorted out by security, he should turn around to the rest of the team and mouth the words, 'I am not here to screw around, boys.' "
10.29.2005
Weis gets extension through 2015
For the apparent purpose of ending speculation that he's heading to the NFL, Notre Dame gave Charlie Weis a huge contract extention. I just wanted to give all the Notre Dame fans from this thread a more convenient opportunity to stop by and call me an asshole. Enjoy.
10.28.2005
ESPN/USA Today Coaches Poll
To the surprise of no one, it's America's favorite team at the top, Duke... and for good reason. JJ Redick and his moving poetry return on the perimeter, and Shelden Williams, who's strong suit is not humpin' and pumpin', could be the nation's best big man. And if you've never seen When Harry Met Sally, I'd imagine that last sentence seemed quite odd.
And the best part is, they won't just be armed with a jumpshot or a dribble. They'll be armed for life. Because Coach K's is a leader who happens to coach basketball, and his life isn't about playing games. That's what I heard, anyway.
At #2 is UConn, despite the fact that their point guards might be felons and that the Big East coaches didn't even pick them to win the conference. That honor went to ESPN/USA Today's #4, Villanova, who got nine first place votes among Big East coaches, to UConn's 7. 'Nova returns everyone (sans Curtis Sumpter) from last year's 24-8 Sweet Sixteen team that absolutely deserved to beat UNC in the NCAA tournament.
Staying with the Big East for a second, this has the potential to be the best basketball conference ever in a single year. Certainly, there's no way to quantify that with any degree of certainty, but... starting the season with 5 teams in the Top 16 is a pretty decent. UConn, Nova, Louisville, West Virginia, and Syracuse.
At #3 is Texas. How much fun is it to be a student at Texas right now? It's almost not fair. You get to see a football team with a legitimate shot at a national title, and a preseason #3 basketball team that returns maybe the best point guard in the nation in Daniel Gibson, and Brad Buckman, who is in, I believe, his 29th year as a forward for the Longhorns. Of course, the downside of being a Texas student right now is that you have to actually be in Texas.
Jean Van de Velde's labia need some attention
In light of new rules that will open up British Open qualifying to women, Jean Van de Velde, intellect and social rebel that he is, wants to play in the women's British Open."My whole point is where do we draw the line?" Van de Velde asked after shooting a 7-over-par 78 Thursday in the first round of the Volvo Masters. "If we accept that women can enter our tournaments, then it applies that men can play with women."
I'm sorry, was that a 7-over par 78? I'm not sure you can play with the women, dude. Maybe you ought to spend a little less time crusading for the rights of the oppressed wealthy, white, male and more time at the sports psychologist so you don't choke like a little bitch on those rare instances that you are in contention.
I really think it's a noble cause he's got here. All forms of competition should be equally open to all people. That's what it's all about. I think the Champions Tour is fucked up, too... why do those old bastards get their own tour? Let's open it up to everyone, cuz it's not fair. There's a lot of prize money out there (not to mention the MILF and GILF groupies) that Jean Van de Velde doesn't currently have access to. He needs to get in on that. Hey, it's all about equal rights and fairness. Which is why I can't wait for him to apply for the right to compete in the Special Olympics, too. EQUAL ACCESS FOR ALL!
What. a. dumbfuck. Saying, "hey, women can get on the men's tour, so let's get on their tour" is just about the most crude, childlike, reactionary, non-thinking, surface-dwelling, shortsighted argument that could possibly be made.
There's a women's tour because women cannot compete physically with men. The men's tour isn't even the men's tour, it's the best-in-the-world tour. Everyone knows that. No one tunes into the Men's U.S. Open, or the Men's Masters, people watch the U.S. Open and the Masters because they want to see who's the best in the world, at that time, under those circumstances.
And I have no idea how someone could acknowledge the physical differences between men and women, and still believe that men should have a right to compete on the women's tour. It's even more bizarre in this case because they just opened up the qualifying to women -- no one's giving Annika Sorenstam a free pass into the British Open, they're saying that if she can earn a spot, it's hers. And this cock is still upset.
Yale attempts to curb drinking before Harvard game
Well, this is odd. New rules will ban all drinking games at Yale tailgates, and Harvard will shut down all tailgates after halftime. The rules go into effect immediately, but seem to be aimed at the Harvard/Yale game on November 19th.
What's been happening at Yale? Did some kids have too many white wine spritzers last year and forget to return their library books on time? Did some rowdy frat kids have too much Heineken and shave a quadratic equation into the Yale bulldog's fur? Rowdy bastards, those Ivy Leaguers.
Apparently, there are universities out there where drinking at football games is not the primary reason for being at the university in the first place. I had no idea."Our major concern is for the health and safety of our students," said Betty Trachtenberg, Yale dean of student affairs. "Perhaps over the years those concerns had been lost sight of."
Yes. That they are, Betty. And here's something you might not have known... college football games are meant to get people drunk. The students at Yale and Harvard are probably going to worm their way into major public offices one day... so I think we're all better off if they spend more time learning how to relax and get hammered right now. In the long run, we'll all be happier people because of it.
"We don't want to send hordes of students to the hospital after each game. Drinking games are meant to get people drunk," Trachtenberg said.
Exactly how hairy is Jumaine Jones?
In what I initially thought was a minor trade in the NBA yesterday, Jumaine Jones goes from the Lakers to the Bobcats for a conditional second-round pick.
Here's the conditional part: The 2nd-rounder is supposed to go to the Lakers in 2006. But the pick shifts to a 2007 selection if, and get this, the Bobcats finish with one of the Top 5 records in the league.
Apparently, someone in Charlotte is holding out hope that Jumaine Jones is something really special. And hey, I can't tell you definitively that he isn't going to turn into a werewolf with a penchant for stealing the ball from Primoz Brezec, converting finger-roll lay-ups, and doing headstands on top of Sean May's van. I can't promise you that that isn't going to happen. It might.
Or it could be that Bernie Bickerstaff and Mitch Kupchak dipped into Phil Jackson's stash and smoked about a half ounce together, and Bickerstaff said through continuous giggles, "Hey, y'know what we should write into this deal?"
That might've been it, too. But we'll keep an eye on the situation.
Religious Eagles infiltrate public schools
Tra Thomas, who I've heard of, and Thomas Tapeh, who I haven't, were brought into Newark High School to talk to the kids. They told school officials that the talk would focus on "values, choices and challenges that adolescents face in today's society."
Unbeknownst to the principal, Tra Thomas is the founder of Athletes United for Christ. He and that Tapeh fella spent their time at the school urging the kids to go to some kind of a Christian rally. Pretty clever tactic for the holy rollers, for whom the seperation of church and state is such an inconvenience.
I do somewhat understand... the Eagles absolutely should feel a sense of obligation to God after their "win" against the Chargers. If they feel that there was some kind of divine intervention there, and that they need to thank their Lord for it... well, they're probably right.
I just don't like how they went about it. Hey, I don't care who Tra Thomas chooses to worship in his free time. If he invites me, I might even go to mass with him. If he's a happier person for it, I think it's terrific. I don't care if he worships God, Buddha, Vishnu, Randall Cunningham, Jerry Fallwell or Andy Reid's nipples, I really don't. But I think using your celebrity to push religion on a group of high school students, on school time, qualifies as wrong.
"I'm just trying to get them to identify with me, the person, rather than just Tra Thomas, the football player, so we can relate to each other better," Thomas said. "And my Christianity is a big part of what I am."
What, are there "Get to Know Tra Thomas" days in public school? Is that an important part of the curriculum? Has the general public been clammoring for a more in-depth knowledge of Tra Thomas? The fact that he's using this ridiculous explanation makes me believe even more strongly that he's purposely deceiving these schools so he can get in there and spread his religious message. I find that a little bit off-putting.
10.27.2005
A few things from the Virginia Tech/BC game...
- I was about to go to the bathroom in the first half when ESPN decided to do a sideline interview with Michael Vick. I couldn't leave until it was over, because you never know what that guy's going to say. Alas, it wasn't that eventful... the only thing of note he said was that while Marcus was suspended, Michael served as Marcus's "father figure." That's a little bit frightening... is it too late to put Marcus up for adoption? When I think of Michael Vick, I think of a lot of things... but "father figure" is not one of them. But it is good to know that we can look forward to a long career of sexual deviancy from the Vick brothers.
- Also, there's a "Michael Vick Hall" somewhere on campus... I'm not exactly sure what takes place in the building, but it's probably the campus's free STD clinic. And Marcus, it's completely anonymous and open to people of all ages.
- ESPN.com was promoting the game with the angle of "Is Virginia Tech for real?" Well... why wouldn't they be? Because they're third in BCS? Yeah, let's start taking the BCS's word for things... that'll probably work out really well for everyone. Virginia Tech might not have the one big signature win, but they slapped the hell out of Georgia Tech, and won at NC State, at Maryland, and at #17 West Virginia. And they're currently in the process of beating #11 Boston College. If they do end up going undefeated, with games left against Miami, Virginia, UNC, and a potential ACC championship game, I'd argue that they've had a more impressive regular season than either Texas or USC.
- Virginia Tech is wearing some terrific blouses this week. They're very pretty. The one orange sleeve look is quite fabulous. I know these guys are big strong football players, but that doesn't mean that every now and then, they don't think to themselves, "I wish I was Prince." Of course, as long as Nike's giving Frank Beamer $80,000, he probably wouldn't object to them wearing ball gags for the entire fourth quarter.
Who will be the first gay male athlete to come out?
Deadspin and Oddjack have come together to ask the burning question... Who will be the first prominent male athlete to come out of the closet? They've identified five candidates:
Bruce Chen
Peyton Manning
Mike Piazza
Kordell Stewart
Tony Stewart
Here my analysis:
I'm going to eliminate Tony Stewart. I'm not saying he's not gay, but if he were to come out, he would immediately have hundreds of thousands of gay Nascar fans at his door, who will kiss him and then shoot him in the head, American Beauty style. So I don't see that happening.
If the question was "who's the most likely to actually be gay", my money's on Peyton. I really couldn't give you a reason why, it just is. But I don't see him coming out. He's from the South, he's in a famous family, and if he did come out, Archie would have to spend the next three months explaining to Eli about how sometimes a man can love another man.
And also, nearly every Tennessee alum would seetheir life immediately ruined. I don't think Peyton's going to do that to his fanbase... Think Florida and Alabama fans might enjoy that a little bit?
I also don't think it's going to be Kordell, as I don't think he's emotionally advanced enough to be able to handle such a step. I'd support him if he did, though... so e-mail me Kordell, maybe I can help.
That leaves Chen and Piazza... and I'm not quite sure who Chen is. So Piazza got my vote. The picture you'll see on the voting page did it for me. Go here to cast your ballot.
Any suggestions for other guys who should've been on the ballot?
10.26.2005
Bucks acquire Jamal Magliore
This is a move that says two things...
1) With the signing of Bobby Simmons, the inconsistent Desmond Mason is now quite expandable.
And 2) That Andrew Bogut thing... can we get a mulligan on that one?
Or at the very least, he's not developing as fast as they'd like. Whatever it is, the Bucks weren't happy and considered an upgrade necessary. They considered it so necessary, in fact, that they threw in a 1st rounder and cash.
It looks like the Bucks think they can compete this year, and that Andrew Bogut isn't going to have a lot to do with it. Maybe I'm wrong, but of the frontcourt team of Magliore, Dan Gadzuric, Joe Smith, and Bogut... I'm guessing that Bogut will be coming in 4th on that list in terms of playing time.
As for the Hornets... does it matter? All I can do is shrug. There was no chance that NOOCH (New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets, acronym created by Deadspin, and I'm going to do my best to see that it catches on, because I love it) was going to compete this year, and there was no chance that Magliore was going to be anything other than an a big, grumpy malcontent... so why not add the 1st round pick and cash? And Desmond Mason might throw down a nice dunk every once in a while, too. Best of luck, NOOCH.
Air Force coach: Black people are fast
I think Fisher DeBerry is a douchebag, but on the grand scale of racist things a coach could say, this one's pretty innocuous. I think it's a pretty silly thing to say, but I'm not going to hammer him for it.
The thing that rubs me the wrong way the most is that he mentions the lack of black players in his program as a reason for the fact that they're losing. It sounds like he wants to recruit black players now so they'll help him win, and not because, you know, it's the right fucking thing to do.
You could try to create a positive, welcoming, diverse atmosphere in the program and on campus. That's one way to go. Or, you could just say you want black players to help you win football games. Whichever helps you out, coach, because that's why we're all here.
"It just seems to be that way, that Afro-American kids can run very, very well. That doesn't mean that Caucasian kids and other descents can't run, but it's very obvious to me they run extremely well," DeBerry said in remarks first broadcast Tuesday night by KWGN-TV in Denver.
Are black people inherently and genetically faster? I don't know... I haven't performed any of my own genetic research about the differences in skeletal and muscular composition. It's possible. But I do think there are plausible societal/environmental theories as to why black people are so disproportionately represented in athletics, too.
I think if you're a young black kid, trying to figure out what you want to do with your life, and you turn on the television... you see a lot of people who look like you in sports and rap, and not so many in, say, Congress, for exaple. And I think there are more insitutional barries for black kids to overcome in getting a good education. So I think those are factors in why black people are disproportionately represented in sports, too. Genetic differences? That's a possibility, too.
Martz not sure he can coexist with Rams prez
While sitting out the rest of the year with some kind of a crazy heart problem, Mike Martz said he's not sure that he can coexist with the team's president of football operations.
The good news is that I don't think he's going to have to worry about that. This time next year, the only things he'll have to worry about coexisting with are a remote control and a bag of Cheetos.
When you're trying to get through by phone to suggest a play call, and when you try to get a messenger in with a play call, and you're denied at every attempt... that might be a good sign that your ass is history.
Under the right set of circumstances, I think Martz could be a good coach. If someone else ran the defense, and he had an assistant who was there to slap him in the face when he said things like, "Hey, let's run a double reverse on fourth-and-1," he could be alright. There aren't a lot of offensive minds better than his... but he needs some help with the all-encompassing duties of a head coach, it seems.
I'd say he and Mike Tice are about even money on who gets canned first. Things look bad for both of them, but they both have wildcard owners that are somewhat unpredictable. Georgia Frontiere seems to have a thing for Martz, and if she does fire him, she might bring him back as her pool boy. No one knows about Zygi Wilf yet... is he crazy enough to keep Tice around? Guys named Zygi tend to be pretty unpredictable.
By the way, I apologize for the lack of an update yesterday/today... some crazy weather caused a power outage, and I still don't know if all power issues have been rectified.
10.25.2005
Bill Parcells confronts his problems with abuse
You may have seen the clip... Bill Parcells was discussing a call with an official, and wide receivers coach Todd Haley interjected himself into the conversation. Parcells told him to go away once, and he did. Parcells continued talking with the ref, and Haley jumped back in, and Parcells went Billy Dee Williams on him.
Actually, no, it was just a shove. It wasn't so much a shove, actually... Parcells kinda whacked him. It was an attempt to physically strike a man. Not to hurt him, but it was an angry backhanded lash.
And poor Haley stands there with a dumbfounded, embarrassed look on his face. Not that he doesn't deserve it... Parcells has a policy that he's the only coach that can talk to officials, and he did tell him to stay away once. And it's not like Parcells landed a Larry Holmes haymaker. It wasn't even a Kevin Gilbride/Buddy Ryan punch... hell, it doesn't even qualify for a Frank Beamer/Ernest Wilford slap.
I'm not sure how much damage Parcells could do even if he wanted to. At this point in his career, he's definitely in the bottom third of NFL coaches you'd have to physically fear, along with Brian Billick, Joe Gibbs, and Dick Vermeil.
Michael Vick's dating tips
Monday Night Football has these inane video profile things where a star in the game will talk about his likes and dislikes, as well as miscellaneous other things that are of interest to no one. This feature brought us the knowledge a couple of weeks ago that Ben Roethlisberger thinks the best place to find women is the internet, and last night, Michael Vick gave out some very handy dating tips.
Michael said out of nowhere, "The key to dating two women at the same time... is having two cell phones."
You know, I've found the same thing in my own life. In my experience, the key to dating two women at once is to have two cell phones... and also to keep it a secret that I have herpes. If I want to date someone, I can't let them know I have the herp. For some reason, women react poorly to that.
Here are a few other handy tips that he left out. Maybe they'll appear as bonus features on the Falcons Season Highlights DVD.
- Keep the women seperated at all times, so they can't get together and compare rashes.
- You might need an alias. It might be harder to pick up women if they don't know you're a millionaire NFL quarterback, so go with a name that implies both virility and class... take your neighbor's first name, and the last name of a country. Doug Portugal might work for you.
- If you're having trouble finding a second woman to court, call your brother and ask for his assistance. He may introduce you to someone who, in three years, it might be legal for you to date.
Thanks for being a role model, Mike.
Texas takes over the #1 spot
Texas sits atop the latest Big Catastrophic Sham poll, having taken the lead over USC by someone's convoluted criteria. The big win over Texas Tech got them a couple more #1 votes in the human polls, and apparently got them a lot of computer love.
It's not that big a deal, and the margin is pretty small, so if USC hammers UCLA, they'll get their top spot back. I do think Texas can actually make a good case for #1, and if I had a vote, I'd find it difficult to make that decision. USC gets gets such an overwhelming number of #1 votes because of what they did last year... Voters are human and are swayed by the history and aura of invincibility that surrounds Southern Cal, which just isn't fair.
Those #1 votes should be based on who's accomplished what, this year only. And Texas's win at Ohio State, coupled with the absolute romp of Texas Tech, are more impressive than anything that USC's done. In the eyes of the BCS, the wins against Notre Dame for USC and Texas Tech for Texas are about equal (ranked 15th and 16th respectively). But Texas can also boast of the Ohio State road win.
You could also argue that if USC had the #1 spot, they didn't do anything to lose it... and it's hard to disagree with that, too. And all of this would make for terrific chit-chat if it weren't actually so important. I don't have any problem with polls as long as they don't mean anything... NFL Power Rankings are fun and harmless because at the end of the year, it's going to be decided on the field. But given the system we have in college football, these trifling issues and subjective arguments are going to make the difference between someone getting screwed out of a shot at the national championship. College football is a lot of fun right up until the end.
10.24.2005
Odds on the first guy to bust the NBA's dress code
That's right... You can bet on it. Bodog.com is offering odds on the first player to be fined for being in violation of the NBA's dress code. I stumbled across this a while ago on Deadspin, via Oddjack, but forgot about it for a while. Anyway...
The best bets, according to bodog:
Allen Iverson: 2/5
Ron Artest: 5/6
Marcus Camby: 1/1
Rasheed Wallace: 3/2
Jason Williams: 2/1
Shaquille O'Neal: 3/1
Kenyon Martin: 3/1
Also making the list are, for some reason, Josh Childress, Raja Bell, Kevin Garnett, Antonio Davis, LeBron James, and Mike Bibby.
Here's how MJD handicaps the situation. The best bets on the list, in my opinion... are Jason Williams at 2/1 and Rasheed at 3/2.
Rasheed is a rebel by nature. He breaks rules, for the sole purpose of breaking a rule. It's what he does... he's going to wear something ridiculous at some point, just to piss David Stern off.
And Jason Williams... I mean... The man just has no sense about anything. "You ain't writin' nothin', homeboy."
To a lot of people, Iverson seems like the safe choice, but he's not into giving up money. Fines are an effective deterrent for Iverson. He'll comply at the bare minimum, he might throw in something odd here and there, but ultimately, I see him complying.
Ron Artest is pretty likely, but 5/6... that's not a good number. I don't think Artest will break the code on purpose, but I can see him getting a fine one day and saying, "Hey, I didn't know that the diaper and bowtie look was off limits."
From ESPN.com's front page...
Following in the long line of entertainers that have claimed the title of "King of New York"... Notorious B.I.G., Jay-Z, Nas, 50-Cent. And now, the natural choice for the next name on that list... Eli Manning.
The Bengals are delusional
It's one thing to go into a game with the attitude of, "We are better than them. We should beat them, and we are going to beat them." That's a good thing... Even if it isn't true, you want your team to think that. You want them going into the game thinking they have iron balls.
But the Bengals, it seems, got this one backwards. Because with the way they played yesterday, it didn't seem like they believed any of that. But after a pretty sound beating... then they're convinced of it. Consider these quotes...Carson Palmer: "I don't think they're that much better of a team than us. Right now, I think we're the better team."
Well, if you believe that Carson Palmer and T.J. Houshmandzadeh really do think they're better than the Steelers, then Bryan Robinson is way off here, and it's not a mental thing at all. Which means that the only conclusion that can be drawn is that, no, they aren't as good as the Steelers.
T.J. Houshmandzadeh: "I think we're better than them. They won the game and I'm sure they feel like they're better than us, but I don't feel like it."
Levi Jones: "They're the Steelers. That's what they do. That's what their defense does. They try to get you any way they can. They try to get into your head, play dirty, talk dirty. You prepare for it."
Bryan Robinson: "I think it's here," he said, pointing to his head. "Once we get that mentality that we're just as good as that team... we need to get our heads straight. Let's just play."
The Bengals organization needs to stop serving crack-cocaine as part of their post-game meal. It's hard to imagine anyone watching that game yesterday and thinking that the Bengals were the better team. Whatever they were seeing, I certainly didn't see.
Rushing Yards: Pittsburgh 221, Cincinnati 91.
Palmer had a QB rating over 100 in his previous nine, yesterday it was 52.8.
If I'm a Bengals fan, this isn't what I want to hear. You can't get better until you acknowledge that you do indeed need to get better. The time for bravado and self-appreciation is before the game... not right after you were just mauled. Right now, they should be saying things like, "We're not good enough on defense, we need to get tougher. On offense, we didn't execute well enough. The Steelers made plays, we didn't. We need to get better if we want to dethrone them."
The only one who seemed to know that was rookie linebacker Odell Thurman."It was like we got hit with a two-by-four," acknowledged Bengals rookie middle linebacker Odell Thurman. "They brought the wood. They played with a purpose. They whupped us pretty good. It was like they came in here with an attitude and [determined] to deliver a message, you know?"
The AFC playoff picture
This was originally supposed to be the weekly installment of "Goofy Things Peter King Said Today," but... Peter didn't leave me a lot to work with. The MMQB was excellent. I thought he was right on about Jerome Bettis, Eli Manning, and Jim Johnson and the Philadelphia defense. And he was shockingly ungoofy today. There were a couple of little things, but it's not even worth mentioning them in the context of an otherwise excellent column.
But there is one thing I'd like to discuss.
From the Fine Fifteen... 3. (tie) San Diego (3-4). I refuse to say Uncle. They went east again and a dumb special-teams play beat them.
I don't know how to feel about this. I'm inclined to agree with Bill Parcells when he says, "You are what you are." And right now, the Chargers are a 3-4 team that will have to fight a hell of an uphill battle to get to the playoffs. Look at the depth in the AFC right now...
Indianapolis (7-0)
Pittsburgh (4-2)
New England (3-3)
Cincinnati (5-2)
Denver (5-2)
Kansas City (4-2)
Jacksonville (4-2)
San Diego (3-4)
That's eight teams, and the top four, you can pretty much pencil in. Two of this group aren't going to the playoffs. And being 3-4, however impressive that 3-4 may be, puts you squarely behind the eight ball. How big is that San Diego/Kansas City game next week? The Chargers need that game worse than Jake Plummer needs a razor.
But back to Peter King's placement of San Diego at #3... I dunno. I'm biased, of course, but it's hard to argue that they don't have the credentials to be the 3rd-best team in the league. They just played a brutal 4-game stretch, @New England, Pittsburgh, @Oakland, @Philadelphia, with the last three teams coming off bye weeks. That is criminally difficult. They came out of it 2-and-2, and one of the losses came on some bullshit fluke play.
And while we're on the subject of the Eagles, let me point out that a short-passing game is not a substitute for a running game. It might work pretty well for 3-and-a-half quarters. But towards the end of the game, when you need to pick up a 4th-and-2, you've got to be able to grind that out without assuming the risks of a deflected pass. To complete a pass there, you need a lot of things to work... You need the d-line to be kept from getting a bull rush and/or getting their hands up in the passing lane. You need a composed quarterback. You need good hands. You need the coverage to allow enough room. To be able to pick up that first down on the ground, you just need to be stronger and more manly. The Eagles put themselves in a tough spot by not being enough of those two things.
The Smorgasbord is available
Tearing down the goal posts is bad
I didn't always think that. But a 20-year-old being killed by a falling goal post can change your mind about things.
The University of Minnesota-Morris won a game over Crown College in double overtime. The 1,000-or-so fans rushed the field, and eventually tore down the posts, only to find one guy pinned under it and no longer alive. Autopsy results are due Monday.
So tragic and so pointless... and I feel like an idiot for ever thinking it was an alright thing to do. I mean, it's a giant hunk of metal that comes crashing to the ground, yeah, that's probably pretty dangerous. Every college with a football team should make sure that all students hear about this story. Celebrate however you want, rush the field, drink a case of Milwaukee's best, rape Beavo the cow if you have to... but tearing down the goal posts can clearly result in something terrible, so let's all resolve to leave them up from now on. I feel very bad that this happened.
Charlie Weis could be had pretty cheaply
Here's an interesting little note... in Charlie Weis's Notre Dame contract has a clause that says Weis can leave for an NFL job for a buyout of only $1.5 million. And says Adam Schefter in the same article, there could be as many as 13 head coaching vacancies coming up this NFL offseason.
Do the Lions have a better way to spend $1.5 million? Do the Vikings? The Raiders? I mean, it's pretty clear that Charlie Weis is a sick football coach. The turnaround at Notre Dame happened so quickly and so impressively... is there any other coach in the world who could've done that?
And how sweet would it be if he was ripped away from Notre Dame so quickly? Anything that would make Regis cry is something I'm strongly in favor of. Just as the fanbase was rounding back into their full annoyance, their savior would be gone... and then they'd have to hire Rudy to coach the damn team or something, and slink back into 7-4 seasons.
10.22.2005
Oh, what CBS is doing to Verne Lundquist...
The following is a direct quote from Verne Lundquist doing commentary of the Tennessee/Alabama game. This cracked me up."Alright, I want you to listen to every word here...
"College life rocks. The sports, the parties, the hardbodies. But on Sunday, October 30th, college life is going to bite. CBS presents a world-premiere movie just in time for Halloween... Vampire Bats. Sunday, October 30th on CBS, America's most watched network.
"You know, sometimes there are moments in my career... that I don't stand with great dignity. "
In advance of the Tennessee/Alabama game...
This week's ESPN.com E-Ticket, which I haven't read since its first edition where they stalked Steve Bartman, features a tale of SEC college football boosters, who seek to serve their favorite college football teams and make themselves feel important, not necessarily in that order. It's a pretty solid read, despite being about people who you probably don't want to know.
To make a long story short, these men are moron rednecks with a lot of money and not much else going on in their life. It's pretty sad, really... if someday, I am miraculously turned into a bazillionaire, and I don't have anything better to spend my money on than getting high school football players to play for my favorite team, I believe you should, and may even be morally obligated, to kill me.
It's a long story and it involves a lot of douchebags, so I'm not going to re-tell it for you here... if you have some time, read about it. But it involves the Alabama and Tennessee football programs and makes Phil Fulmer seem like a snitch and a homophobe (in the South? Nah...), even though he seems like the most noble, or least douchebaggy, person involved in the whole thing.
Just seems crazy that Alabama was worried about Mike Price rolling the tide with some nasty-ass hookers.
Follow up on the ASU adidas hater...
Just to follow up on a previous blog item, the Arkansas State basketball player who refused to wear adidas has been granted a waiver to wear whatever footwear he'd like.
"I apologize for all the confusion that was caused in this process," Nichols said. "I am very apologetic to the fans at ASU and hope they continue to support the men`s basketball program and this university. Hopefully, they will continue to support our team in our quest for a championship."
"I'm very proud to be a part of this university," Nichols continued. "I'm also thankful to adidas. Finally, I want to apologize to my teammates and coaches for the whole ordeal."
Tragedy averted, and we can all continue to enjoy Arkansas State basketball just as much as we always have. The adidas people heard about his concerns, talked to the school, and granted the young fella a waiver, freeing him of the school's contractual obligation to adidas. Nice work, adidas.
In a related story, the Arkansas State basketball head coach's name is Dickey Nutt. TeeHee.
Gracias, Yoco.
10.21.2005
C's Tony Allen charged with aggravated battery
If he's convicted, he could do 2-5 years, depending on how much he likes Larry Bird. The good news is that he's a professional athlete, which means he's not likely to be convicted, and even if he is, probation is the most likely. Commissioner Stern, do ankle bracelets fit into the new dress code? Is the lowjack considered excessive jewelry?
But the bad news for Tony is that the incident's been caught on tape, so... that takes away some of his wiggle room, as well as some of the effectiveness of a glowing character assessment from Doc Rivers.
Here's what may or may not have happened: Allen and his entourage were at a club, Allen spotted someone he had a previous beef with, turned to one of his boys, and said, "Fuck him up." The guy was shot later that night. Allen is not a suspect in the shooting... but he does also face civil charges from a previous incident where he's accused of punching a guy and fracturing his eye socket.
So at least he learned from one incident to the next that it's better to have your boy do your dirty work than it is for you to do it yourself. That's progress. Maybe Danny Ainge is on to something here with the braintyping stuff.
Said Doc Rivers, "He never should have put himself in that situation. The bottom line is I think Tony is a good kid - I think he wants to be a good kid - and I think he put himself in a horrible situation. Now we've just got to hope he gets out of it."
Yeah, that's the important thing here, that Tony Allen gets out of it. I'm not saying he did it, I'm not saying he deserves any kind of punishment, I'm just saying... a guy's been shot, Tony Allen may have had something to with that, so to me, the important thing is not that he "gets out of it."
Maddox family abused
According to various reports, Tommy Maddox's kids have been taking a little bit of abuse at school, and someone has thrown some trash on Tommy's lawn, in the wake of his horrendous performance last week against Jacksonville.
Fickle, fickle, people. It wasn't that long ago that everyone in Pittsburgh had a hat or t-shirt with a "#8" and "TOMMY GUN" written on it. Now, those same people are more likely to point an actual gun at Tommy.
He was once Pittsburgh's savior, rescuing them from the Kordell Stewart era. The love for him was nearly universal, but all that, apparently, has been forgotten. Don't get me wrong, if there was ever a single-game QB performance deserving of some lawn trash, this one was it. But that still doesn't make it right. Someday, the people of Pittsburgh are going to want to buy insurance from a former XFL MVP, and they'll wish they hadn't done this.
Anyway, Steelers fan, if you want to abuse someone's kids and litter on someone's lawn, you could start with the guy who decided that it was a good idea that Maddox play all 60+ minutes against Jacksonville. You could start with the guy who refused to put Jerome Bettis in to fall forwards when the Steelers needed a crucial yard or two. You could start with the guy who broke in to Warren Sapp's house and stole all of his hideous sweaters. He might've had something to do with that loss, too.
Superdome could be good to go in '06... if anyone wants to play there.
That was the word for Superdome officials yesterday, who said the Saints could play at least some of their home games there in 2006.
Sounds like good news... until you consider that colossal douchebag owner Tom Benson doesn't want to play in the Superdome in '06... or '07 or '08 or any damn time, because he'd rather be in San Antonio.
Benson, not nearly as lovable as the sitcom star of the same name, also fired a longtime team official because he was an advocate of keeping the team in New Orleans... according to the fired dude, anyway. Another longtime team official has resigned over it.
You can read the details here, but it seems like Benson is doing everything in his power to high-step it to San Antonio. And you know, I get that it's a tough situation for him. Maybe New Orleans wasn't the best situation for the team, even pre-Katrina, and maybe now, it's even worse.
Benson's a businessman, and I know he's got to look out for his bottom line, but... at what a cost? How much more money does he need? I'm never going to have any sympathy for any NFL owner who cries poor. Owning an NFL team makes you not poor.
It just feels like any kind of a decent human being would want to let the community keep their team. He'd at least make an effort, because it's part of something bigger. If the Superdome was leveled, and he was getting no support from the community, that would be one thing. But the building is going to be fine, it's going to be repaired for next year, and the city could probably use the help of the Saints in getting New Orleans back together.
He's looking at the situation, and instead of saying to himself, "Things are really bad here, I should do what I can to boost the community," he's saying, "Things are really bad here. I better get the hell out of here." This guy is making Art Modell look like Gandhi.
Bengals/Steelers on Sunday
It's time to find out how real the Bengals are. They've cruised to a 5-1 record on the Browns, Vikings, Bears, Texans, and Titans... but the competition will be stiffer than it was against any of those teams (with the possible exception of the Vikings) this Sunday as the Bengals meet the Steelers.
It's about as big as a Week 7 game can be. Divisional rivals, one the established powerhouse, the other a young buck on the rise, in need of a solid test... I'm looking forward to it. Ben Roethlisberger will be back under center for Pittsburgh, as Bill Cowher controversially benches the ultra-successful Tommy Maddox. The Steelers top 3 WRs are listed as questionable, though.
I think it could be a pretty high-scoring game. Neither pass defense is completely stellar, while it's a matchup of the two highest-rated QBs in the league and both teams run the ball pretty well to boot. But I thought San Diego/Pittsburgh would be a pretty high-scoring game, too, so what the hell do I know?
If likability in their respective fathead (big-ass, $150 wall stickers, if you haven't seen them) commercials has anything to do with the game, though, I'm going with Chad Johnson over Ben. Roethlisberger seems like such a doofus in those spots. "People in TV-land? Get a fathead!" Ugh. I will get a sledgehammer, and I will use it to pound your wispy-goateed face. I bet those spots are the reason that Natalie Gulbis dumped his goofy ass.
Paul Shirley gets ESPN'd up
You may remember last season when Paul Shirley, the 12th man on the bench of the Phoenix Suns, kept a litte diary on the Suns team website. A lot of players did things like that, and most of them were completely inane... with stuff like, "All this travel sure is difficult. Next, we have to get ready for Portland. They should be tough! Seeya next week!"
But Shirley, with a lot of free time on his hands, put some effort into it... and it was funny, smart, and colorful... and one day, Bill Simmons linked to it, it blew up in popularity, and now, Shirley's got a book deal, and he's writing for ESPN.com, which I believe means that he will be contractually obligated to now suck.
Anyway, his first effort for ESPN is here... the good news is that he's already better than most of the guys on Page 2. The bad news is that... well, I dunno. I just don't have a lot of faith in ESPN. But best of luck to Paul Shirley in finding an NBA job this year and with the book.
Your Darko update
Darko's per-48 numbers thus far in the preseason...
17.9 points, 9.8 rebounds, 6.4 blocks, 2.1 assists.
It's nothing mind-blowing, and of course, his foul and turnover numbers are also off-the-charts, but hey... at least he's on the court doing something.
Matt Leinart's pro prospects
Josh Levin of Slate.com looks at Matt Leinart's performance against Notre Dame, and wonders if it maybe exposed some flaws in his game that could cost him at the next level.USC's offense clicks because the Trojans' dominant offensive line gives the accurate Leinart more than enough time to spot open receivers. But against Notre Dame, Leinart proved fallible when faced with a stifling, aggressive defense. With Fighting Irish defenders in the backfield all day, the short timing routes that the Trojans thrive on become ineffectual. Leinart's savvy and toughness - as seen on his clutch, last-minute, fourth-down throw to Dwayne Jarrett - are unimpeachable. But he's not shifty enough in the pocket to avoid taking big hits, and his arm is too weak to throw the ball over the top when he's pressured. On Saturday, the Trojans' most effective passing play was the screen pass to Reggie Bush. It doesn't take a pro quarterback to dump the ball off.
Mel Kiper's still convinced that he's the #1 guy, though. He says his arm strength is improved from last season, and he just makes plays.
I think Leinart will be fine in the NFL. Maybe he doesn't have Elway-like arm strength, but that's certainly not a necessity to succeed. Nor is incredible scrambling ability... and those are both things that can be worked on and corrected. What he has done is be ultra-successful in a sophisticated offense, step up in clutch situations, and be an accurate passer to all areas of the field. A lot of guys have succeeded with lesser physical skills than those of Matt Leinart.
10.20.2005
Dude extends his stretch to honor Larry Bird
This could be both the dumbest and most admirable thing I've ever heard of. Having his lawyer reach a plea agreement of a 30-year jail sentence for him, Eric James Torpy requested that his sentence be 33 years. 33, for Larry Legend. I'm sure that when Larry heard about it, he was incredibly honored and touched. It's really too bad that the guy isn't a Chauncey Billups fan.
I'm picturing the guy being drug into his cell and screaming, "WAIT! I MEANT SUE BIRD!"
"He said if he was going to go down, he was going to go down in Larry Bird's jersey," Oklahoma County District Judge Ray Elliott said Wednesday. "We accommodated his request and he was just as happy as he could be."
I think the DA and the wardens need to step up and allow him to serve his time in a Bird jersey. He gave them three extra years of free labor, the least they can do is hand him home and road Bird jerseys. I also think Larry owes it to him to visit him in the clink. Even if it's a short visit, even if Larry just shows up, seems him on the other side of the glass, picks up the phone receiver and says, "You fucking idiot," then I think he should do it.
And hey, what happens if he's given time off for good behavior? What if he's granted parole? Will he turn it down for Larry?
I respect it. I think it's incredibly dumb, and after 30 years of prison rape, he may wish he had a mulligan on this one... but it's a greater display of love for an athlete than I have ever previously witnessed. And the guy's going in for shooting with an intent to kill and robbery, so intelligence and forethought are probably not his strong suits. His loyalty to his favorite athletes, however, can certainly not be questioned. I'm sure it will earn him all kinds of respect in the joint.
Best of luck with your stretch, Eric James. And I mean that. Watch out for your cornhole, buddy.
Zygi Wilf assaults Vikings verbally; Tice wants to do so physically
If you're a Vikings fan, and you're looking to find out more about your new owner... a team boat orgy is a pretty good way to test him in his first few months on the job. According to a report in SI, Wilf addressed the Vikings locker room with a profanity-laced tirade, threatening to jettison any dirty bastard who was involved in planning the Love Boat party.
I think so far, you'd have to give Wilf a passing grade for how he's responded. He's been appropriately indignant, and he's begun to assemble a new security department, which is probably a good thing.
You may argue that he should have fired Mike Tice, and it's difficult to argue that he shouldn't, however... if he does it right now, it kinda shifts the spotlight away from the players, who should absorb 100% of the blame for the depravity on Lake Minnetonka. Let them take the abuse for it for a while... no reason to make Tice a scapegoat for that particular incident.
And if you fire Tice right now, you're stuck with an interim coach that you have to choose from your current staff, and there's just not much chance that it's going to do a lot to help the Vikings right now, at least in a football sense.
Daunte Culpepper running around a boat and playing with his dinghy isn't something you can pin on Tice. No NFL coach can be expected to babysit 24 hours a day... and I'm guessing that just about every NFL team has sex parties that would absolutely blow my mind. The Vikings just happen to be dumb enough to do it amongst the general public. That's on the players, not Tice.
The 1-4 record, however, is on Tice, and his odds of seeing next year as the Vikings head coach are about 19,872,272-1. But firing him right now probably doesn't do a lot of good, and if I'm a Vikings fan, I'm OK with that.
The same article, and this is awesome, quotes three players from last year's team who said Mike Tice "offered to fight any team member who wanted a piece of him."
I can't figure out why Tice wasn't immediately swarmed under a mountain of angry men dressed in purple. How did no one take him up on that offer? Maybe that provides some insight into why the Vikings suck... if no one's willing to step up and fight an evidently incompetent 46-year-old man, maybe they're just too pussy to win any football games, either.
Hockey's New Rules
From Onion Sports...Despite it's popularity with urban fans and the fact that it is not easy, "pimpin" will still be a five-minute major penalty.
Mark Messier to be transformed into constellation and cast into the heavens, where is unblinking and fearful countenance shall keep watch over hockey for all time.
Association Says Mascots, Indian Names 'Harmful'
Whenever a team mascot like "Redskins" comes into question, an owner like Dan Snyder will be quick to jump up and say, "It is not our intent to harm anyone, but to honor them."
Yesterday's report from the American Psychological Association should put to rest any questions of "intent." First, I don't think Dan Snyder is ever sitting in his office, watching a game and thinking, "You know, this is a terrific way for us all to be honoring native Americans." I think he's more likely to be thinking something like, "Lavar Arrington sure is an expensive bench warmer," "I bet the cheerleader third in from the left would sleep with me for $20,000," or, "I hate trees."
But I digress. Even if he was thinking about honoring American Indians, and his intentions actually were noble (if hugely misguided), I don't think it should matter a whole hell of a lot. His intent, or the intent of anyone else who presides over an institution that uses a Native American name, is not more important than this, snipped from the APA's report:APA's action, approved by the Association's Council of Representatives, is based on a growing body of social science literature that shows the harmful effects of racial stereotyping and inaccurate racial portrayals, including the particularly harmful effects of American Indian sports mascots on the social identity development and self-esteem of American Indian young people.
These are pretty much the world's foremost experts on such things. It is their job, their chosen life's work, to study peoples' mental processes and behavior. Their opinion matters. It matters a whole hell of a lot more than any half-ass opinion formed on the matter by Dan Snyder, Bobby Bowden, or Jeb Bush. They are, of course, entitled to their opinions... but if you're looking for a right and wrong on the issue, I think you're better off siding with the people that have studied the issue and gone out and done the research.
"The use of American Indian mascots as symbols in school and university athletic programs is particularly troubling," says APA President, Ronald F. Levant, EdD. "Schools and universities are places of learning. These mascots are teaching stereotypical, misleading and, too often, insulting images of American Indians. And these negative lessons are not just affecting American Indian students; they are sending the wrong message to all students."
Psychologist Stephanie Fryberg, PhD, of the University of Arizona, has studied the impact of American Indian sports mascots on American Indian students as well as European American students. Her research shows the negative effect of such mascots on the self-esteem and community efficacy of American Indian students.
"American Indian mascots are harmful not only because they are often negative, but because they remind American Indians of the limited ways in which others see them," Fryberg states. "This in turn restricts the number of ways American Indians can see themselves."
The issue of the inappropriateness and potential harm of American Indian mascots is broader than the history and treatment of American Indians in our society say many psychologists who have studied issues of race in America. Such mascots are a contemporary example of prejudice by the dominant culture against racial and ethnic minority groups, according to these scholars.
And this is also why I don't care that Florida State can show that they have the approval of Seminole Indians living in Florida... the effect goes farther than that. It's not like Florida State exists in a vacuum where it can only reach people in their immediate surrounding areas... those images go out to everyone across the world, and, as the study said, it has an effect on how American Indians see themselves, and how other people see them.
MJ admits gambling was 'stupid'
To me, this is every bit as shocking as Bill Romanowski's admission that he used steroids. Jordan told 60 Minutes that he had been "stupid" in his gambling, and said, "Yeah, I've gotten myself into [gambling] situations where I would not walk away and I've pushed the envelope."
Ya don't say. I've never been a huge fan of Jordan. Greatest basketball player ever? Maybe. He certainly belongs in the discussion. But as an individual, he's always been too... too... carefully-groomed, I guess, for me to like him a whole lot. Everything he said, did, wore, was always so carefully chosen, so as not to offend any corporate partner of his, or anyone who might one day buy his shoes.
Anyway, he's always been so careful about what he's said about himself... that if he admits any kind of mistake about gambling, it's probably safe to assume that it was much worse than he's letting on. MJ is not someone who's going to admit any of his personal foibles. Anything he says it going to be carefully measured, so as to minimize any negative impact.
There were rumors that he took the year off from basketball because of gambling problems, there were rumors that his father's death was related to gambling... I'm not saying either of those things are true, and I doubt they are, but... there are probably people in the world somewhere that have some crazy-ass Michael Jordan gambling stories.
Some people are just competition freaks... they're addicted to winning, addicted to competing. It's easy to see how they could be drawn to gambling. And MJ had that addiction worse than maybe anyone else who's ever lived... you can see how something like that would serve him well on the basketball court, but maybe not so well at the blackjack table.
10.19.2005
Ron Artest wants to fight Ben Wallace. For $10 million. On pay-per-view.
This is how much I like Ron Artest. For 3 or 4 years, Ben Wallace has been my favorite NBA player. Ron Artest plays for the Pacers, the Pistons' biggest rival, and wants to attempt to bust up Ben Wallace in a boxing match on pay-per-view... and I still love Ron Artest.
Yes, he is certifiably insane. He is fucked three ways from the weekend. But woven into all the insanity somewhere is a passionate guy with a pretty big heart. Other than his proposed pay-per-view boxing extravaganza against Big Ben, he also talks to Penthouse about his family and his charity interests.
Henry Abbot at TrueHoop doesn't think it'd be a good fight. He says NBA players tend to be spindly, wimpy, and playgroundy. And normally, I'd agree... your average NBA fight is pretty lame. But Ben Wallace and Ron Artest? Depending on the situation, those might be the two scariest dudes in the NBA.
There are other ways in which some guys are scarier... for instance, if it's a "my little sister is in a hotel room alone with him" kind of situation, Kobe is scarier. Or if it's a "I think this guy wants to rape me" situation, Shaq is scarier. In a "I have to look at his face for a prolonged period of time" situation, Sam Cassell is scarier.
But in terms of a straight-up street brawl... Wallace/Artest is probably better than you'd do with any two actual heavyweight boxers. My prediction for the fight would have to be Ben Wallace via decision, just because he's probably got a little bit of a reach/height advantage, and I don't know if it would be possible to knock Ron Artest out. He's the kind of guy that could have an Buick dropped on his head and he might not realize it.
The Wallace-via-decision prediction assumes, of course, that Ron Artest doesn't flat-out lose it in the 3rd round and start attempting to chew Big Ben's face off.
From TrueHoop, via Deadspin.
Chargers make some deadline moves
From a naval city to a sailor's paradise, Toniu Fonoti is making the move from San Diego to Minnesota. San Diego gets a 6th or 7th round pick from Minnesota in return for the massive bulldozer of an offensive guard.
In addition, San Diego also acquired AJ Feeley, which we'll get to in a second... but first, Fonoti.
On the surface, it doesn't look like it makes a lot of sense for the Bolts. Fonoti is an incredibly talented lineman, capable of moving guys on just sheer strength. He's still young, he's still strong, he's still got a lot of ability.
However... the past two camps, he's shown up late and not in as good a shape as he should be. He's been injury-prone. His last injury may have cost him his starting job. And his contract was up after the year, so... in all likelyhood, San Diego was going to see him walk after the season for nothing, anyway.
The other thing that makes me think this was a good deal for the Bolts is that they made the trade with Minnesota, and there is absolutely no chance that Minnesota is doing something right. It's just not possible. But I guess in the worst-case scenario, if Fonoti doesn't work out at all for the Vikings, they can always use him as an anchor.
When informed of the trade, Fonoti went out and purchased a a set of swimmies and a box of condoms.
In a seperate deal, the Chargers acquired AJ Feeley from the Dolphins which is an indication that... I dunno, they like sucky quarterbacks, apparently.
Actually, what it signifies is that the Chargers are going to be rid of either Drew Brees or Philip Rivers at the end of the year and wanted a veteran backup in place. The Chargers sent their 3rd QB, Cleo Lemon, who I will miss, to Miami as part of the deal. Feeley represents a veteran back-up, which is something that they would have been otherwise without for next year.
The picture, by the way, is of Heather Mitts, soccer stud and AJ Feeley's significant other. The Chargers needed an upgrade there, too, as long snapper David Binn's ex-ho, Pamela Anderson, can no longer be considered anything close to attractive. Welcome to the family, Heather.
The least likable guy in the universe
Some of you might be interested in knowing that I finally have come up with one good reason to love baseball. Here it is: it gets Joe Buck away from the NFL for a weeks.
I know that there must be times where I come off like an arrogant bastard here, and I do apologize for that. But I don't think I could seem like this big of a douche if I tried.
Apparently, Joe Buck writes for The Sporting News from time to time... which is somewhat apropos, since TSN itself is so completely irrelevant. Anyway, here's the first paragraph of his latest article, with big thanks to The Sports Frog's Swamp:Talk about shelf life! As I was wandering through an airport the other day I finally realized how funny one of my dad's old jokes was. I am sure the same thing will happen to me in about 2009 when I finally chuckle at one of Larry David's lines from that unwatchable HBO series -- I think I am the only person in this hemisphere who finds nothing on that show even remotely entertaining.
Alright, that's enough reason for me to want to fight someone right there. Alright, maybe that's pushing it, but come on... it's the funniest thing on TV by a pretty comfortable margin. Even my mother thinks Curb Your Enthusiasm is hilarious. Peter King thinks it's hilarious, for God's sake. Tell me this isn't funny...
[Larry accidentally eats decorative manger scene cookies]
Becky: You ate the baby Jesus and his mother Mary.
Larry: I thought they were animal cookies.
Cheryl's Dad: Animal cookies? What, are you kidding me?
Becky: Jesus Christ is not an animal.
Larry: I thought he was a monkey.
Cheryl's Dad: A monkey? Oh, please.
Cheryl's Mom: Larry, have you no shame?
Becky: The Son of God is not a monkey, Larry.
And the hilarious joke from Joe Buck's dad?One day many Octobers ago I heard my father tell someone that he had been traveling so much he had passed himself while walking through the airport terminal at Lambert Field in St. Louis.
Yeah, that's a good one.
And that's just the beginning. I'd quote other instances of the sheer inanity, but that would involve just cutting and pasting the entire article. Really, I've never read anything this pointless or just flat-out annoying. It's actually a remarkable achievement. Here's how it ends:Time to stop typing. We're about to land, and the flight attendant just gave me that look.
What the fuck?
By the way, how is it possible that by leaving my iPod on I pose a threat to the safety of the plane?
Hard to ... wait a minute ... where ... I thought this was the ... this isn't Chicago?! Sorry, that was so Larry David of me.
Stephen Jackson calls NBA's ban on chains "racist"
I'm not happy about having to blog this... because I know that most of you will think I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure I'm right, and if any discussion ensues, it's not likely to go anywhere productive. But I just couldn't let it go. Stephen Jackson is going to get hammered in the media tomorrow, and I at least wanted my small little voice to be on his side.
His opinion, I'm guessing, won't be a tremendously popular one. Talk show hosts tomorrow will spend all day making fun of Stephen Jackson... his involvement in the brawl and his pre-existing "thug" image will make him an easy target to ridicule. But there is one little thing wrong with that...
He's right about this.
The NBA released their official dress code yesterday, and included in it is a ban on "chains, pendants or medallions worn over the player's clothing."
You can look at that and say, "But David Stern isn't just banning the chains for black players, he's banning them for everyone" And that's true. So how is the policy racist? Because the proliferation of gold chains as a fashion statement is mainly a black cultural thing. Sure, white people wear chains, but they got the idea from somewhere else. It's another culture that they're emulating.
Essentially, this is a policy that is aimed at taking something away from black people. That something may not be particularly important to you, or to me, or to a large number of people of all colors. But to some people, even if it is just one little fashion statement, it is a part of the culture. Maybe not something everyone is used to, maybe not something that everyone likes, but it's there. And there's nothing bad or wrong about it, it's just part of a culture that some people aren't familiar with, and David Stern is declaring that it is unacceptable. I have a problem with that.
Said Jackson, "...it's one thing to [enforce a] dress code and it's another thing if you're attacking cultures, and that's what I think they're doing."
That is what they're doing. It's an attack on one culture, and not another. Imagine you've got a community that is 50% young, affluent, white Americans, and 50% Australian Aboriginies, straight from the bush. And one day, you pass a law that says no one is allowed to watch reruns of Friends. That would clearly be an anti-Whitey policy, because it affects one group, and not another. No matter the intent, that is the reality of the situation.
Jack is even OK with the dress code itself. He says he'll wear suits. I'll take it a step farther than he will... the whole thing looks to me like David Stern declaring that one culture is better than another. In effect, he's saying that this group of people wears these things, this group of people wears different things, and this one group is more valid and more respectable than the other group, and he has deemed the first group unacceptable. Bugs the hell out of me.
Deadspin does Stephen A.
The guys from Deadspin.com took a field trip to a taping of Quite Frankly the other day, and were kind enough to file a report on the experience. Will even got on the air with his appropriately lame question about how the Rams will react with Mike Martz not being on the sidelines.
It's a quality read... especially the parts about just how unnatural and uncomfortable Stephen A. really is in front of a camera:The "3 & Out" segment that starts the show - in which Smith screams angrily into the camera about the news of the day - took three reshoots while we were there, and they weren't just of the "flub" variety; he took different approaches each time, like he was still feeling out the process. It was, at times, uncomfortable to watch.
Here it be.
10.18.2005
More Viking seamen
Just to update the situation, a list of Vikings has been released as the ones who were on the S.S. One and Four. The list includes Daunte Culpepper, Bryant McKinnie, and of course, Fred Smoot. Also on board were Jermaine Wiggins, Nate Burleson, Troy Williamson, Travis Taylor, Koren Robinson, and Darren Sharper.
Of course, that doesn't imply that any of these individuals were actively taking part in the naughty nautical misadventures. People who were there say that some of the Vikings were apologetic about the whole thing and embarrassed by their teammates behavior.
But check this out, from the Minneapolis Star-Tribune: Crew members reported that some players allegedly engaged in public sex acts, drank heavily and propositioned female crew members. The sex was apparently consensual, and some was photographed as passengers watched and cheered, Doyle said.
I guess some fans really do support their favorite players in all ventures. Hey, I love the Chargers as much as anyone... and if you like Doug Flutie, sure, buy the Flutie Flakes. But, and maybe I'm alone in this, I just have no desire to get on a boat and stand and applaud while Toniu Fonoti lays the pipe to an Atlanta hooker. I love Drew Brees, but I don't want to see him walking around a boat jerking himself off. I support Quentin in doing some Jamming, but only at the line of scrimmage. I want nothing to do with his jamming of any other kind.
They watched and cheered? I just can't get over that. I mean, I don't even like getting autographs... let alone standing in an area where there's a chance that you could be doused with bodily fluids. Any situation you find yourself in as a fan that affords you a better opportunity of getting a semen sample than an autograph, you probably should just walk away from. My God... what wrong turn has your life taken when you're watching your favorite athletes fuck, and you're watching and cheering them on? That's a little distressing. Did anyone make signs? "GIVE HER THAT PEPPER, DAUNTE!" Or perhaps, "KOREN-HOLE HER!" Did anyone do the wave? Were there high-fives afterwards?
Anyway, those photographs are going to see the light of day sooner or later. And that day will be awesome. It will also probably be the first day in which I have featured hardcore pornography on this website.
And there's this from the St. Paul Pioneer Press:One of the players estimated that 30 strippers were present and that teammates knew in advance the women would be there. But both players insisted they had no indication beforehand that sex was in the offing.
And..."It was like a bachelor party," one of the players said.
Yeah, because I always go to bachelor parties that have 30 strippers present. That's not even how I describe the average bachelor party I attend so much as I'd just describe it as "Tuesday."
I think that's one of the big differences here. A normal party for an NFL millionaire, and a normal party for MJD, are two very different things. This kind of thing is probably normal for them.
My adidas
Jerry Nichols' adidas will not be walking through concert doors, nor will they roam all over coliseum floors.
Nichols, Arkansas State's leading returning scorer, tore his ACL in 2001 while wearing a pair of adidas. He either belives that the shoes had something to do with the injury, or he's got some kind of mental thing about putting another pair of adidas on his feet... but either way, he's not going to do it.
The administration said "Hey, wear adidas, or you can sit your ass on the bench." And his ass is now firmly planted on the bench, and he's not moving it until he can play in something other than adidas.
Last year, the team wore Nikes... but their Nike deal expired and now the school has a contract with adidas. Contracts with big money companies are the type of things that school administrators take quite seriously.
As you might have guessed, I'm siding with the kid on this one. Who knows whether the adidas he was wearing back at a JuCo in 2001 had anything to do with his tearing his ACL. And unless he was wearing them Run DMC style with no laces, I doubt they were. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that he believes that they were, and in his mind, asking him to put an another pair is tantamount to asking him risk injuring his ACL again.
It might not be completely rational thinking on his part, but suffering an ACL tear is a pretty terrible and traumatic thing. If it causes a guy to develop some kind of a mental block, I think he's entitled to it. If you're a passenger in a turquoise Ford Windstar when it goes careening over a cliff and you shatter your pelvis... you might have some reservations about getting in another turquoise Ford Windstar, and I wouldn't blame you.
Yeah, the team has a contract with adidas... but I'd suggest that they also entered into a contract with Nichols when they agreed to give him a scholarship, and he agreed to play basketball there. At the time, I'm sure he was under the impression that he could wear Nikes, and now, in his senior year, they're telling him he can't.
And he might sue. "If I have to miss this whole senior season for some shoes, why wouldn't I [sue]?" Nichols said. "I have done too much this summer, working out, staying up here all summer to waste a year. So if it has to come to a legal issue then I will."
I don't know why they just want let him wear whatever kicks he wants, put some tape over the Nike logo or something, and just move on. I'm sure the folks at adidas are really concerned that one kid at the powerhouse Arkansas State program might not be pimping their shoes on a nightly basis. Now, they've got the guy on ESPN.com talking about how adidas were responsible for tearing his ACL a few years ago. Yeah, that's good business.
This one seems pretty simple. Let the kid wear the shoes he wants, save him the emotional trauma, save the university from looking like evil dictators, and save adidas from any publicity that suggests that their shoes tear ACLs. And it's also probably the right thing to do. So, you know... Just do it.
Bruschi to begin practicing today
Tedy Bruschi is returning the football field just ten months after suffering a mild stroke. He says he's OK, doctors say he's OK, and that's enough for him. He'll be on the practice field today as a member of a .500 football team.
Any conversation about whether or not Tedy Bruschi is doing the right thing by coming back should take place in a doctor's office. There's an urge to say, "Hey, you had a stroke, just let it go." But doctors say he's 100% healthy, he's not at any additional risk, and that he can play football as safely as anyone else. Unless you're a doctor with an educated opinion, I think that's where the discussion begins and ends. And judging from the picture, Tedy Bruschi has apparently been smoking something fantastic.
So hey, best of luck to him... unless he ends up playing against the Chargers in the playoffs, in which case, I would encourage any and all Chargers offensive linemen to punch him directly in the heart, or to sneak a cattle prod onto the field and zap him with it.
Alright, I didn't mean that. I apologize. Please don't punch Tedy Bruschi in the heart. Or zap him with a cattle prod.
But in all seriousness, Bruschi is a special player, and the Pats need him. I think if they were 6-0 or 5-1, there wouldn't be such a big hurry for him to get back. But Denver just carved them up like a Christmas ham, and they need all the help they can get. He's one of those rare guys with a knack for being around the ball and coming up with the big play when it's needed, and it'll be good to see him back on the field.
Rocky VI is happening
The original Rocky cracks my Top 5 of all-time, so it's difficult to see the entire franchise sullied with bad sequels... but you know, at a certain point, it becomes impossible to sully something any further. Saying that another sequel is going to damage the original Rocky franchise is kinda like saying that another sex tape would really hurt Tonya Harding's image. The damage has been done.
Anyway... here's a quote about the movie:"Rocky Balboa" is the next story in the saga of Philadelphia boxer Rocky Balboa, one of Hollywood's most beloved characters. In the film, Rocky has long since retired but is drawn back to the boxing ring one last time. On the way he is challenged by a powerful new champion, by personal tragedy and ultimately by himself.
Oh, you mean like Rocky V? Because that one didn't work out too well for anyone. As it turned out, Tommy Morrison was not the charismatic box office sensation that everyone thought he would be.
Also, Adrian is dead. Talia Shire may still be in the movie in flashbacks or something, but Adrian Balboa is dead... which is too bad, cuz I always had a soft spot for her. I really need to find a shy hidden gem of a girl working in a filthy pet shop. Anyway, in a stunning upset, Paulie has outlived his sister, and Burt Young is being dusted off to reprise the Paulie role in Rocky VI. I'm waiting to hear that Apollo Creed had his head frozen Ted Williams style, and will also be returning for Rocky VI. It would also be nice to see Ivan Drago living in the apartment downstairs from Rocky, working as a DJ in a Philadelphia-area techno dance club.
The first step towards the annual college football clusterfuck
There's really not a lot of space between the first four teams. USC has a "BCS Average" of 0.9923, Texas is at 0.9591, Virginia Tech is at 0.9067, and Georgia sports a 0.8933 mark. After that, there's a bit of a drop-off to Alabama at 0.8220, and then another big one down to LSU with 0.7078.
So it seems like there's a little bit of wiggle room at the top, and with things like point differentials and strength of schedule factors, I hope that in the last week of the season, the difference between the #2 and #3 spot somehow hinges on the outcome of the Hawaii vs. San Diego State matchup in the last week of the season. If the "BCS Averages" get any tighter, something absurd like that could happen.
Here's the biggest thing that bothers me about the BCS numbers: They matter. To some douchebag somewhere, these convoluted numbers have assumed a greater significance than something that could actually happen on a football field. What I'm rooting for, and what anyone who favors a rational system of determining the national champion should root for, is another BCS disaster.
Worst-case scenario is for there to be two undefeated teams left at the end of the year. That would represent the BCS people lucking into an ideal outcome, which will further convince them that this giant mountain of elephant shit is an effective system. I want either one undefeated team, and about 11 with 1 loss, or I want 3 or more undefeated teams. Just 2 would be a nightmare.
Here's the official BCS .pdf file with all their official made-up numbers.
Allan Houston retires
It's always a little bit sad when a player, through no fault of his own, becomes kind of a punchline. Especially when it's a really good guy like Allan Houston, who busted his ass to get back from injuries, but just couldn't do it. People, myself included, loved to crack jokes about the Knicks and Allan Houston for the ridiculous gap between his on-court production and his contract.
But hey, it wasn't his fault. No one held a gun to Scott Layden's head and made him give Allan Houston a max deal. In fact, no one was even bidding against the Knicks for his services. The Knicks gave him max dollars out of sheer ineptitude and/or generosity.
So even though he hasn't been an effective player in quite some time, he retires with a pretty decent career and a very healthy bank account. He's 9th all-time on the 3-pointers made list, which is not bad. When he was healthy, he was an almost ideal shooting guard. His skills weren't at the superstar level, of course, but if you had another star on the team, Houston was perfect. He could do anything asked of him offensively, but never demanded the ball. That's useful.
Anyway, best of luck in retirement, Allan Houston.
10.17.2005
Might be a long year for the Raptors
The last time an NBA team lost a preseason game to an international team was in 1998. Eager to get their names in the history books, though, the Raptors lost yesterday to Maccabi Tel Aviv by a score of 105-102.
And then there's this from Raptors coach Sam Mitchell, who's like a more depressed Herm Edwards...
"At some point, we've got to learn," he said to the assembled media. "When that's going to be, I don't know.
"I got nowhere else to go, nothing else to do, but just try to get better. If it kills me, we're going to try to get better. If I have to die trying, then that's what's going to happen. I'll die in the gym."
Are you happy, Rafael Araujo? Are you happy, Loren Woods? You're going to kill your coach. The man is talking about giving his life to make it so that you don't completely suck.
I think the Raptors should somehow work this into their marketing campaign, putting it on billboards and newspaper ads: "RAPTORS BASKETBALL 2006: WE JUST MIGHT KILL SAM MITCHELL."
In defense of the Raps, however, Maccabi Tel Aviv is the best club team in Europe and likely played a lot harder than the NBA guys. One, because they wanted to win a lot more, and two, because, well... they're NBA guys. They don't bust their ass in the regular season, let alone the preseason.
And even with that, the Israeli team had to play their balls off to beat maybe the worst team in the NBA by a scant two points.
"This is history," someone named Green said. "Everybody remembers the game Maccabi played and won against the Washington Bullets 20-something years ago. They are still talking about it. And I'm sure 20 years from now, they will still be talking about this one."
You take your little victories where you can get them, I guess. It probably isn't a whole lot of fun to live in Israel, so hey, if beating the Bullets and the Raptors puts a smile on the faces of people... hey, enjoy it. Remember it as fondly as the time you beat the Ehtiopians in a chicken-wing eating contest.
And the other thing that this makes clear is that the basketball talent in the United States is still, despite what you may have heard, head and shoulders above anywhere else in the world. Their best club team against our worst, and they win by two? And they're even allowed to have American players. I'd suspect that if the Raptors do round into their likely-to-be-quite-sad midseason form and give it their best effort, that they could beat the Maccabi team without much of a problem.
Goofy things Peter King said today
"Goofy" is the best word I can come up with to describe Peter King's MMQB... goofy, as in, "somewhat endearingly dorky." I certainly wouldn't say he's dumb, or he's a bad writer, or anything of that nature... because I just don't think any of those things are true. I like reading the MMQB, and I do so every week... but I just can't get past some of the goofiness. He does make some good points from time to time (such as his thoughts on high draft picks in this week's column), but we're not going to focus on that because the goofiness conquers all. I've almost started to grow fond of it. I think I'm going to make this a weekly thing, where I discuss some football issues and Peter King's eccentricities. This week's list...
"This is going to be knee-jerk, it's going to be reactionary, it's going to be borderline scandalous. (And I'm not talking about the brainless Vikings on the party boat either.)"
Later in the MMQB, Peter's "Quote of the Week" is from Zygi Wilf about the Orgy on Lake Minnetonka.
And several paragraphs later...
"5. I think new Minnesota owner Zygi Wilf knows what he has to do. He has to fire them all, and he has to do it on Jan. 2, 2006, the day after this shipwreck (certainly no pun intended, and there's been far too much light made of this story in the press, by the way) of a season."
I agree that that's what Zygi Wilf has to do, but... didn't Peter make at least two other references to the Vikings situation before criticizing the media for making too much light about it? If you can't make fun of an NFL team turning a cruise into a sex romp, what can you make fun of?
"In (Washington defensive coordinator Gregg) Williams' system, journeyman Warrick Holdman is a better fit as his strongside linebacker and is ahead of (LaVar) Arrington on the depth chart. Where exactly is the need for a free-lancing linebacker?"
If all Arrington can do at this point in his career is freelance, that's on the coaching staff. He's never had an attitude problem, and he seems like a guy who's willing to be coached. His physical gifts are off the charts. He's a playmaker. And I'm supposed to believe that Warrick Holdman is doing things on the field that Arrington is not capable of, or can't be coached to do? I'm sorry, I can't make that leap.
"When it comes to draft mania, everyone gets sucked in. The LaVar Arrington story suggests we ought to simmer down. Quite a bit."
So I can assume that there will be no kind of articles about the draft coming from Peter King in April?
In the Fine Fifteen... 2. San Diego (3-3)."
In Week 2, the Chargers lost to the team behind them at #3, Denver. Last week, they lost to the team at #6, Pittsburgh. A win over the Raiders earns them the spot at #2? Odd.
"13. Seattle (4-2). Best late game next Sunday: Dallas at Latteland."
Latteland? Does it get goofier than that?
As one of the things he liked about this week: "j. Santana Moss. He's making beautiful music with Mark Brunell."
Are they a QB/WR combo, or a young couple exploring the pleasures of love and romance?
As one of the things he didn't like about this week: "f. Pittsburgh's depth. Or lack thereof."
Without their two best players, and with a QB performance so bad that it made Ryan Leaf cringe, the Steelers still came damn close to beating the Jaguars, who are probably in the upper-half of teams in the NFL. I'd say it was more impressive than unimpressive.
"a. Why is UConn in a the same conference with Cincinnati and Louisville?"
Well, where do you want them to be? What's the issue here? Geography? Without checking mapquest, I'm going to guess that Boston College is farther away from any ACC team than UConn is from Cincinnati. What conference do you want them to be in? What makes more sense than the Big East? Exactly what in the goofy hell are you talking about, Peter?
"d. Coffeenerdness: Stumbled into a fine new coffee place over the weekend in Houston -- Diedrich's. Had a superb, ultra-espresso-laced latte. The darker the better."
Peter likes his coffee like he likes his women. Large, dark, and about $10 a pop.
"e. It was a weekend to end all weekends, basically. First U2 on Friday at Madison Square Garden, then on Saturday I saw Clemens-Astros-Cards, then Sunday at the Michael Vick Show."
First, you are the luckiest bastard in the history of the planet. Secondly, the reviews are in from the Michael Vick Show:
11/23, 112 yards, 1 TD, 1 interception, against the New Orleans defense.
Quite a show.
f. I really miss House."
Well, that makes one person. I hope you'll be OK until the DVDs are out, Peter. Hang in there, buddy. I know you can get through this.
Smorgasbord, Week 6
This week's Sunday Afternoon Smorgasbord is up for your Monday reading pleasure. Enjoy.
Wie be disqualified
Ouch. Hard not to feel for her on this one. I'd guess that Michelle Wie spent a good portion of her Sunday in tears, and I feel for her. I mean, this was probably the biggest day of her life to this point. To have it go so wrong... I mean, I'm a grown man, and I know I'd be crying like Dick Vermeil being interviewed by Barbra Walters. This is a 16-year-old girl... she's gotta be hurting.
I'm not suggesting that she was wronged in some way, but still, this was harsh. She made some an illegal drop that put her closer to the hole (she says by about three inches, some rules officals say by about a foot), and was disqualified after finishing fourth and signing an incorrect scorecard, coughing up about $53,000.
Be it 3 inches or a foot, it's not that big of a deal and probably didn't make a difference in her score. But golf is different. Golf is the one sport in which you do not cheat. Anyone who plays records their own scores on their honor. I know it's different for professionals who have 20 cameras following them, but it's still the culture of the game. The least little bit of cheating cannot be tolerated. That's just how golf is.
She didn't try to cheat. She was not trying to gain an advantage, and after the round, she gets blindsided with this. Let the tears flow. I hope she can find a way to fight through this until next Sunday when she can cash the next big fat check.
Brett Hull retires after five games
Let me see if I understand this... Ricky Williams retires before the season starts, and he's a quitter, loser, and someone who's bailing out on his teammates. Brett Hull retires 5 games into the season because he figures out that he's not very good anymore, and he's still a good guy? Oh, okay.
I just find it odd. I mean, Brett Hull seeing that he can't do it anymore and retiring, that's fine. But he can't figure that out during training camp? That didn't become clear to him in the preseason? He couldn't have done this at a time when the Coyotes front office wouldn't have had a few more options for filling that hole in the line-up? It's not like he just lost his abiilty this week... if it was gone now, it was gone a month ago.
It just seems to me like he made a commitment to the Coyotes for the year, and he's quitting. I mean, I feel for him... it's gotta be so painful to realize that you just can't do it anymore, and ultimately, sure, it's the best thing, because it opens up a spot for a younger guy, but... it seems like this was handled pretty poorly and selfishy. It's the timing that bothers me.
10.14.2005
Thug Life Milicic finally collared
In a clear indication that he is ready to become an NBA superstar, Darko Milicic was arrested yesterday.
The charges? Breaking & entering, assault & battery, arson, double homicide, and littering; for when he reached into a dude's chest, pulled his still-beating heart out, took a bite, and spit it on the sidewalk.
Okay, I made all of that up. Darko was arrested for driving on a suspended license, which stemmed from his not paying a couple of parking tickets. He was initially pulled over for having windows that were illegally tinted. Reporters caught up with him as he was leaving the police station.
"I BE ILLEGAL TINTIN', BITCH," Milicic screamed after being released on $100 bail. "I don't be givin' a fuck about no window tintin', no bust-ass parkin' tickets, or none of that. Y'all need to back up off me and respect my gangsta. THUG LIFE, MY N---GAS," he yelled at no one in particular while pounding his chest.
Asked how he intended to pay the parking tickets, Darko responded, "Straight cash, homey."
Alright, I made all of that up, too.
Romanowski tells '60 Minutes' he used steroids
Also, Liberace was gay.
Chad Johnson and Pac Man Jones both have endzone dances planned
Johnson says his celebration this week will have a "country theme," since he's in Nashville. For his part, Pac Man Jones says that if he happens to score, he has a celebration planned, too.
It's a pretty brilliant thing for a receiver to do. People love it. It gets them ink. And while I often find them amusing, y'know, if I was a teammate, I'm not sure I'd be thrilled about it.
I don't want to go all old-school on you... but it just seems so selfish. Believe me, the River Dance made me laugh as much as the next guy, and my argument is not about the sanctity of the game, or respecting his opponents, or anything else. It's about his own teammates. I mean, there are 11 guys on the field. If any one of them fails to do their job, Chad Johnson probably doesn't score his touchdown.
You've got the line blocking. Backs staying in to pick up the blitz. Other receivers running decoy routes, drawing defenders away. You've got the pass itself from the quarterback. And Chad Johnson, or Terrell Owens, or Randy Moss, or any of these guys, they happen to be the one who catches the pass and scores, they have the nerve to tell their teammates to stay away from them so they can celebrate. That's always kind of irked me.
Imagine being a lineman... you're 38 years old, your knees and back are shot, you need 47 tranquilizers and a six cortisone shots to play every Sunday. You're busting your ass trying to keep Warren Sapp (or even a good player) out of the backfield, and everything finally clicks, and the team scores a touchdown. You run up to your teammate to congratulate him and celebrate... and he's like, "Wait, get three yards away from me so I can do this dance, get on SportsCenter and get some endorsement money. And then I'll have time for a hug from you, but don't squeeze too hard. Thanks for the block, though, and I really hope you can walk for the rest of your life."
Bugs me.
But, that said... I'm not Chad Johnson's teammate, and I can't deny that I'd like to see both Johnson and Pac Man score so I can see their celebrations.
Just because I promised...
Alex Rodriguez is a pussy. Discuss.
I have evidently infringed on someone else's intellectual property rights
Longtime readers may recall that I had a little shop set up at CafePress.com, where I sold t-shirts, hats, bumper stickers, things of that nature. Well, I didn't actually sell many... in fact, I haven't seen a dime. Anyway...
I hadn't thought about any of it in months, and I get an e-mail yesterday from the CafePress.com people stating that they had to take down one of my items because someone else is claiming that it infringed on their intellectual property rights. I'm not going to name the company, but they apparently have something to do with college athletics and their licensing... things of that nature.
The item in question was a t-shirt that said, in a plain font, "i went to a colorado football game and all i got was forcefully sodomized." There were no logos, no mascots mentioned, nothing of the sort. I posted it soon after the Katie Hnida/Every-Other-Female-in-Colorado rape incidents, I wasn't happy with the responses of Gary Barnett and the people at Colorado and I thought the shirt was sort of a funny way to take a little jab at them.
Now, I don't care about having to remove it. I took down the t-shirt, the image, all of that. And I have no desire to put them back up. But I'm just wondering, and maybe someone who's involved with law can tell me... is that really an infringement? Can the words "colorado football game" not appear at all on an unlicensed t-shirt?
I dunno. I know nothing of the law in this area, or any other. Any thoughts?
10.13.2005
The Ombudsman checks in
I haven't noticed much of a difference in ESPN since hiring Ombudsman (I love that word) George Solomon, but I do like his articles on ESPN.com, if only because they help me find dumb things ESPN did that I might have missed.
My two favorites from this week...On Oct. 1, according to the Chicago Tribune, sideline reporter Holly Rowe lauded Purdue defensive coordinator Brock Spack for using all three timeouts on defense despite trailing by four touchdowns late in the game. "If the coaches are giving up," Rowe added, "what does that say to the players?" Play-by-play commentator Ron Franklin responded: "Holly, it's not giving up. It's 49-21, sweetheart." Franklin's comment, and demeaning tone, in response to Rowe's legitimate observation was disrespectful to the audience and to a colleague. "It was an inappropriate comment, and we've communicated that to Ron," said Mo Davenport, senior coordinating producer for college football. "There's never a reason to say something so mean-spirited. Ron apologized. We dealt with it internally."
The emphasis added there is mine, but geez, George... not a lot of faith in the ESPN personalities? That seemed a little harsh, there. I, for one, am not ruling out the possibility of Stephen A. Smith becoming the most rational and respected sports journalist of our time. He's like a young Dick Schaap... only he aggressively seeks in inflict pain and discomfort on the entire viewing audience.
Finally, what was Woody Paige thinking last month when, on "Cold Pizza," he spat on a Florida State hat in a Friday college football setup before Florida State's game at Boston College? Paige's act drew complaints from hundreds of startled viewers who could not comprehend an ESPN regular doing something so disrespectful to a university on television. Paige was quick to apologize, saying, "I blew it and got into trouble."
My take: Too many of ESPN's talking heads believe they need to say something -- or, in this case, do something -- outrageous to stand out from the pack. I'm not calling for a return to the scholarly "Meet the Press" tone of the '50s, but more thoughtful consideration of ideas and words might improve the temperature of our debates. Like that's going to happen.
As for Woody Paige... I dunno. Anyone spending any time criticizing what he does is fairly pointless. I mean, if you have a 4-year-old, and he brings home a fingerpainting from preschool, is there any use in telling him that it sucks? Woody Paige is probably a very nice guy, but... y'know, dude was on TV eating dog food last week. At this point, it is what it is, and all you can do is just shake your head and accept it.
And I love Ron Franklin calling Holly Rowe "sweetheart." That's not disrespectful or condescening or anything like that. I bet Ron Franklin is a huge Joe Namath fan. I think Ron Franklin is a pretty decent commentator, but I can see him functioning quite well in the 1950s, slapping his secretary on the ass and saying, "You're prettier when you don't talk. Why don't you go get me a beer, doll."
These uniforms look very toit. Yes, toit like a toiger. Yesh Yesh Yesh.
Apparently, the Maloof brothers were sitting together at courtside at some point last season, and Joe pointed at Peja Stojakovic and said to Gavin, "Can I paint his yoo-hoo gold? It's kinda my thing." And sadly, Dr. Evil was not there to say, "How 'bout NO... ya crazy Dutch bastard."
So now we have the Sacramento Kings wearing a shiny gold jersey, the same shade that was proudly sported by Goldmember. I actually don't have a problem with them, mostly because I think the Kings (or anyone else's) purple-and-black color scheme is embarassingly lame, and anything that gets them away from that is OK with me. I just find it amusing that there's a full column in the Sacramento Bee about how the uniforms seem to be inspired by Goldmember. Dutch hater.
But I applaud to Maloofs for their bold vision and politely ask that they invite me to the Palms for some kind of a crazy orgy... where I will have an Amsterdam good time. I think the NBA doesn't have enough metatllic, shiny, combustible-looking jerseys. Anyone remember those things that the Mavericks wore for one game that looked like they were made out of sliced-up mylar baloons? I liked them. But they made one appearance, were hated by everyone in Dallas, and were never to be seen again.
NBA is like three weeks out, by the way. I'm getting wood.
Coach K for Team USA
I still think that there was one, and only one, good choice for the head basketball coach of the 2008 Olympic Team... and it was not Coach K. It should have been Mike D'Antoni.
Don't get me wrong, I think Coach K is a pretty great basketball coach. But with naming him, there are still major question marks. How will NBA guys respond to a college coach, particularly one who can be the yelling/screaming/hardass type? How much does Coach K know about adapting to the style of international basketball? And will he put Christian Laettner on the team?
If you named D'Antoni, you get a guy who knows the international game inside and out, and has the clout of an NBA coach of the year award behind him. Nothing against Krzyzewski, but this should have been an easy choice. Maybe he wasn't interested, maybe Jerry Colangelo didn't want to take him away from the Suns. But if he was available, it should have been him.
Incidentally, Peter Vecsey dropped a little note the other day about the possibility of Coach K completely taking a year off from Duke to concentrate on his Team USA duties. It was probably one the many things that Vecsey makes up, but we'll see.
I can't wait for the forthcoming article by Dick Vitale, by the way, that lauds this as the greatest decision ever made in the history of mankind. The over/under on exclamation points: 7 and a half.
It does not suck to be Tony Parker
If I had known that one of the perks would be ramming my head into Eva Longoria's wet ass, I'd have spent a lot more time in my youth trying to become a French point guard. Oui.
Gracias, YaySports.
10.12.2005
The Love Boat - Minnesota Viking Style
Picked up from the Sports Frog, this one... is fantastic. At least 17 Minnesota Vikings players have been identified as initiating a giant orgy on a cruise. There were two yachts, with more than 90 people on them. At a certain point, the Vikings took over and just started pumpin' and sweatin', anywhere they felt like. What was supposed to be a 3 and a half hour cruise was forced ashore just 40 minutes into it after various Vikings started whipping out their cocks and a woman on the cruise called police to report "possible prostitution, drugs and live sex acts" on the two boats.
Some quotes from the article in the Minneapolis Star Tribune...The crew members, including one who was 18, were "petrified" for their safety, Doyle said.
And from the St. Paul Pioneer Press...
Doyle said behavior on the cruise included oral sex, masturbation and playing with sex toys.
A source with direct knowledge of the case said Tuesday that accounts of Vikings players having public sex on at least one of the boats matched with what witnesses had reported.
The source said that it appeared that the sex acts took place between consenting adults and that no felony-level crimes had been committed. The source said that it was likely that misdemeanor charges involving lewd behavior could be filed against some players within a week."They were out for a bit, and then the crew was serving drinks and hors d'oeuvres and stuff," he said. "I think the first thing they noticed was some of the women that were on board seemed to be either changing clothes or undressing. And then they went into a galley, and there were three of them in the nude that were changing clothes. That was followed by them coming out and some of them doing lap dances... That's where it started, and then it just progressed to just bizarre."
Well, y'know, you have to snap out of a slump somehow. In Bull Durham, they broke into a field, turned on the sprinklers and slid around in the mud. The Vikings got on a cruise and turned it into a giant orgy. We all have our different ways of going about things.
Doyle said the crew, in accordance with company policy, reported what was happening to the captain of each boat, who called the home base and were told to return.
"Now they're still 40 minutes out, and they're getting frightened," Doyle said. "Some of the Vikings are yelling at the waiters and waitresses... and wanting drinks faster and trying to take over parts of the bar, trying to pour their own drinks... It's just really bizarre, bad, terrible behavior.
"Like I said, these kids are petrified. They're afraid for their own safety. There are people doing sexual acts with toys in the middle of the floor. They're on a boat here, having to walk around and serve a drink, afraid to stop serving drinks because they're afraid that people will hurt them. It's just really unacceptable what they did - the arrogance and the rudeness and all of those things combined.
"They get them into the dock and eventually get off the boat. We're talking about a scene with used condoms on the boats laying around, handy wipes used by the women laying around, drinks thrown and poured in places. It's amazing."
The one player that's been identified as having reserved the charter is Fred Smoot.Contacted Tuesday afternoon, Smoot said the allegations are exaggerated.
Fred Smoot once said that 75% of the earth is covered by water, and the rest is covered by Smoot. Now, he's apparently branching out spread the Smoot over water, too.
"It's slanderous," he said. "If (Doyle is) bringing my name up like this, I'm going to sue them. Other than that, I ain't got nothing else to say."
Asked if he was denying involvement in the alleged incidents, Smoot said, "It ain't even what they're talking about."
Potentially embarrassing tories like this one usually get ignored on pregame show's like NFL Countdown. But this one is getting some major ink in the Minnesota newspapers. I can't wait for more details to surface, and to see how they handle it this weekend. On Sunday morning, I just really want to hear Chris Berman ask Michael Irvin how a mid-week orgy affected his performance on the field... because you know he has an answer.
Amare and the microfracture
Microfracture surgery doesn't sound all that intimidating, until you look at the list of former NBA studs that have had the surgery...
- Allan Houston
- Jamal Mashburn
- Chris Webber
- Penny Hardaway
We will now pause while Suns head coach Mike D'Antoni swallows his own tongue. The last name on that list is particularly frightening. Suns fans may remember a time when they gave Penny Hardaway a huge contract, he never really recovered from the microfracture surgery, and now people think more fondly of Lil Penny than they do of Big Penny. The surgery also didn't do a lot for Terrell Brandon, Alvin Williams, or Eduardo Najera.
As Marc Stein points out, the one thing that Amare has going for him is that he's Amare. He's young, strong, and physically, an absolute freak of nature. A recovery time of four months might be a little ambitious, but if anyone on the earth is going to make a full and complete recovery from the thing, Amare's in pretty good position to do so.
Best of luck, big fella.
Insanity maintains a firm grip on Ron Artest
Some fine quotes from Ron-Ron as the NBA gets the preseason underway...
"I'm going to continue playing hard and out of control, like a wild animal that needs to be caged in. I'll let the referees handle it."
Lucky refs. But you know, if you're Rick Carlisle, you have to love hearing that. Wild animal... that's his style. That's what he does. As a basketball player, I absolutely love the guy. He's one of the players that I would gladly pay to watch basketball. I have always contended that when he's playing well, he's among the Top 10 players in the game. He can score in a variety of different ways, he doesn't play selfishly with the ball, he's a monster defensively, can guard three or four positions, his physical style sets a tone and inspires teammates, and the intimidation factor is off the charts. There's never been anyone else like him. Also, he's absolutely fucking crazy.
"I don't think anybody's going to throw anything at me, and I don't see me reacting how I reacted."
Well, I agree there... I don't see anyone throwing anything at Ron Artest this year. And if someone does, they have bigger balls than I do. Especially since Ron is now tipping the scales at 260, and says he wishes he was at 280. I'll never ever condone a player going into the stands, but... y'know, if you're an NBA fan who likes to throw things, you've been sufficiently warned. If you throw something at Ron Artest, he may attack and kill you, and you won't be able to say that you didn't see it coming.
Indiana has the potential to be as good as anyone, and that includes San Antonio, Detroit, and Miami. The pieces are in place. It'll be interesting to see how they play early in the season without Reggie. As a basketball player, at this age, it's easy to replace Reggie. But the Pacers will need to find an idendity and a leader, and it may take a while for that to shake itself out. But at the end of the year, they'll be among the handful of teams that have a legitimate shot to bring home the trophy.
Owens wears a Cowboys jersey in Dallas
Andy Reid's saying it's no big deal, and ultimately, it probably isn't. You've got to pick your battles with TO, and his postgame attire is something you should probably let slide, especially when a major blowup is due at any second. Andy Reid and the Eagles staff would be wise to save their anger for his forthcoming public request for Donovan McNabb to get his ass to a surgeon right about now.
But still... putting on a Cowboys jersey for the plane ride home from a beating at the hands of the Cowboys? Why? I get that he loves Michael Irvin... I get that he loves wearing throwbacks, and all that is fine. But come on. Wear it in the offseason. Wear it on some random Wednesday in June. Wear it during your next tear-filled interview with Michael Irvin on Countdown.
You know I'm no fan of dress codes... but this one's a little bit different. This is an attempt from Terrell Owens to needle his teammates, needle the organization, and get his name in the paper. I don't think this one is happening if Owens isn't mad at the organization. He's not dumb... he knows this will get attention, he knows it will rub people the wrong way. It sends the message that he's not loyal to the Eagles, and that he's going to do whatever he wants to do. He knows that message is being sent. That's why he did it.
10.11.2005
Melanin in Hockey
If you're like me and you wish that there were more brothers in hockey (or anywhere else, for that matter), you can track your favorite pigmentally-blessed skaters players here.
AOL's Black Voices sports section tracks the progress of the black players in the NHL... all 12 of them... on one handy and convenient site. I'd love to buy an NHL team and get them all together. We might be lacking in talent and depth, but our team unity would be off the charts. We'd be like the movie Glory.
My favorite on the list is a guy who once led my fantasy hockey team to a title, Rangers goalie Kevin "I've Been Fucking Your Mother For" Weekes.
I just wanted to say that. Sorry.
Dick Butkus... giant douche
My favorite Butkus of all-time will remain, of course, Rocky Balboa's dog. Dick Butkus, apparently, is a loser.
Butkus was on some ESPN reality show, taking over a high school program for one year, seeing if he can lead them to greatness. I guess the team used to be really good, and now they suck, and they think Butkus can lead them back to the promised land.
So how'd that go for him? Well, he led them to a 1-6 record, and now he's quitting with two games left in the season.
Butkus's contract was only for 8 games, and apparently, that requirement has been met, so he's bailing. More evidence that Dick was really in it for the kids..."I understood most of the stuff he was saying," Montour senior linebacker Morgan Singletary said. "But at times, it was awkward the way he would yell at us. He wouldn't really talk to us at all during practice, then he'd come out and start yelling at us at the end. That was awkward."
Well said, Morgan. And all of this comes after he lectured the kids time and time again on the virtues of working hard and having a good attitude.
Why can't he hang around for a couple more weeks? What, is he busy? Does he have a guest appearance coming up on Jim Belushi's ABC sitcom or something? Is he signing autographs outside of a JC Penney in Des Moines? Is he a special guest at a boat show at the Duluth mall this weekend?
Or maybe he just got a paycheck and get his mug on TV at the expense of the high school football careers of some kids, and when there was nothing left in it for him, he quit. Maybe it was one of those things.
MJD on Sports Bloggers Live radio
Big thanks to Jamie Mottram of Sports Bloggers Live radio show on AOL, and also of the Mister Irrelevant sports blog, for having me on his radio show last night. You can stream the show directly here, or you can download the podcast (which is just a big .mp3 file) here.
I really recommend listening to the whole show, as they do a very solid broadcast... I was a little underprepared, and it was sometimes a little hard to hear everything on the cell phone, so it sounds like I'm completely ignoring the woman on the show, which was not my intention. Anyway, listen to the whole thing, but if you're only interested in the MJDeliciousness, you can skip ahead to about the 20:30 mark on the stream.
Jamie, by the way, was also rolling hard on ESPN2's Cold Pizza this morning, talking about sports blogs... you can read about his appearance at his Mister Irrelevant site.
By the way, on an unrelated note about Cold Pizza, I saw a segment this morning that I'm sure Dana Jacobsen was proud of. I don't know how much feminism Dana Jacobsen is into, but it was a little disconcerting for me to watch a woman introduce the "Hooters Hot Hits" segment, which was David Banner's song "Play," which might just be the absolutely filthiest song of all-time, and I'm not kidding about that. He did an edited version on the show, of course, but the unedited version... well, it's not doing the women of the world any favors. They couldn't have pawned that one off on Jay Crawford? Dana couldn't have been proud of herself at the moment.
Virginia cheap shot artist gets a one-game suspension; is sent to his room without dessert
One game? That's all he got, one game? He got off easier than OJ, man. You can take a blatant dive at someone's knees, far away from the play, while the guy is already limping, and just get a one-game suspension? Judge Harry Stone used to give out stiffer punishments to foul-mouthed barbershop quartets on Night Court.
That is not what I had in mind when I suggested that you step up, University of Virginia. Let's break down the Cavalier response..."Brad crossed the line and for that he must take accountability," Virginia Coach Al Groh said in a statement released by the school last night. "We have talked in detail and he has assured me that his actions on the play at issue were a result of over-aggressiveness and over-exuberance to block a challenging opponent and without malice. His intent was to take the player to the ground, not to inflict injury. In any case, we regret that the incident occurred and apologize to Mathias."
If you really believe that, Al Groh, and you aren't just saying the things that you think you should say... then why apologize to Kiwanuka? If you really believe that your guy had no malice, then why apologize?"Brad is a hard-working and aggressive lineman who has no pattern of unsportsmanlike play; his history is one of playing by the rules on and off the field," Virginia Athletic Director Craig Littlepage said in a statement. "He stated it was not his intention to hurt anyone during Saturday's game and our hope is that the entire Boston College team will understand this."
Oh, I think they'll understand, Craig. I think they'll understand that you are your athletic department are completely wussing out on this, and I think they'll understand that you have no desire to truly disicipline anyone. I just keep looking at the video, and I can't come up with any reason to do what he did, other than an intent to injure. Nothing else makes sense. If Brad Butler beleived that Mathias Kiwanuka was going to make a play right then, then he must believe that Kiwanuka has Inspector Gadget arms that he was about to activate, because he clearly isn't going to make any play. He's yards and yards away from the action. He's hopping on one leg. He was in no better position to make a play on the ball carrier than was the third clarinet player in from the left of the BC marching band.
And Butler says he didn't want to hurt anyone, and the AD says he's a nice guy, so I guess a one game suspension isn't good enough. Other than Al Groh saying that Butler "crossed a line," there's no admission of any wrongdoing whatsoever. What happened look to me like a little bit more than crossing a line.
Butler communicated only through a prepared statement, which read, in part, "I've never been one to play outside of the rules. I was not trying to hurt Mathias Kiwanuka. I was engaged in blocking him because he is the type of player who makes plays all over the field. I regret this event occurred and have put the incident behind me."
Again, he might make plays all over the field, but... y'know, he isn't one of the X-Men. His arms can't grow, and he can't shoot fireballs at anyone. He wasn't about to make a play when you went at his knees, pal.
I'm just not buying any of this. I'd much rather have heard something like, "It was a very physical game, we were going back and forth at each other, and I just lost my cool. I realize I did something terrible, I've embarrassed myself and my program, I apologize personally to Mathias Kiwanuka, and I'll never do anything like that again." That, I would buy. I would at least believe in his sincerity, and would be willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. I'd at least like to hear some real contrition.
But no one at Virginia is saying anything that means anything. It sounds like they have no interest in making sure that their player learns something from this, they have no interest in any admission of wrongdoing or accountability... they're interested only in trying to pretend like it didn't happen.
Steelers 24, Chargers 22
I am 100% biased, of course, and have no reasonable perspective on things, but it seemed like a weird, weird game last night in San Diego. A crazy ruling from the officials, a lot of penalties (though, combined, the Steelers and Chargers still come up short of what the Ravens did yesterday), and two extremely terrible things happening at the end of the game.
The worst thing, of course, was Jeff Reed making that field goal. The second worst thing, though, was the injury to Ben Roethlisberger that you just have to hope isn't as bad as it looked. Luis Castillo, while attempting to pass rush, was knocked to the ground, and his helmet jammed into Roethlisberger's knee, and it looked fairly gross.
The Steelers won, and deserved the win. Said LaDainian Tomlinson after the game, "That was probably the best defense I've faced as far as the run game in my career." That's pretty high praise... I mean, if anyone's qualified to judge, it's him. It's like being a bartender, and having Charlie Sheen tell you that you mix a hell of a screwdriver. You just know he's qualified to judge. LaDainian Tomlinson has spent his entire career as the main target of every defensive coordinator in the league, and if the Steelers D was the best he's ever seen... well, that speaks well for the Steelers.
The immediate concern for the Chargers, however, is that they sit at 2-3, have played a positively brutal schedule, and it isn't going to get a whole lot easier. So far they've played the Cowboys, who just teabagged the Eagles, the Broncos, who are apparently for real, the Patriots and the Steelers. Up next is the Raiders (coming off a bye), and then the Eagles (also coming off a bye). They also have games later against the evidently good Redskins, the Colts, and another one with the Broncos. They're going to have to play all-world football just to make the playoffs.
But back to the Monday night game for a minute... check out the lead from the AP article:SAN DIEGO (AP) -- It's a good thing the Bus is back, because now the Pittsburgh Steelers could be without Ben Roethlisberger.
Is it wrong of me to find that a little bit irresponsible, to suggest that he could be injured and missing time, when at the time this was published, no one had any idea of the severity of the injury? It's almost as bad as Al Michaels, with Roethlisberger on the ground and grabbing his knee, babbling about everything but Roethlisberger, as if it wasn't even happening.
In addition... if he is out for an extended period of time, is Jerome Bettis really going to be key to their success? Not to slight Jerome, but... y'know, with Charlie Batch under center, there might be a few other pressing concerns. Replacing Willie Parker, who was playing at a pro bowl level, might be a little bit less of an issue than Charlie Batch leading the push for the Super Bowl.
And just to mention it, the powder blue uniforms are the most beautiful damn things I've ever seen, and just hanging in a closet by themselves, are more attractive than most women.
10.10.2005
Virginia football player belongs in prison
Courtesy of TechSidline.com, this video shows a University of Virginia football player who shouldn't see the field again this year.
In action that appears to be very far away from the play (and possibly after the whistle), Boston College defensive tackle Mathias Kiwanuka comes up limping after being engaged in a block with Virginia tackle Brad Butler. They disengage, and Kiwanuka is jumping on one leg, trying to protect the other that he just injured... and Butler takes a dive at his knees/ankles.
Kiwanuka is nowhere near the play, and hopping on one leg, clearly unable to do anything that might affect the football game in any way.
I don't know how this could be construed an attempt to do anything other than injure someone seriously. Kiwanuka is arguably the best defensive player in the country, and is probably going to be a Top 5 pick in the next NFL draft... and this cock is going to attempt to cost him his future in football, for no other apparent reason than he just felt like taking out a knee.
Another BC defensive player dove on Butler as soon as he did it (understandably), and he was ejected (rightfully). Later in the game, Kiwanuka hit Butler in the head (not hard enough), and he was ejected. The only thing Butler got was a 15-yard penalty.
I don't know how ACC officials or the Virginia football staff could sleep at night if they didn't punish him in some way. I don't know if I've ever seen anything so blatantly dirty in a football game.
I don't know if Butler just got confused by the colors he was wearing, and thought he was a Denver Bronco, and therefore, obligated to take cheap shots at someone's knees, or what... I don't know if it was pure jealousy of Kiwanuka's ability, or maybe he's just a cold-hearted bastard who enjoys tearing up knees and ankles... I have no idea what he was thinking. I'm sure there are Virginia fans out there who will tell you he's a nice guy, a mild-mannered kid who loves teddy bears and poetry... but hey, no one else did it. It was him. Severe punishment is in order. There's no place for actions like that in football, and the University of Virginia and the ACC shouldn't have any tolerance for it, either.
I don't think he should see the field again this year. And if a coach had anything to do with it, ordering or even suggesting that he take a shot at Kiwanuka's knees... that coach should never see a sideline again. Disgusting incident. Step up and do the right thing, Virginia.
Smorgasbordin'...
The Smorgasbord is up for your reading pleasure...
Pat Tillman would probably not have enjoyed being a prop for the right-wingers
In a long and worthwhile article from the San Francisco Chronicle, some not-so-well-known thoughts emerge about Pat Tillman and what he believed about the war.Interviews also show a side of Pat Tillman not widely known — a fiercely independent thinker who enlisted, fought and died in service to his country yet was critical of President Bush and opposed the war in Iraq, where he served a tour of duty. He was an avid reader whose interests ranged from history books on World War II and Winston Churchill to works of leftist Noam Chomsky, a favorite author.
Now, I don't want to politicize this, either... but it bothers me that Pat Tillman has become a symbol, a rallying point, used by both media types and government types to glorify and justify the war in Iraq. He was a better guy than that, and his life was worth more than that. It seems more and more clear to me all the time that Pat Tillman was an incredibly noble and brave guy with great intentions, moved to selfless action to defend his country from the real terrorists who do indeed exist... but was misled and let down by his government and the armed forces... and now, his family continues to be let down by those same people. The truth is out there somewhere, and it's being hidden from the Tillman family. Interesting read.
Baer, who served with Tillman for more than a year in Iraq and Afghanistan, told one anecdote that took place during the March 2003 invasion as the Rangers moved up through southern Iraq.
"I can see it like a movie screen," Baer said. "We were outside of (a city in southern Iraq) watching as bombs were dropping on the town. We were at an old air base, me, Kevin and Pat, we weren't in the fight right then. We were talking. And Pat said, 'You know, this war is so f— illegal.' And we all said, 'Yeah.' That’s who he was. He totally was against Bush."
And a great find from the SportsFilter.
Darius Rice is not likely to be visiting China again soon
It seems like about once a preseason, some crazy story comes out about a guy who tries to go play basketball in another country, and then has to literally flee the country in the middle of the night.
This year's candidate... Darius Rice. He signed on with some Chinese team (or so they say, his agent claims no contract was ever signed), and when he later got word that the Mavs wanted to bring him in for a tryout, the Chinese weren't thrilled.
According to Rice, they took his passport and wouldn't give it back. They also wouldn't give him any of the money he had previously earned, and stationed officers outside his door to keep him from leaving. When he tried to leave once, some dudes pulled him out of the car and made him stay in his room.
So he waited until late at night, when the security officer fell asleep, and he snuck out. At the front desk, he offered them all the cash in his safe-deposit box in return for his passport... and then handed them an envelope full of paper, bounced with his cash and his passport, and paid off a cabby to keep driving when the hotel called the cab and ordered him to turn around.
But he's back now... good for him. I hope he catches on with an NBA team, or at least an NBDL squad... he's unlikely to be held against his will in Fayetteville.
10.07.2005
In defense of sideline reporters
Jimmy Traina at SI.com wants sideline reporters to be banished. He's got a point, they don't usually add anything worthwhile, unless you've ever played the rousing game of "How many attempts will it take Eric Dickerson to get this sentence out?" with your friends on Monday nights.
But I don't blame the reporters themselves as much as I blame the coaches themselves... or at least, the TV people who believe that either 1) a coach will one day break years of tradition and say something worthwhile, or 2) we want to hear their attempts to say nothing is as many polite words as possible.
I contend that sideline reporting can be useful... but the key is for the sideline reporter to actually be just that, a reporter, instead of what they are now, which should be titled "Sideline Eye Candy/NFL Image Enhancement Specialist."
It's possible for the occupation to be useful. The networks need to stop hiring these hookers with nice breasts and teeth whiter than the backs of Barbara Bush's thighs. Get some people interested in doing real reporting... I want the injury updates, I want to know if the QB is yelling at his linemen between series', I want to know if Rams defenders sit on the bench and make fun of Mike Martz. There are stories to be had there.
And instead of the interview with the coach as he runs off for halftime, try a player. And it can't just be the popular ones like Peyton Manning or Tom Brady... get someone who's having an impact on the game, but maybe isn't necessarily all that media-savvy. If you get a corner who's giving up touchdowns every other play, you just might catch him in the heat of the moment where he'll say something like, "I can't cover that guy one-on-one unless coach lets me use a knife."
I haven't seen him do a game yet this year, but Tony Siragusa does an admirable job on the sidelines for Fox. He's an entertaining guy and can offer solid insights on the football field. Hey, I want to kiss Suzy Kolber as much as any drunk Jets quarterback does, but give me a choice between her and Siragusa on the sidelines, and I'm going with the Goose every time.
Tom Brady is a woman
Apparently, being secure in his team's ability isn't included among the American Express five layers of security, because Tom Brady is acting like ol' girl. He was upset at something vicious that Marty Schottenheimer said about the Patriots. Here it is:"I just think what happened is you've only got 10 fingers to stick in the dike. At what point does it turn the other way? No one can quantify which injury tips the bowl. You can't keep replacing players. At what point in time are you pushed over the edge?"
Wow, that Marty Schottenheimer is one cold-blooded son of a bitch.
I don't know if Tom Brady has a lesbian sister, and he's angry about Marty's guess at how many fingers can fit inside her, or what. But Tom went off to the media yesterday."You don't talk about our team. He has no business talking about our team. He's not our coach. We'll let our coach talk about our team. We'll let our players talk about our team. The only thing that we ever do is give respect to the other teams, because that's what they deserve. They played a good game. They beat us. That's what it is. No more, no less. One game.
If you don't care, why so indignant? Why so skirty?
It depends who is saying it. You've got to have some credibility for it to mean anything. So I think you look at the source and realize how credible it is and if the person really knows what they're talking about. I think someone who is very credible is Coach Belichick, and that's who I listen to. Pretty much anyone other than that, I could care less about.''
What a fucking baby. If anything, Marty was complimenting the Patriots, saying that the Chargers were fortunate to beat them because they got helped out by injuries. You'd have to be a really sensitive, insecure guy to take Schottenheimer's comments as an insult. No one has more respect for the NFL of its players than does Marty Schottenheimer. When's the last time he trash talked anyone? It's never happened. He's old school.
Go hit on Mary Kate Olsen again, Tom... maybe she can make the bad men stop talking about you. Sissy.
Guess who else doesn't like the NBA dress code...
...and you might not be guessing this one correctly. It's Greg Ostertag. Not that I feel in any way that Greg Ostertag's opinion validates mine at all, but I'm posting it for two reasons. One, to show that it isn't exclusively a "hood" issue. And two, he's got a pretty good quote."I don't mind if they clean it up a little bit. But... they can go without them (expletive deleted) sport coats." If coats are required, Ostertag added, "They're going to get the worst-looking one they've ever seen on me... I'll go buy one off a guy on the street."
I think that's a terrific idea. If I was in the NBA, and someone was forcing me to wear a sport coat... well, I'd do my best to make them actually define the term "sport coat." I'd have them made out of crushed velvet. Big, broad pink and yellow stripes. I'd wear something like Michael's jacket in the "Bad" video. I'd have one four sizes too small, and one four sizes too big. I'd have a sport coat made out of light green bathrobe material. I'd have one with flashing lights on the nipple area. I'd make Andre 3000 look like Bob Dole.
And I'd take the hair and jewelry to an extreme, too. Someone out there can come up with a way to be wearing a sport coat and slacks and keep it hood at the same time. Would there be a rule against having "THUG LIFE 'TILL I DIE" embroidered across the back of a sport coat?
I've been thinking some more about the issue, and I just can't change my mind on it. People are people, and while, yes, it isn't a big of deal for a bazillionaire to dress up a little bit, it shouldn't be a big deal if they just want to sit on the bench in warm-ups, either.
10.06.2005
Lakers assistants unveil a new drill
I've seen this before. It was in Baseketball, actually. A guy's about to take a shot, and Remer stands in front of him and masturbates. Apparently they've changed the NBA rules to allow Psyche-Outs now, and Scottie Pippen and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar are on the cutting edge of the coaching technique.
Seriously, I don't know what the hell is going on there. Maybe Kareem and Scottie are just really excited to have Phil Jackson back. Maybe Kwame Brown looks great in purple. Maybe they're hunting little Mexican girls.
I love a happy ending
It's the same old story you've heard a thousand times... 6'10" NBA power forward gets robbed in the parking lot of a Charlotte strip club, has $30,000 worth of jewelry taken from him, and is shot at as he drives away.
But this time, there's a very special happy ending. Bobcats forward Melvin Ely went around to pawn shops looking for the stolen jewelry, found one that had it, and the owner gave it back to him for free. And just as he did, the guy who stole the jewelry from him goes into the pawn shop, sees Melvin Ely, and runs like hell. Heartwarming.
Might this prevent Melvin from hanging out at strip clubs in the future?
"I'm still going to go where I please," Ely said. "I will be careful in some of my decision-making, because I don't want it to reflect bad on the team."
The lesson here is that the human spirit can conquer all adversity. Great story. Compelling and rich.
Gracias, SLAM.
The return of hockey...
I was moderately excited to tune in and see what was going to happen. I wanted to see the new, flashy, souped-up NHL. And I don't know what I had myself convinced that I was going to see, but... it it took about 18 seconds after I tuned in before I was saying to myself, "Hey... this is still just white people on ice skates." Getting back into hockey will not be as easy as I may have anticipated.
I demand to know what happened to Bill Clement's mustache. Huge disappointment. Also a disappointment is Clement himself. He's being used as the studio guy, but not in the Bill Walton role, in the Mike Tirico role. And he's not very good at it. Baffling decision. And if that mustache isn't back in two weeks, I am launching a boycott of the Outdoor Life Network.
The biggest difference with the new rules stems from the endlines being pushed back, and the blue lines being pushed out. It's a bigger area for the offense to work... I'm seeing more cycling, longer forechecking efforts, and more pucks being kept in at the point. It's working.
Hey, there's Jack Edwards. He was an ESPN guy... I wondered what happened to him. His teeth and gums have grown.
Curious about what OLN's coverage is going to be like? It's kind of like a movie I saw once, called "Sloppy Canadian Blowjobs, Volume XIX," only this one had just one scene, starring Bill Clement, Keith Jones, and Neil Smith pleasuring the new NHL for three straight hours. They're all hockey guys, and I understand they want to shill for their sport, but this is just out of hand. No one has said a negative word about anything all night. Marty Brodeur could actually chop Mario Lemieux's right hand off with his stick, and Clement would say, "Well, under the new rules, that'll be a double minor, and boy, is it great to have hockey back or what?" Is no one still mad about the strike? Does anyone even remember it? Remind me about this the next time a league strikes and someone says that the fans won't come back.
This is a sport that has to be much better on HD. Anyone know if OLN even offers it? Do they plan to? I don't know if my TV screen needs cleaned, or if OLN's picture is just bad. It looks fuzzy to me, like they bought some cameras that ESPN threw away back in 1982. This guy named Richards scored a goal for Philadelphia, they had three replays of it, and I was not once able to witness the puck entering the net. It's not a criticism of the sport, but how it translates to TV. The commentators don't even know what's going on until they see it on replay. I can't recall ever seeing hockey in HD. Anyone else? Is it much better?
I am quickly getting tired of the "Thank You Fans" stuff. I don't want to hear it from Gary Bettman, I don't want to see it painted on the ice. If the last two years have proven anything, it's that they do not care about the fans. Bettman and Goodenow cost the fans their game, and then Jeremy Roenick told them to kiss his ass. They screwed the fans with the full knowledge that they'd take it and waddle back and beg for more. Don't act like you're sorry about it, because you're not.
I'm trying not to be a Negative Nancy about this, but... OLN's in-studio crew seems kinda... sucky. Keith Jones and Bill Clement just did some thing where they demonstrated rules changes, and it was the most un-natural thing you've ever seen. And I can't be the only one who noticed the gay overtones. It was weird, and a little uncomfortable. OLN sucks. Just call me Nancy.
Ted Nugent commercials frighten me. I think that guy might be the craziest motherfucker on the planet. I'd feel safer if OJ caught me in his kitchen, right next to the knife drawer, staring lustfully at a picture of Nicole with my pants around my ankles, than I would going hunting with Ted Nugent.
With a couple of Jaromir Jagr goals, the Rangers have taken the lead over the Flyers... and no matter the sport, it's always amusing to me when a Philadelphia team fails.
If you were hoping that the time off had given the athletes sometime to develop personalities, it really has. I can't tell if this is a hockey game, or an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Check out these gems from Steve Ruccin, who was wearing a mic for the Rangers: "Boys, we gotta get on that puck," and "Too many penalties. We can't make it any easier for 'em." Steve Ruccin be wylin'.
10.05.2005
Guess who doesn't like the NBA's dress code...
That would be Allen Iverson. I'll just let him talk."I look back on a lot of the mistakes I made, and I look back at just being young, just not knowing. A lot of times I just reacted instead of thinking, not knowing, but thinking you know everything. I think that's what comes with maturity; I pray every day to become a better person, then a better basketball player.
He's right. We all like to tell the young ones not to judge books by the cover, and then we send the message that you can't be respectable unless you're dressed a certain way. I know that a lot of people buy into that. I know that a lot of people think that wearing a suit means something respectful and honorable. I know that a lot of you are reading this right now and thinking, "That dirty little bastard should just shut up and put on a suit like a civilized human being."
[But] one way I haven't changed is my aggressiveness on the court, and when I feel a certain way about something I still stick to it when I think I'm right. I didn't change the way I dress like they're trying to make me do. I feel that is who I am; I dress to make myself comfortable. I really do have a problem with it. It's not fair.
Just because you put a guy in a tuxedo, it doesn't mean he's a good guy. It sends a bad message to kids. If you don't have a suit on when you go to school, is the teacher going to think you're a bad kid? I never wore a suit going in any park I ever went to when I was coming up. I just came from Japan, where I saw thousands of kids; all of them dressed like me, from the biggest guy to the smallest.
It's just not right. It's something I'll fight for. I promised I wouldn't get up here and try to destroy anybody trying to make that [rule], but it's not right.
I think you're wrong. There's a lot of different cultures out there in which a suit doesn't mean a damn thing. I'm not saying any culture out there is better than any other... but you know, I don't think David Stern and the NBA should be saying that, either.
If the 76ers are playing the Lakers, and you've got Allen Iverson on one bench in a white tee and a whole lot of ice, and Kobe Bryant's on the other bench wearing Armani, which one do you think the youngsters should look up to? Who is David Stern telling them to look up to?
I understand that David Stern has a job, and that job is to sell the NBA to corporate sponsors. He's gotta do what he's gotta do, but I think the rule is fucked.
NHL Power Rankings
The season jumps off tonight with the Rangers (27) vs. The Flyers (4) on the Outdoor Life Network. I had to go through my Channel List last night and find OLN and add it to the list of channels that are available to me. I'm not sure it's worth having it on there... after two weeks of seeing things like, "Gold Prospecting Weekly," and "Let's Kill a Big Damn Moose" on my program guide, the NHL better be buttering my bread for OLN to keep its spot in the rotation.
Anyway, these Canadian guys have Ottawa at #1 in the Power Rankings. At #2 sit the Bruins, and if the city of Boston wins another championship, I'm going to join al-Queda, strap some explosives to my chest, and go blow up the Cheers bar or something. Rounding out the Top 5 are the Canucks, Flyers, and Lightning.
The Penguins are all the way down at #18. Didn't they have some kind of a great offseason? Isn't Mario still there? I thought they'd be higher... at least Top 10. But hey, what the hell do I know. I'm still looking for the Whalers on here.
Rounding out the bottom five, in case you're wondering, are Original Sixers the Blackhawks and Rangers at 26 and 27, the Blues at 28, the Blue Jackets 29 (one of the early favorites to be MJD's favorite team), and at #30, the Washington Capitals. They have a player named Semin.
10.04.2005
More on Ed Curry
The Knicks got Antonio Davis and Eddy Curry, and in return, Isiah sent the Bulls Tim Thomas, Michael Sweetney, and Jermaine Jackson... some draft picks were also involved.
Even if Eddy Curry continues to suck, and I'd estimate that there's about a 65% chance of that happening... I still like the deal for the Knicks. The next time that Tim Thomas is responsible for an NBA team winning anything will be the first time. He's not a bad player, but he's certainly never been a great one, with the exception of a 5-minute stint here or there. He's the kind of guy that the Knicks can be sure that they'll never truly regret losing.
Michael Sweetney is a good player with some potential, but the Knicks can be survive on only three small power forwards. Sweetney's probably a career bench player who can come in and so some scoring down low, kind of like a more post-oriented Corliss Williamson. At this point, he wasn't going to give them much that Mo Taylor, David Lee, and Malik Rose can't.
Jermaine Jackson comes from great bloodlines and does have a slight amount of talent, but he hasn't had a hit since 1984's "Do What You Do." His jheri curl and shiny face will be missed, but let's be honest... if Michael, Randy, Tito, and Marlon aren't around, you can certainly live without Jermaine.
And what the Knicks get out of the deal is a guy with a tremendous NBA body and skill-set, who's still only 23 years old. You can't teach 7-0, 285.
I'm aware that he's never been much for doing the dirty work on the glass, or bothering himself with the annoyances of playing defense. He's playing for Larry Brown now. I'm not saying that Larry's going to make him an All-Star, but if anyone can get it out of him, it's Larry. After all, he was born in America, and thus, it's OK for Larry to give him some playing time.
As for potential downsides... well, let's look at the worst-case scenario for the Knicks, which is different from the worst-case scenario for Eddy Curry. For the Knicks, it's if Curry never develops a work ethic and continues to be the same tower of dead weight that he's been grooming himself to be. The the Knicks are on the hook for $10 million a year for the next six years. That's bad. But hey, it's not like the Knicks have never overpayed anyone before. If he's a complete bust in New York, at least he'll provide a sense of sameness and comfort to Knicks fans.
The worst case for Eddy, of course, is that his heart isn't as healthy as he'd like to believe, and that something bad happens to him on or off the court. We all pray that that never happens, of course, but if it was going to, being in Manhattan or Chicago wouldn't have made a difference to his heart. It's not irrelevant to the deal, but a number of heart doctors have cleared him to play, and you can't just run your team in fear of the bad things that could happen.
From the Knicks perspective, though... well, if Tim Thomas and Michael Sweetney were to be kidnapped and molested by Jermaine Jackson tomorrow, it's probably not going to affect the Knicks record much. I still don't see a lot of downside for them.
Joe Gibbs is to Lavar Arrington as Larry Brown is to Darko Milicic
Weird situation in Washington. LaVar Arrington is getting no playing time. He was used on only two plays in Washington's win over Seattle. He has vowed not to complain about the situation.
There were reports that Arrington refuse to play special teams, and that the team benched him for it. He says that's untrue. He claims to have no idea why he's getting Darko-esque playing time. Is it possible that he just sucks all the sudden? I find that hard to believe, but hey... it's not like I'm watching every play of every Skins game. Maybe he's been hanging out with Shawn Kemp, I have no idea.
In fact, he might just be outright released. From the Washington Post...Several NFL executives and player agents had predicted Arrington's benching as a precursor to his release. He had been mired in a lengthy grievance over his eight-year, $68 million contract that was only recently resolved, and clashed with the organization over the handling of his injuries last season. Arrington, the second overall pick in the 2000 draft, carries a $12 million salary cap figure for 2006, and while cutting him in the offseason could result in an $11 million cap hit in 2006, the Redskins have endured such penalties in the past to create future cap room. Arrington has a $6.5 million roster bonus due in July, sources said, and cutting him before then would save the Redskins $7 million in actual dollars (including Arrington's 2006 base salary).
Well, perhaps Dan Snyder could hire him to cut down some trees in his back yard, or to launch an all-out assault on nature. But in defense of the Skins, they're clearly getting along pretty well without him. They're giving up a 5th-best in the league 290 yards a game, and of course are sitting pretty at 3-0 in the wide open NFC. But still, were Lavar to be placed on the trading block at a good price, or outright released, you'd have to think that he, his chess room, and his knight's armor suit would be in pretty high demand.
Tagliabue says expansion to Mexico is likely
"We will get there -- here and in other parts of the world -- more quickly than most people appreciate because the athletes are out there," Tagliabue said.
Well, I'm guessing that the athletes on a hypothetical Mexico City football team will be mostly imported, but having a franchise in Mexico City is still an interesting possibility. I'm not as convinced as Tags that a one-time attendance of 100,000+ is an indication that there's a lot of people who will buy season tickets, but I'll take his word for it.
As a fan, it would be cool to see. I'd love to see an entirely Mexican fanbase in a rivalry against, let's say, the Texans. That could get intense. Fan a fan's perspective, the whole thing could be a lot of fun.
But I can't imagine that too many people in the NFL other than Paul Tagliabue would be real happy about it. Among the people who might not be thrilled...
- The meathead offensive lineman from Arkansas who gets drafted and told, "You'll be living in Mexico now, or you can't play football."
- The opposing teams who in play in Mexico City in Week 8, and then New England in Week 9. There could be some nasty travel schedules.
- The front office of the Mexico City Polar Bears, who get laughed at every time they call a free agent to see how much they'd like to leave the country. I see a franchise made of single guys, veterans with no other options, and young players who can't wait for their rookie deals to expire.
Of course, there are those who would benefit...
- The Aquafina and/or Dasani people. NFL teams would be buying their own water in massive quantities for Mexican road trips.
- Certain NFL players who would have far easier access to steroids.
- It would be a chance for Ron Mexico to return home to his people.
Eddy Curry traded to the Knicks
Well, Isiah finally got his man. At the time I'm blogging this, no one seems to know what the Bulls are getting in return, but due to the fact that the players are coming from the Knicks, they probably aren't very good.
The Bulls just couldn't get him to take the DNA test. It was a very tricky issue with no apparent right or wrong. You can understand why the Bulls wanted him to take it, and you can understand why Curry would refuse.
Paxson did reveal in the press conference that the Bulls offered Eddy Curry $400,000 per year for the next fifty years if he failed the DNA test. Not that I thought the Bulls were bad guys here in the first place, but that makes them look like even nicer guys.
Yesterday, there was all kinds of talk that the deal was in jeopardy because the Knicks wouldn't give up rookie power forward David Lee... and at this point, I can't find out if they did or if they didn't. If they didn't give up Channing Frye, Nate Robinson, Stephon Marbury or Trevor Ariza... they didn't give up anyone with the potential to help them win a lot of games.
And with Curry, there's still a lot of potential there. If they just gave up Tim Thomas and draft picks (which is my guess), I don't see a downside for the Knicks. Under the right coach, with an adjusted work ethic, and God willing, a healthy Ed Curry... he could still be a very good big man. He's still quite young.
More details tomorrow, perhaps.
10.03.2005
Week 4, the Smorgasbord
It's up. Snippets:This Under Armor commercial... you know, the one that's new for this year, now that they can afford actors and special affects, and whole other team, instead of just the Maryland Terrapins... two things about it bug me. 1) Why are both teams wearing their dark uniforms? Is this in the Any Given Sunday league? 2) The quote from the reporter, "You beat the big guys every year. You know they can't touch you, they know they can't touch you." So, I'm just wondering... what exactly makes them the big guys?
Terry Bradshaw does a highlight voiceover for Fox, and then gives it back to James Brown. The segment ended with Terry Bradshaw saying this: "I'm done, it's your turn. Take us outta here, Big Papa. (brief pause). Big Papa. (hysterical giggle)."
10.02.2005
Smorgasbord coming soon
Couldn't finish it last night, but it's coming soon, I promise.
Kwame Brown on Gilbert Arenas: "I would've done something seriously wrong to him."
Oh, that crazy Kwame. Remember last year in the playoffs, when Kwame didn't show up for a practice, some weird stuff happened, and he was suspended by the team for the entire postseason? Well, he explained it all this weekend. He says he didn't show up to practice, because if he did, he would've "slapped the shit out of" Gilbert Arenas.
Oh. Well, that clears it up. Kwame is now clearly the good guy in the situation, and there are no longer any questions of immaturity for Kwame Brown. I feel much better about him. You?
Kwame says that Gilbert Arenas went to the coaching staff and told them not to put Kwame back in the game. Kwame interpreted that as a stab in the back. I'm a little bit more inclined to look at it as good leadership.
Arenas is the best player on the team, or at least, the straw that stirs the drink. If he feels like Kwame is out there killing the team (not really a huge leap there), then it is in fact his duty to ask to coaches to keep him out. No, he isn't making the decisions, but a recommendation is hardly out of line. Arenas and the coaches are saying it never happened, but even if it did... you could understand why Kwame took it as he did, but... sometimes, at that level, if you want to win, feelings have to be hurt. This is not the 4th-grade community league.
And none of this says anything about the fact that Kwame should just shut up about it and move on anyway. Why blame Gilbert Arenas now? Why claim that you avoided practice because you didn't think you could keep yourself from striking him? Is that supposed to make Kwame Brown look better in some way? Am I supposed to be impressed with his restraint, or mad at Gilbert Arenas? Because I'm not. Kwame looks to me like a bigger douche than he was yesterday. Good luck, Phil Jackson.
Kenyon wants # unretired
Because Cincinnati had the audacity to fire a guy who was caught on a police tape stumbling around his car shortly after vomiting all over the inside of the door, Kenyon Martin now wants nothing to do with the university. He wants his number unretired.
Now, I'm not saying that you can't rack up a DUI and still have a lot of things to contribute as a human being. You can. But certainly, you could understand why Cincinnati thought they might have had a little bit of an image problem with Huggins as head coach. Surely, Kenyon has to understand that. Maybe to Kenyon, he was a great guy, great coach, mentor, drinking buddy, whatever... maybe they shared a very special drunk/designated driver relationship, I don't know. But sure he would see Cincinnati's side of things, too. It's not hard to see, is it?
"If he's not affiliated with the university, I don't want to be affiliated with the university," Martin told the crowd. "That's how I feel, I'm telling you how I feel in my heart. It may sound selfish to you fans who supported me over the years, but it's a choice I had to make as a man."
Well, that's very manly. It's not like I'm saying he's wrong to do this, as I really don't care. I just think it's a little weird. It's like Johnny Bench saying, "Hey, I don't want to be in the hall of fame if Pete Rose isn't in. I know he bet on baseball and lied about it, but you know, he gave me a really nice foot massage once, so this is something I have to do as a man."
Marcus Vick won't be punished for obscene gesture, or any other freaky stuff he does, for that matter
Don Mexico, younger brother of NFL-star Ron, was caught flashing an obscene gesture to fans at the Virginia Tech/West Virginia clash this weekend, and he won't be punished. I mean, if you're not going to punish a guy after he was convicted of supplying 14- and 15-year old girls with alcohol, but skating on the charges of taking lewd photos and having sex with them... what's a little middle finger mean?
In defense of Marcus, the fans in Morgantown were way less hospitable to him than he is to the young visitors of his apartment. No one broke into the locker room, slipped him some drinks, and took photos of him in the shower... they just chanted "child molester." That's what evoked the finger, though, of course, I'd never condone such a chant, nor do I know anyone who would participate in such a thing.
