Oklahoma running back Adrian Peterson racked up 139 yards and scored two touchdowns againt UAB in Oklahoma 24-17 win this weekend. Offensive coordinator Kevin Wilson said it wasn’t good enough.

“I said, ‘Hey, that ain’t close to what you need to play,’” Wilson said Tuesday. “He goes, ‘I know.’”

“I told him after the game, ‘If you’re a man, you need to go in and tell those guys you didn’t play your best.’ He was dancing too much early, he’s looking for big plays instead of sticking it, being decisive and making great cuts,” Wilson said.

Instead of that, here’s an idea: have an offense that’s prepared to produce, even if your corrupt program loses it’s star quarterback because he was taking money he didn’t earn. As an offensive coordinator, maybe, if he’s a man, he’ll go in front of his team and say, “Well, without Bomar, we’re only good enough to score 24 points against UAB, and that’s only if Adrian Peterson bails us out with two second-half touchdowns, and that’s because I didn’t coach my best.”

I understand him getting on Adrian Peterson. Sometimes, you get on your stars and leaders more than anyone else, but keep that private. Peterson’s a good player, and a smart player, he knows what he can improve. You can tell him about it, but I don’t know why want to make him hear about it on ESPN, too. Why say this to the media?

And why does Peterson have to go in front of the team and apologize for his performance? Is anyone apologizing to him?

Alright, what the hell’s going on here? A day after Miami suspends four players for the Florida State game, Oklahoma points QB Rhett Bomar in the direction of the exit door because he took some money that he didn’t earn. Just bizarre. Dave Wannstedt isn’t earning his paycheck, either, but no one’s getting mad at him.

I just thought this sort of thing happened, and everyone knew about it, and that’s just the way things were. I’m not even opposed to it. Rhett Bomar was probably shocked to learn that he was committing an NCAA violation. What the hell’s going on when our college athletes can’t take a little money under the table now and then? Especially at a car dealership. Is there a car dealership in America that’s run honestly?

And isn’t this something that Oklahoma can just sweep under the rug? It’s not like Rhett Bomar killed someone here (even though he’d be completely justified in killing whichever parent wanted to name him Rhett). I mean, I knew that something like this violated NCAA rules, but much like statutory rape is the jaywalking of sex crimes, I thought this one was the jaywalking of NCAA violations.

This is a team that’s preseason Top-5, and they’re kicking their starting QB off the team, just weeks before the season starts. It’s either an honest attempt to run a clean program, or there’s something else going on at Oklahoma that’s so dirty and so shady that they’re willing to lose their starting QB, just to cover it up.

I’ll be honest, I’m bothered by the events of the last two days. Everything I thought I knew about college football is getting twisted. If some of the top programs in the country are actually doing things by the book, I’m going to have to shift my entire mental paradigm when it comes to college football.

Clean programs. I am baffled.

Head coach Larry Coker has suspended four Miami Hurricanes for the season opener against in-state rival Florida State. It might be the biggest game on Miami’s schedule, and since this is Miami, where guys get shot, and then pull the gat out of their pants and return fire, these guys must have done something absolutely fucking insane.

I’m thinking… oh, I dunno, something like a nationwide killing spree. Perhaps a series of bank and/or train robberies, a few barnyard rapes thrown in there, the sexual propositioning of two different Mrs. Cokers (the wife, and the mother) as well as the afore-mentioned ethnic cleansing. Maybe they stole a bunch of those scooters pictured above… and then used them to run over a group of senior citizens. I mean, this is the Florida State game. Guys just don’t get suspended for the Florida State game. Whatever happened must have been seriously fucked-up.

Coker declined to say what prompted the punishment.

“It’s all the same incident,” he said. “The message is pretty clear: We have high standards here. We’re a program of quality kids. And these kids are good kids. They’re not bad kids. But we’ve got to get this message across.”

It’s for this exact reason that Miami should open up their season against a team like the Des Moines Polytechnical Institute. Because you know that someone’s going to shoot someone in the offseason. And every now and then, you’ve got to get tough and take a stand, and it’s just much more convenient to take that stand against a team you’ll beat 63-0 anyway.

The New York Times is reporting that some Auburn football players, and you’re not going to believe this, had some really easy classes. I know! Shocking, right? To think that there are colleges and universities out there who tolerate this sort of thing is absolutely chilling. If they don’t step in and stop this, soon you’re going to have players who just outright skip class. We just can’t stand for it.

Here’s the gist of the story, which the New York Times broke. Some high-ranking professor at Auburn gave out grades to football players, while very little classroom work was required of them. I’m sure the requirements were different in various cases, though former Auburn DE Doug Lengenfeld told the Times that he took a class that required him to read one book and write one 10-page paper.

Which, to me, suggests that if the professor’s goal was to give a really easy grade, he wasn’t that good at it. I expected something more along the lines of, “Read this excerpt from Penthouse Letters, and tell me how it made you feel,” or “Spell your name right, and you get an A. Spell it wrong, and I’ll give you a B, as long as you manage to make some sort of mark on the paper with your pencil.”

Perhaps I’m jaded, but… this doesn’t seem like much of a story to me. I would be shocked to learn that this sort of thing doesn’t go on nearly everywhere, and in most cases, things much worse than this. I’m not sure why this qualifies as a story, actually. It’s like someone wrote an article criticizing Rae Carruth for smoking unfiltered cigarettes. Yeah, maybe it’s bad, but… it probably wouldn’t be hard to find something much worse.

I don’t know what the hell’s going on in Oregon, but… this has to stop at some point, doesn’t it? It’s not going to be long before the Ducks call a press conference and say, “Hey, you know what? We’re just wearing teflon this year. That’s right, teflon. Coated in mylar. We’ll be the shiniest fucking team you’ve ever seen. We’re going to have to issue special sunglasses to fans when they enter the stadium, because our uniforms will scar your goddamn retinas if you look directly at them. And if you try to watch us on TV, our uniforms are going to burn your screen. Do you hear me? Your television will spontaneously fucking combust. God damn, we look good.”

I suppose in part because they lost Monday Night Football, ABC is now going to have regular primetime college football games on Saturday nights. Seems a little weird, since Saturday night football is also a staple of ABC’s kid sister, ESPN, does it not? I dunno. It’s a little too early to start thinking about football, but hey, the more football that’s on, the better.

One little quibble with ABC, though… does the color guy have to be Bob Davie? Never in my life have I been watching a game called by Bob Davie, and thought to myself, “Wow, Bob Davie’s doing a really good job.” Never have I heard anyone else say that, or anything remotely similar to it. “Man, I’d like to whack Bob Davie in the groin with a 9-iron,” however, is something I’ve heard at least three dozen times.

I don’t really have much of a problem with Brent Musburger… yes, he’ll probably be drunk for most of these games. And yes, he doesn’t actually provide a lot of information about the games or players, other than, “Let me tell you somethin’, folks, this guy is big.” But hey… he’s Brent Musburger. He’s like your alcoholic uncle that just shows up around holidays, says some weird stuff, and makes himself the center of attention. He’s not going to make your life better in any way, but you’re never unhappy to see him, either. When he’s around, at least you know it’s an occasion.

They kick it off on September 2nd with Notre Dame/Georgia Tech. Ohio State/Texas is the next week, followed by Nebraska/USC.

Pat Forde writes sort of a preseason puff piece on the West Virginia football team. This one’s about head coach Rich Rodriguez and his straightforward, down-home lifestyle. I just wanted to point out this little note about Rich Rodrigeuz not having been to see a movie in 14 years.

Rodriguez last went to the theater 14 years ago — hoping to see Clint Eastwood’s “Unforgiven” but talked into “The Crying Game” by [wife] Rita.

Well… that explains it. If I had seen The Crying Game in the theater, I’d probably never feel like going back, either. Now, I have no idea how good that movie is… I never finished watching it. I know that I saw the film as an impressionable youth, and… well… that girl had a dick. I’m all for sophisticated, artistic films that are a little bit off the beaten path, but I mean… she had a dick. I was not prepared for that, and in many ways, I’ve never recovered.

Unforgiven, on the other hand… it’s a classic poingnant tale about a drunken, former, assassin who wants to kill the bad-ass sheriff, Gene Hackman. Outstanding movie. You can’t go wrong there. A wife talking a husband into seeing The Crying Game instead of Unforgiven… that’s grounds for divorce. I have no idea why Rich and Rita Rodrigeuz are still together.