6′4″. 254 pounds. 4.38 seconds in the 40. I don’t think it’s fair to the rest of us that this man exists. I think we have to band together as a people and kill him before he takes over the world.

254 pounds, and running a 4.38? Holy fuck. That is a bad, bad, boy. The tight end out of Maryland, scouts say, has made himself a lock for the Top 10 with his recent performance at the combine. I’m not a huge believer in drafting guys just because they have great workouts, but… this is not your average eye-opening workout. Athletically, this guy makes Kellen Winslow Jr. look like Wilford Brimley.

And not only did he run the 4.38, he he had the best tight end score in the broad jump (10 feet 8 inches) and the vertical leap (42 inches). Just nasty.

I don’t think anyone could blame a West Texas A&M freshman quarterback next season if he got under center, heard a criticism from new QB coach Ryan Leaf, and then said to his new coach, “Why don’t you shut the fuck up, loser?”

Say this for West Texas A&M… they are risk takers. Hiring Ryan Leaf to coach your quarterbacks is a little like hiring Bill Romanowski to teach you about ethics and fairplay, or hiring Kyle Orton to teach you about proper beard maintenance. I suspect that more than once next year, a West Texas A&M QB will get under center and instead of calling a play, yell, “KNOCK IT OFF” like a little bitch.

But hey, you know… a lot of time has passed since Ryan Leaf was last in the NFL, and perhaps he’s matured to the point where he can now successfully educate a younger player. I mean, I doubt it… but I guess it’s possible. I mean, the man’s entire NFL legacy is immaturity. For his sake, I hope that’s changed… it’s just hard to picture. Best of luck, West Texas A&M.