Golf Archive
20 Oct 2006
Tiger’s Relationship With Christ
Tiger Woods was at some kind of a Nike corporate outing recently, entertaining executives and various other rich people. There was a question and answer session, and most people asked questions about their swings… until some guy got up and said, “Have you accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior? And if not, prayfully, would
26 Sep 2006
We Suck At Golf
What bothers me most about the continual Ryder Cup ass-poundings is not the fact that we keep getting embarrassed… it’s that we never have an answer for it. Tom Lehman can’t explain it, Tiger Woods can’t explain it, and Phil Mickelson for damn sure can’t explain anything. We keep getting our asses kicked, in our
20 Sep 2006
…And That’s When The Whores Come In
An Irish newspaper printed topless photos of some woman who they incorrectly said was Tiger Woods’ wife, Elin Nordegren. Obviously, American newspapers still have a lot to learn from their European counterparts. I would like to see the Pittsburgh Tribune Review to publish photographs on Saturday of Carson Palmer in some hot cornholing action. But
05 Sep 2006
If Your Name Isn’t Tiger Woods, Just Kill Yourself
…because Tiger Woods is quickly proving every other human being alive to be obsolete. He won the Douche-a-Bag Championship yesterday by two strokes over Vijay Singh. And Vijay played well. He was just up against Tiger, which meant that he just didn’t have a chance in hell. Tiger wasn’t even leading heading into the final
21 Aug 2006
Tiger’s Foot Remains Firmly Pressed Against Everyone Else’s Throat
It’s hard to overstate Tiger Woods’ greatness at the moment. He’s just running through people. I thought today might be the Sunday when he’s got someone or two challenging him. The course was playing pretty easy and there were a lot of guys in contention. But it didn’t happen, because Tiger is Tiger, and no
16 Aug 2006
Phil Mickelson’s Coach Has A PCP Problem
Okay, I made that up, and Dave Pelz does not, to my knowledge, abuse PCP or any other narcotic. He doesn’t need them, because his own view of reality is distorted in ways that you and I can’t even imagine. He told a reporter that “when Phil’s at his best, nobody can beat him.” The
27 Jul 2006
Purple Paint Tossers Get Sentenced
Remember on the 72nd hole of the U.S. British Open, there were some bizarre purple splotches on the green? The vandals responsible for them were apprehended and yesterday, sentenced. One of the guys will be spending eight weeks in jail, and the other earned five weeks of unpaid community service. They represented a group called
24 Jul 2006
Tiger Woods Is Incredible
I’m not talking, necessarily, about his near-flawless final round of 67 to wrap up the British Open. It was what happened immediately afterwards that I’ll remember. If you were lucky enough to be watching, here’s what you saw: Tiger taps in for birdie, then hugs his caddie Steve Williams. Williams is ready to release the
24 Jul 2006
Phil Mickelson Is Less Than Incredible
Phil Mickelson, meanwhile, will remember the British Open for a very different reason: the really hard pin positions. “The pin positions were very challenging – that would be putting it nice,” said the Masters champion. When asked whether they were bordering on the unfair, the left-hander said: “That is not my call but they were
20 Jul 2006
By The Time You Read This, They’ll Be Golfing
The British Open gets underway at some ungodly hour this morning. Hell, they might be playing right now. And I think it shapes up as one of the more compelling major tournaments in recent memory, at least in the pre-tournament build up. Storylines abound. You’ve got Tiger, still dealing with the loss of his father,