Starting today, Jim Nantz is back where he belongs: Butler Cabin. My buddy Danks thinks Jim Nantz should be locked in the Butler Cabin at Augusta National and never ever allowed to leave. I agree completely, and I’ve contacted Craig Stadler to see if he’d accept $20 to knock Nantz out and chain him to a pipe in the boiler room. No word yet.

If you’re looking for something to do on the Internet, and themightymjd.com just isn’t doing it for you, you can had on over to Masters.org and watch everyone play Amen Corner. Coverage of that begins at 10:45. You can also watch live coverage of the practice tee all long, if you’re the kind of person who would be into that thing. Of course, if you’re the type of person who’s into watching golfers practice, I’d also recommend some LSD.

My pick to win is, of course, Tiger Woods. My second choice is Tiger Woods. My third choice, just to mix things up a little bit, is Eldrick Woods.

It didn’t seem to get a lot of attention – mainly because it involves golfers named Greg Owen and Rod Pampling – but what Owen did was positively brutal.

He had never won before on tour, he was playing great golf, he seemed to have it wrapped up… he had a three shot lead with two holes to play. But on 17, he lipped out a 10-footer for par, leaving him with 40 inches for bogey, and still a two-stroke lead. His next putt did not touch the cup. He rushed to the next two-footer, and lipped it out. Ooooomph.

The list of things that are gone:

• His first tournament win
• An invite to the Masters
• $396,000
• Any reputation he was hoping to build
• All self-esteem

I hurt for the man. I hope he finds a way to win next week at The Players Championship. But if he does come to 17 on Sunday with a lead… well… the 17th this weekend will be an island green that has historically caused people to shiver in terror. It could be ugly.

Best of luck to Greg Owen. Really.

Recent changes to Augusta National have the golf course sounding like a spam e-mail… it has safely gotten longer and harder. It’s greatest champion, though (for another few years anyway), has some issues with it.

Someone asked Jack Nicklaus whether or not it was still possible for someone to make a miraculous Sunday charge on the back nine. Here’s what the Golden Bear had to say:

“I know what Augusta is trying to do,” Nicklaus said. “Whether they’ve gone overboard, I’m not sure. But they’ve eliminated a lot of guys who are able to do that. Could Tiger (Woods) do that? Or Ernie Els? Or Vijay (Singh)? Yes. Could Mike Weir or Jose Maria (Olazabal) — one of those guys of moderate length — could they do that? Probably not. That’s the change at Augusta I have a hard time with.”

And I agree wholeheartedly. In adding and adding and adding to their golf course, it seems like Augusta National has lost something. As much as I hate the culture that surrounds the club, there is something special about the course itself that just shouldn’t be fucked with.

I just don’t want to see it become like a U.S. Open course–ungodly length, punishing rough, greens as hard and undulating as Mark McGwire’s bare chest. Those things are fine at the U.S. Open, but it used to feel like Augusta was about something completely different.

I don’t care if the scores there get lower. I don’t care if -20 wins it. It’s still a test of golf that’s equal to everyone, and I’d rather see the shortknockers have a chance to get close to Tiger at -20 than see only a handful of guys who have the length to win the tournament at -7 or -8.

I think they should just make everyone play the damn thing with wooden clubs.

Someone asked Stephen Ames if he thought he had a chance to beat Tiger Woods in he first round of the Match Play Championship. “Anything can happen,” he said. “Especially where he’s hitting the ball.”

Playful little jab at Tiger’s lack of driving accuracy this year? Maybe. Enough to piss Tiger off and ensure a severe ass-beating? Oh yes.

Tiger proceeded to humiliate the guy, Michael Jordan-style… Tiger won the first nine holes of the match, and halved the tenth, winning 9-and-8. That’s just unheard of. Tiger could play match play against your local club pro ten times, and I’d still say it’s unlikely for him to ever win 9-and-8. That’s just absurd.

Someone asked Tiger about Ames’ comments after the match. Tiger just said, “Nine and eight.”

Tiger plays Robert Allenby tomorrow. Say something, Robert Allenmiby. Talk some shit. I dare you.