In light of LeBron’s contract extension in Cleveland, David Sweet at MSNBC.com wonders if LeBron has cost himself a lot of endorsement money by staying in Cleveland, and also that the NBA will suffer for it.

It’s an interesting point, and I’m not a businessman, but… I can’t say I agree. It’s not like this is 1960, and if you wanted to see LeBron James play in that far outpost of Cleveland, the only way to get there was a 9-hour train ride, and then an 18-mile hike through snow-covered mountains inhabited by man-eating woolly mammoths. Basketball is on TV, there is this crazy thing called “the Internet,” and ABC, ESPN, and TNT, I do believe, will find their way to Cleveland to get this LeBron character on television. SportsCenter might even have a segment or two on him.

There may have been reasons that it was a bad idea for LeBron to sign in Cleveland, but I don’t know if I buy the major media market thing anymore. I don’t see Jamal Crawford and Channing Frye pulling in huge endorsement deals because they play for the Knicks. Brett Favre does pretty well with the endorsements, and he plays in Green fucking Bay. It’s just a smaller world now, and stars are going to be stars, no matter where they play. LeBron has more of an effect on Cleveland than Cleveland has on LeBron.

I can’t decide if I like this game, or if I fucking hate it. I’m pretty sure it’s nowhere inbetween. As I play, I’m either thinking, “This is fun,” or “I can’t believe I just spent three hours doing this.”

The game is supposed to mimic the experience of an NFL Head Coach, and while I’ve never been an NFL Head Coach, I’m pretty sure that it doesn’t even come close to that experience. Not that I’d expect it to, really, but you know, I don’t think a coach schedules four hours of “office hours” everyday where he does absolutely nothing.

The game starts at the end of last-season. You create a coach, determine what he looks like, what he wears (unfortunately a pretty plaid skirt isn’t an option, if you’re looking to build a Mike Holmgren clone), and some very basic things about coaching philsophy, like 4-3 defense, or 3-4, west coast offense, or balanced, etc.

I don’t remember much of the off-season that took place before the draft, mainly because I was bored to tears. I don’t know if that was the best strategy for the EA people… having the first part of the game be the most mind-numbingly boring. And then strike two came pretty quickly with the draft. I traded Drew Brees (inexplicably still on the Bolts roster) for the 10th pick in the draft, where I took Santonio Holmes, who, dealing another blow to the EA game’s realism, does not come with a lengthy criminal record. And then Vince Young fell to me at 19th (Reggie Bush didn’t go until 7th).

But the second strike took place when none of my draft picks actually made it to my team. There was no draft pick signing period… apparently my roster was full, and thus, my draft picks were automatically released to the free agent pool. No warning, no opportunity to cut anyone… they were just gone.

But I kept wading through until I got the preseason, and things got better. The week before a game, the game is structured so you have four tasks a day. Two of them, you can determine on your own, and two of them are “office hours,” which allows you to sit at your desk and do anything you want, which will be absolutely nothing. You can’t do anything–propose a trade, call a free agent, cut a player, ogle a cheerleader–without scheduling for it. And if you want to schedule time for a trade, it has to come at the expense of a practice. You can’t replace your “office hours.”

But the practices are useful. You select the type of practice you want, who you want to work out, contact or non-contact, and then do it. The more you practice guys through the week, the better they’ll be during the game. And the more you practice certain plays, the more effective they’ll be for you during the game. That part, I liked.

You’ll also have meetings scheduled… some to get a scouting report on your upcoming opponent (which is fairly in-depth, even if it will have you believing that Kerry Collins can be the greatest QB ever), some to talk to your assistant coaches and/or owner (the dialogue is pretty bad and gets repetitive quickly), where they’ll make suggestions on starters, or tell you what positions are ready or not ready to go. You also build “trust” levels with coaches, though I’ve yet to see any useful application for these ratings.

Which brings us to the best part of the game, the games themselves. Coaching these things is pretty damn fun, though it does have its own limitations. You call your plays, of course, and at any point, you can elect to talk to your guys on the bench. Your options for talking to them are “aggressive” or “passive.” Passive is sometimes a compliment, sometimes a mild rebuke… and aggressive is usually yelling at a guy. I don’t really do a lot of this.

The cool thing is, pre-snap, how you can instruct your QB. I have Vince Young set permanently to look to scramble, and he does so effectively. But you can tell him on individual plays to lock onto his primary receiver, protect the ball, look downfield, get rid of it quickly, take a deep drop, put on a fucking helmet if he’s going to plow into an old lady’s windshield, all sorts of things. And there are additional adjustments you can make… audibles, hot routes, shifting your line protection, etc. Disappointingly, there is no pre-snap option to flip the play and run it to the other side.

Defensively, the pre-snap options are a little disappointing. With your line and linebackers, you can shift them, but not really change anyone’s assignment. How bad is that? You can do these things in the ‘06 version of Madden, but not in the ‘07 version of Head Coach? You can’t manually decide to double-team a receiver, or make someone blitz.

But coaching the game, again, can be fun. I celebrate these touchdowns probably more than I do when I score them on my own in Madden. And I’m cruising… I’ve gone through four preseason games, and one regular season game, and I’ve yet to lose. The first game I played, I eeked out a 21-18 win over Green Bay, and since then, it’s been four blowouts. Chicago, Minnesota, San Francisco, and in the Monday Night opener, the Raiders, have all gotten the MJD-beatdown. Routs, all of them. The game might just be too easy.

So that’s where I am with it. Overall, I’m disappointed… it feels like they missed so many opportunities to make this thing truly in-depth. Any test-based PC game could easily destroy everything in this game that isn’t the actual game. But, that said, I can’t deny that the games themselves are fun. I’m gonna give it another few days before deciding to take it back.

I’m just wondering if maybe the NHL gets a little too much media attention. This probaly isn’t going to be popular, but… I think it’s a legitimate question to ask. Everyone knows how bad hockey’s TV ratings have been. I’m not trying to twist that knife, but… given the general disinterest of the general populace towards hockey, perhaps ESPN and other sports media outlets are giving it a little bit too much attention.

Game Seven led SportsCenter… and ESPN.com did one of those special half-page graphics for it. It was the big story of the day, and while it doesn’t quite get the same SportsCenter treatment as the Super Bowl, World Series, or NBA Finals… it’s not that far below. Is that as it should be? I don’t know what the Game 7 ratings were, but… Game Six of a very competitive series got an embarrassing 1.2. That’s like a UPN number. No need to rehash all the individual ratings, but hey, Game 7 notwithstanding, they’re turtle’s dick low.

I’m just wondering if, for example, Arena Football fans get pissed off when the NHL leads SportsCenter, while Arena Football brings in better TV ratings. On the surface at least, they’d seem to have a point… as would fans of the WNBA or women’s college softball. Maybe the TV ratings aren’t the end-all, be-all…and maybe there’s something to be said for the intensely loyal nature of hockey fans. But I still think it’s fair to at least ask if maybe ESPN should move it down the list a little bit.

ESPN is starting to slip a little bit on their attention to detail. Yesterday on PTI, Kornheiser and Wilbon were talking about how Kobe Bryant will be doing an advice column in the LA Times. They talked about it, made some jokes, and Tony did say, “We don’t know if this is true or not,” but they were treating it very seriously.

Well, Tony, I know if it’s true or not. I 100% sure that it’s not true. How do I know this? Because the person who wrote the thing also wrote just below it “This was a joke.” That’s what tipped me off. I lack the resources of the ESPN research department, but I was able, through some of my own determination and sluething skills, to determine that this was not true.

Worldwide Leader, huh? In what, not being able to read? I understand that people make mistakes, and I’ve done some dumb things here, but… hey, I’m not ESPN. That’s a big one. And it’s not really that someone fooled them, either. The person at LakersTalk.net, where ESPN picked the story up, was just fucking around. It was not an attempt to pull a fast one. He was making a joke. It’s been up on the site for 7 days, and for six of those days, it has said, “This was a joke” directly underneath it. And ESPN just got to it yesterday.

Maybe it shouldn’t be, but it’s just so hard for me to believe that ESPN bit on this. Just completely asleep at the wheel in Bristol. I’m sure that the LakersTalk.net person expected only a few chuckles from his/her own readers, and that was it. It must’ve been a hell of a shock to see it on ESPN a few days later. I’m expecting a PTI bit next week about how Flip Saunders owns a turtle that’s capable of writing letters sometime next week.

I’m not comfortable with this. It’s just my own personal preference, and I’m probably about to sound like a crotchety old man, but… Rox? Really? Is that necessary? Is it that much more difficult to type the extra two characters and call them the Rocks? Who’s writing the headlines for the AP now, Sal Masekela?

That’s all I have to say about it. I mean, I understand that this is not the Rockies are not a franchise steeped in tradition, but at the same time, this isn’t the WNBA, either. This is not Arena Football. This is not the X Games. I guess I’m just not extreme enough for this newfangled phonetic craze.

I really love this commercial. It’s just cute as hell, and hey, I’m not made of stone. I think Gatorade should continue the series… maybe get a Young Shaq in there, who’s would be like 6′8″. Maybe a Young LeBron, who has a mustache at age 8. And follow them as they grow up, too. In a couple of years, Young Jennie Finch will bring her boyfriend Young Kevin Garnett home to mom and dad, and they’ll freak out and say, “Oh, but honey, we think Peyton is a much nicer boy.” And then she’ll go, “But mom, Peyton says he loves country music more than he could ever love a stupid girl.” It could really be great.

Thanks to The Basketball Jones, where you can also find damn fine NBA podcasts.

I’d wondered about this. During the NFL draft, Under Armour rolled out some new commercials featuring the slogan “click clack.” I guess it is no longer so imperative for us to protect this house.

Anyway… click-clack, of course, is a term used for the cocking/loading of a gun, presumably before it’s fired into the chest of a motherfucker who has in some way disrespected a rapper.

Now, I don’t care… I enjoy the rap music, and hey, if I had my way, no one would be rapping about shooting people. But it happens, and I don’t think kids are going to kill each other because of an Under Armour slogan, or because Slim Thug has a song called “Click Clack” (and I’m pretty sure those lyrics — I was taught only reach for the heat if you bustin’ / So when lift this shirt that’s the end of discussion / Click-clack muthafuckas, I ain’t trying to hear nothing! — aren’t about cleats on concerete).

I do, however, wish Under Armour would just be honest about it. Clay Travis, in some nice work on SPiN on Sports, wondered about it, too, and he called Under Armour to get an explanation. They deny any reference at all to the hip-hop definition of “click clack.” They say it’s all about the sound that football cleats make on concrete, and nothing more. Here’s their explanation, again, via Clay Travis:

I contacted Under Armour, seeking comment on the duality of the “click-clack” message in youth culture. Steve Battista, vice-president of brand marketing, said as follows in a written statement: “We explain what the sounds represent in the commercial — it’s the last sound you hear before you step onto the field, the Click-Clack of cleats — it’s the whole point of the commercial … People take famous slogans and taglines and repurpose them for different purposes all the time. Hopefully they remain in a positive or motivational light …”

I’m gonna have to call bullshit on that one. Not only is it highly unlikely that they don’t know what it means, they chose it because of what it means. And again, I don’t have any kind of a huge problem with it, other than their borderline insulting denials, but… I’m guessing there are some out there, types like Hillary Clinton, or types like Bill O’Reilly, who would have a pretty huge problem with a marketing slogan that’s all about loading a gun. Under Armour shouldn’t take any less heat for it than any rapper takes for his lyrics.

I guess some Sports Emmys were given out the other day… the good news is that TNT’s Inside the NBA won the award for Outstanding Studio Show. The bad news is that Joe Buck won the award for play-by-play.

I just… don’t… get it. I don’t understand why people like Joe Buck. I don’t know anyone who thinks he’s good, I don’t know anyone who enjoys him… I’m not even sure that I know anyone who doesn’t want to punch him in the face.

There are two things that I can’t stand when done by a play-by-play person, and they always seem to go hand-in-hand… 1) believe that they are a reason that people are watching, and 2) interject their own opinion. Joe Buck does both. He’s got Troy Aikman sitting next to him, and he can’t just leave it to Aikman to provide the football opinion… he’s got to do it himself. My favorite was when he was watching a team move up the field at the end of a half in their 2-minute offense, and he asked, in all seriousness, “Hey, why don’t they just do this all the time?”

That award should be Marv Albert’s, every year.

And of course, there was this:

As the NBA Playoffs roll around, it’s about damn time someone renewed the request to get Roundball Rock back into the public consciousness. If you don’t know, Roundball Rock is the name of the John Tesh-written NBA theme that used to be on NBC. It was awesome, and it has been gone for too fucking long.

True story: A couple of years ago, we had a Christmas gift exchange at work that consisted of all gag gifts… one of those hilarious things. And someone put a John Tesh CD in there, and I had to angle and scheme to get it, because I thought Roundball Rock might be on there. As it turns out, John Tesh has a lot of other songs. Who knew?

Anyway… imagine the street cred that ABC could gain for the NBA broadcasts if they both dumped Al Michaels and bought the Tesh theme in the same season. If you have Hubie Brown and Teshie, your coverage absolutely cannot suck. You are then immune to criticism.

Red Sox outfielder Coco Crisp has an idea for a television show.

Coco Crisp is shopping his idea for a new reality show to television networks. The program, which mixes the elements of dating-themed programs with the reward opportunities of a game show, is tentatively titled, “May/December.”

As he envisions it, a 30- or 40-something single is set up on blind dates with someone of the same age, as well as someone in his/her 20s. The dater then secretly selects a favorite, and if it is the one also chosen by an audience, telephone or Internet vote, cash and prizes will be won.

That is a revolutionary concept… this man is a visionary. This idea, if I understand it correctly, is really something else. Combine dating and a game show? That’s just what TV needs. This is going to blow minds. I know that there are many of you out there who, like me, just aren’t satisfied by Elimidate. We need more. We need cash prizes to go along with the douchebags and the whores. It’s a niche that must be filled.

I think it’s great when athletes have interests outside of the playing field. Especially when those interests include putting more garbage on television. Much love to Coco Crisp. Thanks for looking out for all of us.

The biggest portion of the latest offering from George Solomon is all about defending Dick Vitale, while not really mentioning any specific complaint. The rest of the column is about Colin Cowherd’s theft, ESPN’s involvement with Barry Bonds, etc… but the biggest part of it seems to just be, “Hey, leave Dick Vitale the fuck alone, alright?” The Ombudsman’s inbox must be about 45% Vitale hatred.

But, just for the record, the Ombudsman is OK with Vitale, and… while I do kinda loathe seeing the man on TV, I was thinking today… you know, it wouldn’t be right to rail against Dick Vitale and not say anything about any number of other sucky ESPN college basketball commentators… Digger Phelps and Steve Lavin, for instance.

Phelps in particular… the next time he says something that truly helps me learn about basketball will be the first time. He, like Lavin, was hired as a commentator, and then stopped thinking like a coach and started thinking like a TV person. I hate that. Now, Rick Majerus, say what you want about the man… but he gives you all he knows. He may fuck up someone’s name, he may have some odd little peccadillos, but… if there’s something he can share with you, he does, if he thinks you’re going to understand it or not. Steve Lavin just wants to say “apple turnovers” and remind you that he used to coach UCLA.

My point is just that… you know, Dick Vitale is louder than anyone else, but I don’t think he’s necessarily worse. His passion for the game is real… that’s not a small thing. When’s the last time you saw Digger Phelps get passionate about anything that wasn’t a highlighter? I don’t intend to compliment Vitale, necessarily, but… I just think we should remember to skewer some others along with him. It’s only fair.

ESPN Radio’s Colin Cowherd went on the air last night and read, almost verbatim, a post that had appeared on a blog called the M Zone, a quality sports blog focusing on Michigan in particular and college sports in general. The post was a spoof of the Wonderlic test that kinda pokes fun at some people in college football.

I’ve never heard the show before… I’d never heard of Colin Cowherd before. But just because someone e-mails you something, doesn’t make it your intellectual property. If you use someone else’s material, just acknowledge it. That’s it. It wouldn’t have been any less funny on the show if they said, “Hey, we picked this up at The M Zone.” Someone else wrote it. Someone else worked at it. You can’t have it just because you like it.

Anyway… I’d imagine the story is working out quite well for the folks at The M Zone right now. It’s become kind of a popular thing… people love reasons to make fun of ESPN, and this is a pretty big one. Hits at The M Zone have gotta be waaaay up today. Moreso than they would have been if Cowherd had simply mentioned them on the air. So congrats to them.

Coming in July: “Ineligible Receiver: The Real Story of My Journey from the Super Bowl to the Sidelines,” by Terrell Owens. Through my various media contacts, I’ve been able to acquire a list of chapters for the upcoming book:

1. I could play basketball in Greece if I wanted.
2. GodDAMN! My abs are sweet.
3. Jeff Garcia has sex with men. Gross.
4. I wonder why Jeff Garcia never wanted to do me. Strange.
5. People who like me: Drew Rosenhaus, Michael Irvin, and… um…
6. Cooler than you’d think: Masturbating on front of a mirror.
7. I will whoop your ass, Hugh Douglas.
8. My favorite recipes.
9. Hey, I’m just as fucking sick of Sal Paolantonio as you are.
10. Donovan McNabb is a Klansman in blackface.
11. If Andy Reid died, I wouldn’t cry.

Simon & Schuster executive David Rosenthal said, “Finally, the real T.O. story can be told. It’s an important chapter in the long-term struggle for players’ rights in the NFL.”

Easy, dude. It’s Terrell Owens, not Harriet Tubman. This is not a tale of a great American freedom fighter or something. It’s an asshole wideout. Like him or not, he is not an historic figure. He does not need a book to get his message out. It’s not like he’s been hurting for media coverage.

John Rocker and Terrell Owens are both authoring books… I just find it difficult to accept that. I am of the opinion that there’s not enough paper in the world for jagoffs like these to be publishing books. Tonight, I weep for the written word.

This is what the NCAA Women’s Basketball Tournament Selection Show would’ve been like if Trey Wingo were more like Andrew Dice Clay. Actual comments are in back. Trey Wingo’s comments, if he were more like Andrew Dice Clay, are in red.

Trey Wingo: Well, this is where all decisions are made, the NCAA selection headquarters in Indianapolis. And look at that fucking room. 30 women, one hairstyle. It’s like a girls’ gym teacher convention.

Stacey Dales-Schuman: I’m just happy that you, Trey Wingo, have joined women’s college basketball. No NFL right now.
Trey Wingo: I’m delighted to be here, but let me tell you something, sweetheart. If there was an NFL game today, believe me, I wouldn’t be sitting here talking about women’s fucking basketball. I’d plant my ass in front of a TV, drink a case of beer, root for someone to get injured, and then go fuck my wife before I passed out.

Trey Wingo: Listen, understand. ESPN has their arms completely around this event. Every single game of the tournament will be seen on the ESPN family of networks, which is great news if you’re a woman or a homo. Lifetime and Oxygen are in real fucking trouble this week, aren’t they?

Stacey Dales-Schuman: Check out Purdue. Cherelle George, suspended before the Big 10 tournament for academic reasons. We don’t know if she’s going to play.
Trey Wingo: What, did she fail Home Ec? Here’s your midterm, sweetheart. Do my fucking laundry and polish my knob. There, you get an A. Run along and play some basketball.

Trey Wingo: And then you have Tennessee, hey listen, the committee has always said go play a tough schedule and you’ll be rewarded. Was Tennessee rewarded or punished for that? And what’s their reward going to be, a new pants suit for the coach? Get the fuck outta here.

Stacey Dales-Schuman: I think what happened here was that Tennessee’s left cheek got smacked and then their right cheek got smacked.
Trey Wingo: Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on there, sweetheart. That’s the Diceman’s territory there. You want me to slap some asses, bring ‘em right here, bend ‘em over my knee, and I’ll paddle their flat little asses with my prick, OH!

Kara Lawson: How about the Kentucky women getting a higher seed than the Kentucky men? The ladies are rulin’ the roost in Lexington.
Trey Wingo: Wait a second, bitch. No one’s rulin’ anybody’s roost, cuz I’m about to put my cock in the henhouse right now. If the ladies at Kentucky want to rule the roost, they can play the men 5-on-5, and see how that goes. Loser has to toss my salad. Whaddaya say, bitch?

Trey Wingo: Vivian, before we let you go, we have to ask you, you were at Temple when John Chaney was there, so hey… you ever blow Bill Cosby?

Vivian Stringer: (John Chaney) touched my life in a very personal way and–
Trey Wingo: Oh, I bet he did, ya fuckin’ whore.

Trey Wingo: You want numbers? I got your numbers. How about 24 points and 26 rebounds… and 12 inches I’d like to shove down her fuckin’ throat, OH!

Trey Wingo: When we return, we will talk to the head of the selection committee and ask them: How the fuck can anyone stand to watch women’s basketball?

Not that I’m an avid reader of Phil Mushnick, but I thought this was interesting today…

Monday, as several readers noted, ESPNews conducted phone interviews with some of Puckett’s distraught ex-teammates. As they spoke, the photo that appeared on the ESPN Mobile screen was Puckett’s. That’s right, shortly after learning of Puckett’s death, ESPN used him to sell ESPN cell phones.

That’s… that’s just not good. I really haven’t noticed if ESPN does the same thing for everyone they interview via telephone, but you know… you can’t put a dead guy’s picture on your cell phone. If you’re interviewing Kent Hrbek, put his picture in there. If you’re interviewing Gary Gaetti, put his picture in there. You can’t use Kirby Puckett’s picture to promote your cell phone. You just can’t. I don’t care how few people are buying it.

Mushnick also notes that a company called Stiner Sports, just hours after Kirby’s death, sent an e-mail to their customers selling baseball’s with Kirby’s Autograph for $800. “The sports world has lost a great one,” and Steiner Sports “still has five Batting Champ balls that have his signature.”

Just disgusting.