Great, Lance Stephenson Is Learning Lessons. Happy Now?


Lance Stephenson, whose awful words were the sole reason that great basketball player LeBron James played great basketball in Game 4 of the Eastern Conference Finals, isn’t going to talk anymore.

And that’s smart. Because back in 2007, Lance Stephenson once told me that he didn’t like the color of my shoes, and the next day, I built a full-size, solar-powered helicopter out of a rusty curling iron, and then I bit Rampage Jackson’s ear off.

Continue Reading...


JR Smith Doesn’t Yet Understand ‘Growing Up’

JR Smith Shoelaces

If you’re trying to get a handle on when JR Smith might turn into a normal, stable, predictable human basketball player, today was probably a confusing day for you.

He started the day by talking to Stephen A. Smith on 98.7 FM in New York, where he confessed this:

“[Knicks head coach Mike Woodson] been telling me (to grow up) since I got here. Honestly, growing up, I don't know if I really understand the true meaning of it.”

How’s that for a wonderful little piece of inadvertent self-awareness?

Continue Reading...


A $50,000 Fine For Untying Shoes Is Steep. A Punch In The Face Is Not.


I know that we don't solve problems with violence, but I don't know that $50,000 fines are always appropriate, either. A fine of that size in response to the attempting untying of a man's shoes is akin to six months of jail time for cheating at Monopoly.

I propose instead that Shawn Marion and Greg Monroe each get to punch JR Smith in the face. Hard.

Continue Reading...