Can be found at this location.

It was the lead item on SportsCenter last night, Michael Strahan’s little media outburst. It was an entertaining, passionate, spirited … something or other. From what I can gather, Michael Strahan is angry about something that Michael Strahan said.

Strahan went on some radio show, and said some things about Plaxico Burress and how he quit on a play against the Titans. He had some nice things to say about Plax, too, I suppose … I don’t know. Here’s the quote:

“It’s a shame,” Strahan said on the radio Monday. “You can’t give up. You can’t quit, because you’re not quitting on yourself, you’re quitting on everybody. I don’t quite understand what his lack of motivation is in those types of situations. But I’m going to try to see what it is, and if I can talk to him about it. He’s too good for that.”

And that same quote was ready to Plaxico Burress by ESPN reporter Kelly Naqi. Burress hadn’t heard it before, and he was legitimately surprised by it. But he didn’t make a big deal about anything, he said he’d talk to Strahan privately, whatever. And then at the end of Giants media time today, Strahan went nuts on Naqi.

“Come here, I want to see your face when you ask me this question, the way you are going to ask it. I know you are going to ask it in a way there is more division and more of a negative way than it was, so come here, I want to see your face, please. You’re a responsible journalist, look me in the eye and ask this question the way you want to ask it. Look a man in the eye before you try to kill him or make up something. Look me in the eye.”

Well, yeah, but … you said it, jackass. Kelly Naqi quoted you. She didn’t make up any quotes, she didn’t take anything out of context … she just quoted what you said. Again, you said it.

The problem was that the way she asked it was too negative? What do you want her to do, put on a cheerleader outfit, and read Burress the quote like she was reading him Green Eggs and Ham? You want her to slip Burress a half a dozen Prozac before she reads the quote? It’s a quote, as in, that’s exactly what you said, dickweed.

So Strahan embarrassed this reporter, called her out in front of everyone … because he called Plaxico Burress a quitter and then didn’t want to take responsibility for it. For someone who made it a point yesterday to tell the world that he’s “a man” about forty-five times, that’s a pretty bitch thing to do.

You can see video of Plax hearing the comments for the first time, Strahan’s ridiculous outburst, and listen to a Dan Patrick interview with Kelly Naqi here.

In a season that’s seen Randy Moss’s weekly passive-aggressive outbursts, the suspension of Jerry Porter for no real reason, and the mid-season firing of the offensive coordinating pillow-fluffer … this one might be the weirdest for the Raiders. Art Shell is accusing someone within the Raiders organization of trying to undermine the coaching staff and sabotage the team.

He won’t say who it is. It’s not a player or a coach and it’s not Al Davis. He believes someone in the organization is calling media members around the country and criticizing coaches.

“I’m a fighter,” Shell said. “I sit back and I watch things happen and then it gets to the point where you cross the line. That line has been crossed and I won’t sit back and allow it to happen anymore.”

Why would you allow it to happen at all, fighter? It’s Week 12, man. If this is true, and someone is doing that (and I’m not ruling out the possibility that Shell is just paranoid and senile), isn’t that the sort of thing you’d want to stop immediately? Why wait?

Then again … why wait twelve weeks to fire the coordinator of an offense that never really seemed to exist? Say this for him … Art Shell is a patient man. I think he’s probably waiting for just the right time before arguing with the officials about the Vincent Jackson/fumble/forward pass call.

Just a weird, weird story. Ultimately, it’s probably even a meaningless story … it’s just that I can’t envision any other organization in the NFL, and less than a handful in all of professional sports, where a story like this is even possible. Every organization employs a douchebag or two, I’m sure, but … to the point where the head coach is telling the media about the anonymous evil guy who’s trying to destroy the team from within? You don’t see that every day.

It amazes me that the Raiders are playing as well as they are … which, I’m aware, is not at a Super Bowl level or anything, but … they haven’t quit. Hell, this team should quit. They’re 2-9, the most talented player on the team has made himself worthless, the head coach is worried about bullshit like this, the return of Aaron Brooks was seen as a good thing, and this team, at least the defense, still goes out there and works their ass off on Sundays.

I don’t know if it’s admirable or sad.

Eh, not really. But I made new Power Rankings, and I think you’ll enjoy them as much as you’ll enjoy these photographs of the world’s greatest mother.

…is here.

Can be found here at The FanHouse.

Towards the end of the Sunday night Chargers/Broncos game, the Broncos set up to spike the ball, and they did. For some reason, though, Broncos center Tom Nalen took a dive at Igor Olshansky’s knees. On a spike play. As you can see below.

Olshanky then clubbed him with his giant Russian forearm, and was flagged for 15 yards and ejected from the game. The flag and the ejection were perfectly justified, of course… I wouldn’t argue against them. What Nalen did was technically legal… it was a play from scrimmage, he does technically have the right to block a guy, and the cut block is a legal maneuver.

The word “justified,” though, doesn’t really apply to Olshansky. The right thing to do, as difficult and against your instincts as it may be… is to not punch the guy. For the sake of your team, you’ve just gotta suck that one up and take it. If you want to find Tom Nalen in the parking lot after the game, though, I’d say that beating him to death with a tire iron would be perfectly justified. If Tom Nalen wants to take a shot at ending a guy’s season and/or career on a spike play, then I don’t think it would be completely out of line for someone to ram a knife into Tom Nalen’s stomach, park their car on his face, and play “Our Country” on that car’s stereo system until he bleeds to death.

Alright, that might be a bit much. But I do believe that the NFL should do something about cut-blocking in general. I’d argue that a cut like the one Nalen attempted there is easily as dangerous, and probably more so, than what Albert Haynesworth did to Andre Gurode. But the league’s more concerned with protecting their image than protecting their players, so Haynesworth sits for five games, and nothing at all will happen to Nalen.

It’s not just Nalen, of course, and it’s not just the Broncos… a lot of teams do this. Donovan Darius was cut last night about 30 yards away from the play, and was carted off with what looked like a pretty serious ankle injury. It’s such a dangerous thing to do, and honestly, I don’t know how any offensive lineman that routinely does it, or any coach that teaches and demands that his players use it, can sleep at night.

With all the rules they have for protecting quarterbacks, they won’t make one to protect the extremely vulnerable knees of defensive linemen and linebackers. That common denominator there is that the league likes offense… and they will never do anything about cut blocking.

UPDATE: The NFL fined Tom Nalen $25,000 and Igor Olshansky $5,000. I guess I’m eating my words a little bit there. I really didn’t think it would go down like that. Well done, NFL.

If you’re looking for reasons as to why Ronnie Brown only gained 2 yards on 12 carries against the Vikings this weekend… pop Rocky in the DVD player and listen as Mick warns Rock: “Women weaken legs.”

And Ronnie Brown has picked a hell of a leg-weakener. From BenMaller.com (via the Miami Herald, where the article isn’t working at the moment), comes this little note than Ronnie Brown and Serena Williams have been spotted about town together. Brown says they’re just friends, but I think we should be completely immature and irresponsible with this, and assume that they are, at the very least, exchanging bodily fluids on a regular basis.

So yeah, if Mick’s theory is true, and Ronnie Brown is putting his serve in her box, then he probably spent Sunday being grateful that her herculean thighs didn’t just rip his cock off. The guy probably barely had the strength to get up in the morning, let alone try to run against an NFL defense.

…is here.

Greg Schiano deserves some kind of lifetime achievement award. He’s got to be a lock for College Football Coach of the Year, but that’s not enough. Give him the Heisman, too, a couple of Daytime Emmys, a purple heart, an Arby’s employee of the month, and he should fill in for Jeff Gordon on his honeymoon. He’s earned it.

Coaching accomplishments just don’t get any more impressive than what Schiano’s done at Rutgers. Winning a national title at Miami or Notre Dame or USC… that’s great. But I think it’s probably a lot harder for a coach to step into a near-hopeless situation and turn it around to the point it’s at right now. He built this thing from the ground up. Started with nothing. Rutgers is so new to winning that when they went to dump the Gatorade on Schiano, they ended up clubbing him in the head with the cooler. Schiano thought he was being attacked.

Even if they had lost to Louisville, all of this would still apply. And I don’t think this is something that isn’t going to last. You look at how Schiano’s built this team, and why they’re as good as they are right now, and it’s not because they lucked into having a couple of great athletes, and this is going to fade away when the leave. They’ve done it by becoming a tough, physical team that controls the line of scrimmage and hits hard on defense.

So where do you put them now, if you’re a voter? Well, if Louisville or West Virginia deserved the #3 spot, then I’d find it difficult to believe that Rutgers hasn’t earned the same thing right now. They’re not going to get it, of course. I’m sure they’ll still be below Texas, Auburn, Florida, and USC … probably Notre Dame and Cal, as well.

Where you end up often has a lot to do with your starting point, and Rutgers didn’t have a great one. That’s terribly unfair, but… that’s the system we’ve carved out for ourselves here. It’s not about their strength of schedule, or anything like that… West Virginia and Louisville played similar schedules, and they had that #3 spot. Rutgers won’t, and it’s about starting point. It’s about the educated guesses of sportswriters, before the season, about how good Rutgers would be. That’s why Rutgers won’t get there. That’s the system we have. Like Will Munny says, “Deserve’s got nothin’ to do with it.”

I’ve gotta admit, though… while I’m enjoying the Rutgers underdog story as much as anyone… I couldn’t help but think, anytime ESPN had a crowd shot, that about 40,000 of those people are brand new Rutgers fans. Two years ago, for a game this time of year, Rutgers probably wouldn’t have had a crowd of 20,000.

I’m glad people are hopping on the bandwagon now, but… considering past attendance figures against current ones, I’m putting a little extra emphasis on the word bandwagon. I suppose I shouldn’t judge… I can’t say for sure what I’d have done if I was a Rutgers student that was there for two years when they were terrible, and now they’re good, but I don’t think I’d have just ignored them then and started showing up to games now.

A Raiders fan made the following touching music video about Randy Moss:

I commented on it in The FanHouse.

Color me impressed, because I didn’t think God would be the kind of cat that was even in a fantasy football league, let alone a league that started individual defensive players. I’ve been in a league like that. They’re no fun. God’s a trooper.

Anyway, the latest Sports Illustrated (which I, for some reason, don’t get in the mail until about three days after everyone else has it) has a long piece by S.L. Price about Ray-Ray and his Deion-like relationship with Christ. It puts me in a little bit of a weird spot, because I try to stay away from poking fun at peoples’ religious beliefs, but at the same time, I don’t like, and very much enjoy making fun of, Ray Lewis.

So… to hell with it. To make that omelet, we’re gonna have to break a few eggs. The article is here, but is available to SI subscribers only, I’m afraid.

Where to start… it’s sort of an unfocused article, and I don’t offer that as a criticism of the author, I think that’s a product of trying to understand Ray-Ray here. First, let’s start with the fact that Ray apparently thinks he’s, if not Christ, someone who lives in the same neighborhood.

…Lewis will tell you these days that he’s “anointed,” that he enjoys “favor,” that he is a “king” charged with fostering a national ministry on the order of Martin Luther King Jr. and that, once football is done, his mix of piety and street cred and that spectacularly nasty, Court TV-chronicled fall will drag even the most hardened hearts to the light.

If Ray Lewis is favored, anointed, or a king… I’m going to be pissed off, because I thought the meek were inheriting the earth. Ray Lewis is not meek (unless, of course, Rudi Johnson is barreling towards him at the goal line, and Ray’s got him wrapped up and dead to rights–then he sort of gets meek), and if any part of that is true, I’d like to fill out my application for anointed status. If Ray Lewis is getting in that club, so am I. and I don’t care who I have to shank to get there.

If Ray Lewis has found God, I think that’s fantastic. Really, I do. But it feels a little bit to me like Ray Lewis is one of those guys who can’t just do something–he has to do it better than anyone else alive.

If you were a kid on his block, and you told a story about how you made a three-foot jump on your bike, Ray had a story about his 10-foot jump. If you won a coloring contest, Ray stabbed a kid and used his blood to color with, just so he had a deeper shade of red. If you go to church and have a strong relationship with God, then Ray’s going to become the goddamn pastor and he will not only heal people with his bare hands, he will carry on the work of Martin Luther King Jr.

I just don’t know if it works like that. Again, I’m glad he’s got this in his life. But you don’t go from one second lying to the cops about your friend stabbing someone outside of a club just so it doesn’t get you in trouble before the Super Bowl… to suddenly becoming the holiest man this side of the Dalai Lama. Sometimes, it’s OK to sit in the back of the church and listen and contemplate. Someone else can lead the congregation. He’s like Michael Scott on the booze cruise. Let Captain Jack do what he does.

Maybe I’m being too cynical about this, and Ray not only is as chosen and Godly as he’d like to believe, but he will someday lead a movement that will bring peace, equality, love, and joy to everyone alive. But I remain skeptical.

Oh, and thanks to With Leather for bringing it to my attention to begin with; a blog that I’m ashamed that I have yet to mention here.

Or was killed, or suffered a career-ending injury, or got an apartment in Thailand with Gary Glitter, or whatever the hell happened to Cliff Stoudt.

Anyway… every night/morning, I go through all the posts at the NFL FanHouse and put the best/most notable ones into one handy little post that gets put up shortly before 9:00 every morning. It might make a comfy little daily destination, to catch you up on all the relevant NFL doings in one quick stop. I call it the Cliff (Stoudt) Notes.

Generally speaking, I feel like the quality of the NFL FanHouse has improved pretty dramatically since it first launched, so I’m a little more comfortable linking to it now, so that’s something I might to do more of. I don’t know… maybe. Also happening right now in the NFL Awards section is the handing out of some midseason awards, including worst coach, least valuable player, and best use of banned substances (and yes, it’s Merriman, you bastards).

I spent the evening working on a new batch of NFL Power Rankings. And just between us here… yeah, I’m fully aware that Power Rankings are worthless. But they can be fun. I hope. Here they are.