Not being a huge tennis fan, I’m probably not the best person to talk about the career of Andre Agassi. And I’m not going to talk to you about his place in history with Sampras, McEnroe, Connors, Lendl, et al. But it’s been a pretty unique experience to watch the arc of his career; from rebellious young guy to elder statesman, universally respected throughout tennis.

It’s difficult to find anything to dislike about him, and unlike most guys, it’s not because he was ever afraid to share himself. When he was young and cocky, you saw young and cocky. When he was older and more mature, you saw an introspective and thoughtful guy. And yesterday, when his career came to an end, he didn’t hide his tears. They were right there for you to observe and perhaps share. Most athletes aren’t going to give you that, so I’m grateful that I got to follow the career of a guy who did.

He just strikes me as a genuinely good guy. Thoughtful, caring, very self-aware, and with a huge heart. And certainly none of the people quoted (locker room attendant, daycare worker, his racket stringer, etc) in this SI.com piece by Richard Deitsch do anything to take away from that belief.

Enjoy retirement, Andre.

She’ll be tuning up for Wimbledon there. The DFS in Birmingham is on a grass court. She’s won there before. She just lost at the French Open. And, uh… you know, here’s a picture. It’s from the French Open, it’s a historical account of what happened, and… you know, that’s news. It’s news that she lost, because she’s a fine tennis player. So here’s a picture of her during that loss. She lost. News.

At least two major tennis tournaments still pay women less than they pay men.. Wimbledon and the French Open. Maria Sharapova would like to see that change.

And she’s absolutely right. There’s no reason that the men should be paid more… I’ve heard the argument that they play a best of five sets, as opposed to the women’s three, but I’m not buying it. Since when do athletes (or anyone else, for that matter) get paid based on their effort? They don’t. There is no shortage of evidence for this point… for example, Vince Carter was paid very well in Toronto, where he just didn’t try. Most American League DH’s make more than your average 3rd-line NHL grinder who gets punched in the face three times a week. Jerry Rice, Cris Carter, and Andre Reed made more than Rod Tidwell. It goes on and on. Effort, playing time, etc., have nothing to do with it.

I’m guessing at this (and feel free to correct me if I’m wrong), but doesn’t women’s tennis draw higher ratings than men’s tennis? Maybe it’s different internationally, but I honestly don’t know one person who would make it a point to tune in to see any men’s match I could come up with (well, with the possible exception of Federer vs. Nadal on clay). But with the Williams sisters (when they decide to play), Sharapova, Hingis, Clijsters, Davenport, there are a lot of potentially intriguing women’s matches.

There’s no question that the men are better at tennis, but tennis is one of the rare sports where being better doesn’t necessarily make it better to watch. The women create more interest, the talent pool is deeper, and quite a few of them have great tits. And great tits deserve money.

I kid, I kid. Truly, I just don’t see any reason to continue giving men a bigger share of the prize money, because the women are doing more for the game. It’s an old-school, cave-man mentality that needs to be dropped. So stop being sexist, and pay these hoes.

Serena Williams is announcing that she’s not playing anymore tennis this year… and I think it’s entirely possible that she won’t be playing again. It seems like every time there’s a major tournament, Serena’s withdrawing. I know she’s had a lot of injuries, but I also don’t think she loves the game a great deal. And that’s not a criticism, it just seems to be true. Some people are consumed by their sports, some people aren’t.

I’m not saying she can’t come back, of course… if Martina Hingis can get back to a high level, then certainly Serena could get back to frightening the hell out of every tiny white woman on tour. I just don’t know that she wants that. She likes designing clothes, acting, crushing coconuts with her thighs, and starring in many of my more violent masturbatory fantasies… and I don’t think she should be begrudged these things, because they bring her so much joy.
No matter what happens, if she never plays again… Serena Williams in her prime was better than any other women’s tennis player ever, in their prime. I dunno if you can call her the best ever, it depends on how you judge those things… but Serena at her best, I believe would beat anyone else at their best, and it might be something like 6-1, 6-2. So I do hope she gets herself back next year… and if not, I’ll be seeing a lot of her anyway.

MJD is back on Deadspin today. Feel free to join me over there… I may be back later in the day with something, I’m not sure. If not, though, enjoy this dirty-looking ice dancing picture, and wonder aloud what it might be like if the organizers of Vancouver 2012 changed it to “ice-fucking”:

Leaving his dominance aside for a minute… Roger Federer has now won seven grand slams. And he’s still getting nervous before his matches, and he’s still crying when he wins them. It all still moves him, he doesn’t take his success for granted, and I think that’s a cool, cool thing. Off the top of my head, I can’t think of another athlete who has achieved similar dominance who was still displaying such emotion at that point in his career.

So he’s halfway to Pete Sampras’s record of 14 slam titles, and he got there at the same age Pete did. And you know, I’m no Mary Carillo, but it seems like Federer doesn’t have the same quality of competition that Sampras had. Maybe the fields are deeper now throughout the entire field, but there’s not the same level of competition at the top. It won’t be as hard for him as it was for Sampras. Depending on his health, it almost seems like 8 more majors should be a lock for the guy.