ROYALS ALL-STAR Mike Sweeney saw the recent Hall of Fame voting results and made a good point.

“It breaks my heart that a guy like [Mark] McGwire has been persecuted for something he never tested positive for or never admitted to,” Sweeney told the Kansas City Star, “yet there are guys playing on Sundays in the NFL that tested positive and people just seem to cover that up.”

He probably meant ignore rather than cover up. Still, his argument is a good one. Shawne Merriman led the NFL in sacks with 17. Maybe he would have had more if he didn’t have to sit out four games because of a steroid suspension.

Or maybe he wouldn’t have gotten to 17 without the juice. Merriman finished third in defensive player of the year voting and will be in uniform for the Chargers playoff game on Sunday.

McGwire? His reputation is slightly south of a snake’s belly.

Merriman did sit out, chief. Barry Bonds ever have to sit out a game?

Where are these people? Where are these people that completely accept steroid use in football? Where are these people that see Shawne Merriman and say, “Hey, that guy’s fast!” with no mention of steroids? I don’t think these people exist. I’ve never met one … and believe, I would damn sure like to.

I can’t watch 10 seconds of a Chargers game without some dickhead friend of mine injecting his ass with an air-syringe. I called a friend the other day to talk about Junior Seau’s being accused of some not-so-nice things, and he stretched himself out for some kind of “What, did he take a bunch of steroids like all San Diego linebackers?” joke. I was embarrassed for him, and then I had to insult his mother. You think I enjoyed that? You think I enjoyed telling this guy that I’m going to have to spend a week-and-a-half washing his mother’s feta-cheese stench off of me?

You’ll find people on both sides of the Mark McGwire/HOF debate, while I’ve found almost no one but myself on my side of the Shawne Merriman/Postseason Awards debate … which is odd, because it’s pretty much the exact same argument.

My point is that I think people do care about Merriman’s positive pee-pee test. And I’m not complaining about that, I would absolutely expect them to care … and the second I heard about it, I could glimpse the years and years of abuse for which I had just signed up.

But the “people care about McGwire, but don’t care about Merriman” thing … well, I think someone made that up. I don’t see any evidence of it. A first-time positive test in baseball gets someone suspended for 50 games. 30.9% of the season. A first-time positive in football gets a guy 4 games. 25% of the season. Ooooh, big difference.

What it is, I believe, is a sneaky little way for the learned, cultured, refined baseball fans of the world to cast stones at the illiterate meathead football fans of the word. “Hey, we care about this horrible tragedy, and you don’t. It’s really a shame that football fans are such simple-minded, paste-eating dolts, while our noble hearts bleed.”

Garbage.

Also, if I can wake up in six hours or so, I’ll be live blogging the Gator Bowl over at the FanHouse, if any of you happen to be interested.

Also, Happy New Year. Nice to see you crazy kids again.

The Miami commentator certainly doesn’t need any convincing that this brawl was good for Miami… and of course, it’s bizarre and wildly irresponsible for a commentator to suggest that a brawl that involves the swinging of helmets and stomping players while they’re down can be construed in any way as a good thing.

The play-by-play guy is talking, and describing what’s happening until the other guy jumps in and starts talking like Ray Lewis outside of a nightclub before the Super Bowl. At that point, the play-by-play just seems bewildered and is like, “Alright, fuck it, then. You talk.”

But you know… maybe that guy’s right. Maybe all the fans that were screaming and holding up the ‘U’s are right. A week or two ago, I was telling people that Miami’s next head coach should be Dennis Erickson. Miami had lost its swagger… the guys on the 7th Floor hadn’t been able to get any pussy for months. Maybe Miami has to choose between a Dennis Erickson lifestyle, scaring the hell out of people, and winning every game by 40… or a Larry Coker lifestyle, with only two or three arrests per year, and an 8-3 record. Maybe it’s one or the other.

I know there are clean teams out there that can also win… but Miami’s just not one of them. It’s not in their nature. It’s like asking Andrew Dice Clay to do a 60-minute set and make people laugh without making any sex jokes. Some things just aren’t meant to be.

So hey, maybe this was a good thing… not for college athletics, FIU, the Florida legal system, or any sense of public decorum, but for Miami. For ‘The U.’ Maybe they had to go out there and say, “Yeah, we might suck this year… but we’re still the motherfuckers who will beat you with our helmet and put the cleats to you when you’re lying on the ground.” Maybe this was the first step towards setting a new tone in the post-Coker era (which is certainly coming).

And speaking of the stomping… that was #19 Brandon Meriweather’s proudest moment since this play.

It has returned.

And I’ll get the old ones imported over and get comments going and stuff, when I have time. So, you know… never.

That had to feel good.

Many thanks to Enrico Campitelli Jr. of eagles.aolsportsblog.com for hooking up the video.

But you know, that’s what happens when a guy dies so close to the season opener against the Dolphins. In fact, I’m surprised that they don’t have those little plastic Steeler flags flying from the windows of the hearse. Did a “Here We Go, Steelers, Here We Go!” chant break out at the funeral?

Many thanks to my man Keith at PittPantherHoops.com for the tip.

Team USA does one thing well, and that’s forcing turnovers, which is different from playing good defense. This is not a team that’s going to shut anyone down in a halfcourt set. It’s just not. We gave up 100 points to Puerto Rico, and 90 to China, and a lot of that has to do with the pace of the game, but even the Chinese were getting the shots they wanted against us. Teams, if they can take care of the ball, will get the shots they want. We can’t stop them. The steals are good, of course, and they can be effective, but it really just masks the fact that we’re not very good in a halfcourt defensive set. Good teams are going to find a way.

And we’re not very good in a halfcourt offensive set, either. A team that plays a good zone is going to give us problems. It shouldn’t be that big of a problem, but it is. Argentina can do it to us, Germany can do it, Spain can do it, France can do it, Serbia & Montenegro can do it, and Slovenia can probably do it, too. We’ll see how that goes on Tuesday morning.

I’m starting to think this just can’t be done, and that if we want to start winning these things again, we have to abandon NBA players and create a real national team that practices and plays together, year round. More on that as we get closer and closer to disaster.

You know what would have been a better message, Coach K? How bout this: “I don’t care if you lose, and I don’t want you losing your confidence if you do lose. I want you playing at your peak seven weeks from now. I want us at our best when this mission finally gets serious.”

You can’t be dominant if you’re not even superior, and right now there’s a team in Argentina that has first dibs on worldwide rights to being the best. Manu Ginobili and Co. earned that distinction fair and square in Athens, and they get to keep it until somebody knocks them off their perch.

I’m gonna have to side with Coach K on this one. I see where Sheridan is coming from, and it would seem like domination is a but much to ask for, but I don’t believe that’s really the case. The fact of the matter is that if you were to rank, on a scale of 1-100, the pure basketball talent of all the national basketball teams of the world, the United States would still be 30 points ahead of any other nation. I firmly believe that. And when the gap in talent is that wide, dominance should not be unfeasible.

Now, I’m not saying it’s a given, of course. But the biggest challeneges facing the Unites States team have nothing to do with the talent of the other countries, but the following series of factors, in no particular order: 1) their guys are more familiar with playing with one another, and aren’t playing under a new coach and new style every four years, 2) their style of play was designed exclusively to attack our weaknesses, 3) it’s a very, very different style of basketball than we’re accustomed to seeing, 4) we have traditionally shot very poorly from the international three-point line, and 5) every other basketball nation in the world places more of a value on fundamentals. If nothing else, they aren’t going to beat themselves. But in terms of talent, we could send an NBDL team over there still be fine, at least in terms of raw, physical ability.

Which is why I think it’s OK to preach dominance. If we go over there, prepared for what we’re going to see, ready to defend it, and ready to shoot teams out of their zones, everything should be fine. Despite what happened in Athens, despite what happened in the ’02 Worlds, I still think we are capable of running through any team we’ll encounter. I’m not saying it’s going to happen, and I’m not saying I’ll be disappointed if it doesn’t happen, but it certainly can happen. It would take a near-perfect coaching job, and you know what? I think we have the right staff in place.

I’d rather implore the team to dominate than to tell them it’s okay to lose, under any circumstances, because there’s no reason this team ever should lose to anyone. He might not seem it, but Mike Krzyzewski is a hard-ass. He’s Bob Knight without the public outbursts. The job means a great deal to him, he’ll be as well-prepared for this as he possibly can be, and he will tolerate no poor attitudes. And I hope that he’ll lean heavily on assistant coach Mike D’Antoni, who knows the international game as well as anyone.

That 16.9 million does include 5 million viewers from Univision, on top of the 11.9 on ABC…. so neither of the individual ratings is going to be setting records. But still, it proves that there’s an audience in America that is, at the very least, soccer-curious. Now, I’m not predicting that the MLS is ever going to take the nation by storm, but if they can improve their marketing, their level of play, and maybe get some help from a decent American performance on the World Cup stage… maybe there’s a market there for them after all.

And a quick heads-up… a couple of these links are very much inappropriate, if you’re in any kind of a work environment, or if you’re a decent human being. Particularly the Mary Pierce one, and the one right after Spanish Chocolate.

—

Danks: it’s nice to see they have the second string broadcast team tonight
mjd: Stuart Scott is going to brutalize us for like six hours.
Danks: yeah he sucks
Danks: the TrailBlazers are going with the fire sale technique
mjd: Oh, man… the Blazers are trading up and aren’t taking Adam Morrison.
mjd: People are going to fucking riot.
Danks: yes
Danks: i hate people with diabetes
mjd : At least he’s going to Charlotte, somewhere where the hair and mustache will fit in.
Danks : i hope he starts smoking
Danks : listening to Jay Bilas compared to the others is like listening to Stevie Wonder compared to Kid Rock
mjd : Yeah, it really is.
Danks : it should be Reece Davis, Andy Katz, Jay Bilas, and Eric Wynalda

mjd : And Julie Foudy laying in front of the desk, nude.
Danks : using a whistle and a red card anyway she wants
mjd : Rrrrrow.
mjd : Man, Morrison looks ridiculous with that hat on.
Danks : why is he trying to look like a damn hippie

mjd : Oh, good, it’s Dick Vitale.
Danks : "WHY HASN’T JJ BEEN PICKED YET BABY!"
mjd : I want to set him on fire.
Danks : best player in draft right there with Tyrus Thomas
mjd : Could be… depends on how he’s used.
Danks : hopefully he is used in many sexual ways
mjd : I think Scott Skiles is just that kind of coach.
mjd : Ooooh, the lavender sweater vest from Ty Thomas…
mjd : You rarely see that under a black pinstripe suit.
Danks : why the fuck is taking advice from Simone Augustus
mjd : The only thing he should take from her is her virginity.
mjd : Any team that drafts a guy named Shelden has never seen "When Harry Met Sally."
Danks : Sam Cassell has just drafted Sheldon Williams to the All Ugly team
mjd : He’ll certainly fit right in.
Danks : i cant wait for the second round
mjd : If Foye goes to Houston… Houston’s lucky.
Danks : does Greg Anthony know that he is full of shit, and has no idea what he’s doing
mjd : He spends all year watching the NBA, and all the sudden, they want him to evaluate college guys.  Whatever works, I suppose.
mjd : I don’t think Houston should take Gay… they need a guard. Marcus Williams should be their pick.
mjd : Oh, man. I hate to see Foye get stuck in Portland.
mjd : Their roster is now Foye, Aldridge, and shit.
Danks : i hope he likes dog fighting
mjd : That’s the team initation, he has to fight Qyntel Woods’ dog.
mjd : Man, Boston looks dumb right now… Foye for Telfair?  Come on now.
Danks : and Theo Ratliff motherfucker
mjd : Yeah, actually… he’s a Top-5 center in the East.
mjd : Shane Battier for Rudy Gay…
mjd : I hope Jerry West used lubrication during that rape.
Danks : wait what happened
mjd : They’re trading Battier for Gay.
Danks : interesting
mjd : I love Battier, and he’s a fine player, but… I dunno. Gay’s got star potential. Battier is what he is… and he’s not a rookie anymore.

Danks : he’s more confusing looking than Jason Kidd
mjd : Swedish, I believe.
Danks : i’d like to fuck some sweeds
mjd : Like Bjorn Borg?
Danks : Patrick O’Bryant

mjd : I think that’s a good pick, too…
mjd : It’s too bad that playing for Golden State will contractually require him to be mediocre.
Danks : yes

mjd : Oh, that’s fucked up, Dan Patrick.  "We have a big trade, we’ll tell you about it after this commercial."
mjd : Asshole.

Danks: yes
mjd: Sear Sene already?  Reeeeeach.
Danks: what the fuck
Danks : i think he’s an ex-goalie
mjd : 3.1 PPG last year? Yeah, looks like a future goalie, too.
mjd : Bilas: "Doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing offensively." That’s always good to hear.
Danks : we’ll never hear from this guy again
mjd : Wait, I remember this guy… I watched that USA Hoops Summit game.
mjd : Yeah, he blocked crazy shots. But that was about it.
mjd : Redick to Orlando.  I think Dick Vitale is masturbating.
Danks : did you see that shit grin on Vitale’s face
mjd : Yes.
mjd : A Trajan Langdon mention. That guy was good for me on NBA Live.
Danks : nice
Danks : have fun sitting the bench asshole
mjd : Ah, I think he’ll start.
Danks : not after i bust his knee caps
mjd : Fair enough.
mjd : Seems a little early for Hilton Armstrong. But look at the neck on that guy.
Danks : nice Merton Hanks is back
mjd : He certainly is plentiful in the neck department.
mjd : I want to drop an anvil on Stuart Scott’s balls.
Danks : i wish the ombudsmen would come out and say "I fucking hate Stuart Scott"
mjd : I think the ombudsman is Stu’s uncle.
Danks : nice, a black dude from Federer land
mjd : How do you take a Swiss guy in the lottery…
mjd : He’ll be playing for the New York Liberty in two years.
mjd : Actually, he does look sorta freakishly athletic there, doesn’t he…
Danks : yeah not bad
Danks : hey what do you think of Kim Clijsters?
mjd : Eh.
mjd : I mean, she’s not cracking my Top 10 list or anything, but… I would plow her like an Amish rutabaga field.

Danks : Link
mjd : Goodness.
Danks : yeah i was never into her and then i saw that picture…and now i really wouldn’t mind giving her the dirty hewitt
mjd : I wonder if that Swiss guy has ever nailed Martina Hingis.
Danks : she looked good today
Danks : Link
mjd : Where do you find this shit, man…
Danks : damn David Stern is pissed
mjd : Wow… he fucking hates Dan Patrick.
mjd : I bet it took two or three people to help Hingis get that wedge out.
mjd : Lucky Ronnie Brewer… hello, Salt Lake City.
Danks : yeah
Danks : give me a name of a tennis chick and i’ll hook you up
mjd : Jimmy Connors.
mjd : I think David Stern’s been drinking.
Danks : Link
mjd : NICE.
mjd : Cedric Simmons… hey, ACC player that Vitale likes.  What a surprise.
mjd : I like the Rodney Carney pick for Philadelphia. He could be a stud with some work.
Danks : he can be nasty
mjd : Are they going to play him and Igoudala together?
Danks : good question
mjd : I want to poke Stuart Scott in the eye.
Danks : ha
mjd : Indiana’s going to get Marcus Williams here… just like they got Granger last year.
Danks : yeah lucky fucks
mjd : Or not.
mjd : Back to back Memphis Wildcats off the board.
mjd : Maybe teams just feel like Memphis players are NBA-ready because Calipari’s been paying them for so long.
Danks : true
Danks : Greg Anthony should be shot by someone soon
mjd : I think I have a crush on Jay Bilas.
Danks : i want david stern to get drunk and punch Dan Patrick
mjd : What do you think Stern drinks?
mjd : I say straight gin.
Danks : yeah that sounds about right
Danks : possibly Colt 45 40′s
mjd : I think that’s unlikely..
mjd : Big Ukrainian guy goes to the Wizards…
mjd : Fran Fraschilla likes it, so it must be a good pick.
Danks : I would listen to him if he could hold a fucking job
mjd : He looks like a malnourished Lurch.  Ukranian guy, that is.
mjd : He plays for "PARIS BASKET RACING."
mjd : Basket racing is a completely different sport. I hope he knows that.
Danks : that is a lame name, but not as lame as the Swiss soccer club "Young Boys"
mjd : Yeah. I always get arrested when I wear my "Young Boys" jersey.
mjd : Considering the way the NBA’s going, how are we 18 picks into this thing, and no one’s taken a point guard?
Danks : you think if the Knicks drafted Pittsnogle, that Spike Lee would give him a thumbs up
mjd : Spike Lee loves Pittsnogle.  I think he’s starring in "He’s Got Game 2" this summer.
Danks : Link
mjd : Why…
Danks : i dont know
mjd : Quincy Douby, to Sactown. David Stern approves.
mjd : I wonder why Quincy wasn’t at the draft. Was there a Bon Jovi concert on campus at Rutgers tonight?
Danks : haha
mjd : This Knicks fan wants Marcus Williams… good luck, fuckhead. IN THE RIVER, BABY.
Danks : hey Stuart Scott your mother’s a terrible cook
mjd : He is also under the mistaken impression that Nate Robinson is good.
mjd : That idiot Knicks fan that was on a minute ago now has on a Nuggets jersey.
Danks : hahahahahaha
mjd : Renaldo Balkman. Huge crowd favorite.
Danks : oh yeah
mjd : I don’t even know if that guy exists. I think Isiah just thought, “Wouldn’t it be awesome if there was a guy named Renaldo Balkman? I’m going to take him, just in case there is.”
mjd : He was an NIT MVP.  That seems oddly appropriate.
mjd : Jay Bilas is hammering the pick… this is fucking awesome.
mjd : I wonder if the Knicks could win the NIT.
Danks : Isiah should be fired right now
mjd : Hey, that’s odd. There’s a guy is jumping up and down smiling, holding a sign that says he’s depressed.  You don’t see that everyday.

mjd : Balkman looks like a janitor with a drug problem.
Danks : i’d rather draft Greg Anthony
mjd : That was awesome. Thank you, Isiah.
mjd : Spike’s keeping the faith.
mjd : Spike Lee is the one reason I kinda want the Knicks to get better. I mean, a schmuck like me deserves to cheer for a bad team. But Spike Lee is a genius… it just seems wrong.
Danks : yes
mjd : Andy Katz says Boston is trying to get back in the draft, to take Rajon Rondo… who is a point guard. Much like Sebastian Telfair.
Danks : oh great lets pay Brian Grants 45 million a year contract
mjd : So you take Grant’s massive contract, so you can have a back-up point guard?
mjd : I like Rondo, but… I don’t know how this makes sense for Boston.
mjd : I also don’t have any idea how Rondo gets taken ahead of Marcus Williams.
Danks : what’s made sense in Boston since drafting Larry Bird?
Danks : fucking Danny Ainge, hit or miss
mjd : If the Nets don’t take Marcus Williams, I’m just turning the TV off.
Danks : yeah its getting a little absurd
mjd : Marcus Williams to the Nets… Knicks fans are pissed off.
Danks : its a beautiful thing
mjd : Oh, man… the Nets took Josh Boone, too. The other guy the Knicks fans wanted.
Danks : haha sweet
mjd : Josh Boone, Jason Kidd… the Nets are becoming the "Hey, what fucking color is that guy?" team.
Danks : yeah what the fuckis going on
Danks : Link
mjd : Oooh. Not bad.
mjd : Man, the Nets did really well for themselves… back-up point guard, serviceable big man… Rod Thorn, represent.
Danks : Link
Danks : mary pierce, my my
mjd : I don’t have any sort of a response for that.
Danks : haha i wish that was real
mjd : She doesn’t seem to be enjoying herself there…
Danks : no
mjd : Wow. Rudy Gay’s watch cost more than my car.
Danks : was that rudy gay’s mom?
mjd : I think so.
Danks : not bad
mjd : Are you alright, man?
mjd : Hey, Kyle Lowry. I like that pick.
Danks : yeah it is a great pick
Danks : did Jim Grey get a labotomy
mjd : He seems depressed.
Danks : maybe Kobe Bryant raped his wife
mjd : That’s not nice.
Danks : i think Jerry West just laughed at Rudy Gay’s last name
mjd : Farmar to the Lakers… I’m not a huge fan.
mjd : 42-inch vertical… damn.
Danks : yesh that’s pretty damn good
mjd : My vertical is only like 39.
Danks : still not too bad
mjd : Oh, that pick was still a part of the Shaq deal for the Lakers… so I guess Farmar means that the Lakers won that deal.
Danks : i thought they already had
mjd : Yeah, Lamar Odom was really robbed in the MVP vote this year.
Danks : oh yeah
Danks : this movie looks funny as hell
mjd : I’d let Uma Thurman throw a shark at me.
Danks : yes
Danks : Sergio Rodriquez, didn’t he score two of the four goals against Ukraine?
mjd : He’s also a hell of a golfer.
mjd : They call him "Spanish Chocolate." I think "Spanish Fly" works much better.
Danks : Link
mjd : That’s a tight jersey.
Danks : yeah not bad
mjd : What the hell is wrong with Jim Gray…
Danks : i think he is trying to get fired
mjd : Hey, Maurice Ager… our first crier.
Danks : about time
mjd : I’m bored.
Danks : yes
mjd : Find me a Aranxtra Sanchez-Vicario picture.
Danks : got it
Danks : hahahaha this knicks fan is awesome
mjd : Mark Jones is disgusted.
mjd : Do they look for dumb Knicks fans, or are there just not any smart ones…
mjd : I actually kinda like Mardy Collins.
Danks : who the fuck is Mardy Collins
mjd : Big point guard, good defender… can’t shoot, thogh.
Danks : nice
Danks : Link
mjd : I thank you, kind sir.
Danks : next?
mjd : Amelie Maruesmo. With the big shoulders.
Danks : Link
mjd : Excellent work… though she does look a big mannish.

mjd : But hey, I’m into that.
Danks : i try
Danks : next kind sir?

mjd : Capriati’s ass.
mjd : Awesome… British guy just gave Stern an England soccer jersey.
Danks : yeah that was sweet
Danks : Link
mjd : You are amazing.
Danks : i cant be stopped
mjd : I bet you can’t find a picture of Martina Navritilova doing a guy.
Danks : i can try
Danks : hahha i found something even better
Danks : Link
mjd : You are a world champion in this field.
Danks : i am only getting better too
mjd : Alright. Find Billie Jean King looking hot.
Danks : that may be impossible
mjd : That’s your challenge.
Danks : Link
Danks : the best i can do
mjd : Ouch.
Danks : how do you ref a street ball game?
mjd : That’s a very good question.
mjd : "Hey, you, the guy playing defense… get away from him."
Danks : pretty much
Danks : what the fuck
mjd : Hey, if Shaq thinks he’s Superman, does that make Cuttino Mobey and Steve Francis "Ace and Gary"?
Danks : i think so
mjd : Did the Bucks take the purple out of their color scheme?
Danks : fucking homophobes
mjd : I think they did.
Danks : they should go back to that picture of the Buck smiling dribbling the ball
mjd : Hell yes.
mjd : And those three-tone green side panels.
mjd : The Jews in the crowd love the pick of the Isreali guy.