Alright, I want to kick this fucker down a flight of stairs. In consecutive weeks, I’ve seen one guy wearing Chargers, Chiefs, and now Raiders jerseys. Who does that? “Hey man, who’s your favorite team?” “No one, really, but I like the whole AFC West.” Realignment must’ve been very difficult for him. There’s a new [...]

Just to give fair warning, we’re only going to have about half a Smorgasbord today. I fucked up something in my back this morning… it’s not major, but I’m not well. I can’t extend my middle finger at an Eagles fan without a fair amount of discomfort. I don’t feel like sitting here all day. [...]

Here’s a perfectly reasonable question, posed by my man Dirty: In that commercial where Golic asks Greenbreg to pass him the salt… why the hell can’t Golic just get the salt himself? When he points to it, it’s no more than a couple inches from his hand. And Greenberg is the bed-wetting mama’s boy? Bullshit, [...]

Michael Irvin are Mike Ditka are debating the best team in the NFC, with Irvin arguing for the Cowboys and Ditka arguing for the Bears (ya don’t say). And if this was being scored by a college debate judge… Irvin would be killing him. That’s not something you want to put on your resume, Coach. [...]

I think Tom Jackson broke into Michael Irvin’s closet this morning. He’s wearing a black pinstripe suit that I believe is made party of aluminum. TJ doesn’t usually get that flashy. It also amuses me how he gets a pissed off look on his face every time Michael Irvin even opens his mouth to speak. [...]

Rolling across the bottom of the screen on CBS: “Dwight Freeney Out (buttocks).” Someone had a crazy Saturday night. We’ve got a aouple of surprise appearances this week. My boys Nate and J-Dub are in the place, and I wasn’t expecting either of them. They’re both also pretty good candidates to get hammered and say [...]

Here’s something that makes me not want to do the Smorgasbord: two weeks in, and we have not seen Crazy Fish Guy. I’m concerned that a bookie finally got ahold of him. Or that he had a massive coronary. Or he was convicted of drunk driving and running over a girl scout troop. Really, there’s [...]

December 24 Before the NFL games are to start, there’s poker on one of the big screens, and it is in HD. I’d like to make a nomination for the “Television Activity That Benefits The Least From High-Definition” category. But it is tremendous news for you that can pick up tells from watching the opening [...]

We’ve got a brand new waitress this week. She is also of the overly-friendly variety, but of course, that may just be my undeniable sexual magnetism. She’s friendly, she’s bubbly, and she’s a little touchy-feely, which of course I like. You know, I really feel like the Chargers have a better than 50% chance to [...]

My arrival was delayed until right at kickoff this week, which is not my usual modus operandi. I like to get in at around noon or so, enjoy a little bit of NFL Countdown, and give the waitresses a chance to have me all to themselves for a while. But I did a little traveling [...]