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Archive for the 'Smorgasbords' Category

Week 17 - 2006/2007

Michael Irvin’s made an interesting choice with his wardrobe today. He took a normal suit, smeared it with melted chocolate, and then rolled through a forest on his way to the studio this morning. Just a bizarre look. I mean, you can get creative with the color and the cut of your […]

Week 15 - 2006/2007

The crew of the CBS pregame show is kicking around the question of whether or not his breakup with Bridget Moynahan affected Tom Brady’s play last week. Since they broke up weeks ago, I tend to doubt it. And even if they had broken up that morning… you know, just fuck the CBS […]

Week 14 - 2006/2007

I don’t know if they do this every week, but Fox’s pre-game show likes to send Pam Oliver out to do interviews with a particular team, and the general tone of the Pam Oliver interviews I’ve seen is something like, “Hey… you suck. Tell me why, asshole.” She’s downright mean sometimes. If […]

Week 13 - 2006/2007

Sign in the background for the Fox pregame outside of Giants Stadium: “IT’S ALL A-ROD’S FAULT.” I’m not sure if that guy’s trying to be funny, or if he actually thinks that’s true.
The Bills/Chargers game is underway, and the Bills won the toss and elected to receive. The opening kickoff is […]

Week 12 - 2006/2007

Tony Romo is being interviewed via satellite on CBS’s pregame show, and one of the bullshit analysts says that he heard “Dukes of Hazard” was Romo’s favorite movie, and asks when he’ll be going on a date with Jessica Simpson. Romo, to his credit, is quick to correct the notion that he enjoyed that […]

Week 11 - 2006/2007

I could be wrong, but I think Tom Jackson just advocated the physical beating of Randy Moss. I might have missed the first part of the sentence, but he said the right thing for Moss’s teammates to do is to givie him a “code red” and just beat the hell out of him. […]

Week 10 - 2006/2007

Rudi Johnson isn’t starting for the Bengals for disciplinary reasons. Wait, let me try that again. Rudi Johnson isn’t starting for disciplinary reasons? Man, the Bengals are running out of good guys. About Wednesday, we’ll hear about Carson Palmer and Marvin Lewis murdering a transvestite hooker when some double team action […]

Week 9 - 2006/2007

Why has ESPN moved Steve Young out of the studio? Is this something new, or did it happen a while ago, and I’m just noticing it… I’d hate to think that they shipped him out to make room for Ditka. Ditka might’ve been a great football coach, but I’d take Mike Tyson […]

Week 8 - 2006/2007

Alright, I want to kick this fucker down a flight of stairs. In consecutive weeks, I’ve seen one guy wearing Chargers, Chiefs, and now Raiders jerseys. Who does that? “Hey man, who’s your favorite team?” “No one, really, but I like the whole AFC West.” Realignment must’ve been very difficult […]

Week 7 - 2006/2007

Just to give fair warning, we’re only going to have about half a Smorgasbord today. I fucked up something in my back this morning… it’s not major, but I’m not well. I can’t extend my middle finger at an Eagles fan without a fair amount of discomfort. I don’t feel like sitting […]